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    #1

    NEW HERE.. Looking for answers...

    Geez...

    I really cant believe im doing this but yea i know ive got a huge drinking problem... i come from a family of addicts... i suppose its interesting we are all in the creative arts.. why do artists always seem to have addictive personalities?

    I looked at my recycling bin this morning on my way to work.. 6 wine bottles and 10 vodka... all empty.. all drank by me... in less than 2 weeks.. every morning theres the sluggishness.. the partial hangover.. my gut feeling bloated and me HATING to look in the mirror..

    im tired and feel sick.. Last night i drank a large bottle of wine and polished off half another.. all while working on a large project for a client... am i a functional drunk??

    My entire family indulges... so when were together its bottle popping time... we tend to lean on each other so much for emotional support and encouragement. We are artists.. we are entertainers and we LOVE a good time.. but the good time is ALWAYS with booze..

    Thing is i dont want to necessarily STOP drinking.. i enjoy a good drink! I just really need to moderate.. slow down.. IM drinking alone at home.. and even when i cant afford it i find a way to squeeze a few extra dollars out to buy a bottle...

    Its probably important to mention im a BI POLAR... so yea.. im one screwed up dude... i black out and have said horrible thiings to my GF... i dont even know if were together any more... my relationship has driven me to drink because its been 6 years and its falling apart...

    i dunno.. im just not sure what my next should be.. but i know i need to slow it down BIG TIME.. i want to be healthier.. i want to have a clearer head...
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    #2
    NEW HERE.. Looking for answers...

    your off to a good start, you can recognize something needs to be done. You have come to a good place. Have you read the book? It helps you understand the program. I recognized my drinking was out of control quite a few years ago...I didn't want to do anything about it then, I had reached a point of not wanting to feel like shit the next day, also was embarrassed for my self as I couldn't remember simple family conversations the next day, It was just all getting old. For me taking small steps...very small, and learning to except the times when I "fail" as stepping stones. These stones have helped me to some type of clarity, I think they refer to it a sobriety?. Staying sober, not drink free yet or AF , but sober, has helped me to remember what it felt like to wake up refreshed, no headache, no fog, no wondering...what did I do last night etc. Some how the combination of this program the supplements, and most importantly the determination has helped me to a better place in this world. I am thankful for that, although I recognize there is still room for improvement. Working on that, on small step at a time. So good luck and keep posting. This can only improve your life and who doesn't need that?

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      #3
      NEW HERE.. Looking for answers...

      I hear ya.. and thanks for the positive reinforcement... Ive caused a lot of pain to my girlfriend during my blackouts.. id call her horrible names and say horrible things.. :-(

      some things just cant be undone... im trying not to let the stress of my crumbling relationship get to me... when shes stressed me all i could think about was getting a drink.. LoL

      thinking about it, when id go to her house id hide a bottle of vodka in my overnight bag and just wait for her to go to sleep.. it was the only way to cope... i still have alcohol at my house now.. this is my first day.. im going to really try and make it through the week.

      Wish me luck!

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        #4
        NEW HERE.. Looking for answers...

        Welcome to you sh3--

        To me, it seems that you have your head together. Check out the programme and post a lot here. You are a prime candidate for success, I think.

        I'd be very interested in hearing more about your projects.
        Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life... And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

        Steve Jobs, Stanford Commencement Adress, 2005

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          #5
          NEW HERE.. Looking for answers...

          Welcome!

          Even if you don't have time/commitment to read the book, I suggest surfing around here.... this is a GUILT FREE ZONE!

          I've only been doing this since the end of November, and I didn't find this forum until New Years Eve.... it's a great feeling to know that I'm not alone.

          Look, maybe you want to drink again- I know that I am looking forward to the day when I can crack open only one beer and be done for the night. I'd love to have "JUST ONE"... I'm just not there yet.

          You mentioned that your family indulges... so does my family- out of 7 kids, I'd say 6 of us are true partiers.... Genetics or Upbringing? That's a great debate, but personally, I believe it's genetics. With that in mind, I've made a conscious decision to NOT drink because it's a physical addiction that I cannot control....YET. Someday, I'll figure out HOW to control it, and knowing that I can have a beer later keeps me sane today.

          Welcome, Shellz!

          Patty
          Tampa, FL

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            #6
            NEW HERE.. Looking for answers...

            great post, Not Happy. I can relate.
            Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life... And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

            Steve Jobs, Stanford Commencement Adress, 2005

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              #7
              NEW HERE.. Looking for answers...

              Well Beatle Im in retail design and visual merchandising but i also have a smaller side business called Studio San Hachi. Its my own art illustration and design service...

              I work all day at my company and then usually go home and work for my own particular clients... at least i try to.. sometimes its hard.. late night.. alone... music going... and i say.. hmmm..i could really go for a drink..

              do i have any? any VK? (my code for vodka) any Vino? and at times.. more often than not.. my ONE cocktail turns into an empty bottle on the floor and me passed out and my girl bitching the next day i didnt call her back... or worse yet i did while blacked out and we fought..

              Then theres the pressure of finishing whatever work i have to get done for any deadlines.. i try so hard not to let my clients down... so far so good... but at the cost of running myself ragged or making mistakes...

              WOW... ive never had a chance to really talk about this with anyone before... This is REALLY refreshing! Ive tried to discuss it with my GF but she just tears me down... I even tried AA but it was too much for me.. especially being in the church was like.. ok.. its an addiction.. im not a satan worshiper... I do pray though

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                #8
                NEW HERE.. Looking for answers...

                [QUOTE=Not Happy Hour-Happy Life;253030]Welcome!

                Even if you don't have time/commitment to read the book, I suggest surfing around here.... this is a GUILT FREE ZONE!

                .... it's a great feeling to know that I'm not alone.


                Nothappyhour is right as is everyone else who posted. Keep surfing here. Lots of folks who care and have been at it as long as you have with guilt, blackouts, stress, over work, you name it. And getting better. The point here is to get healthier. Not to get perfect. Hang around. Keep coming back. Thigs will start to move.
                all the best,
                Diane52

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                  #9
                  NEW HERE.. Looking for answers...

                  can relate with the creative/addictive thing. welcome! you can get a lot off your chest here.
                  see you round
                  "From now on, walking is my beer and feeling good is my hangover" .....Homer Simpson

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                    #10
                    NEW HERE.. Looking for answers...

                    Thanks MAx... i find myself watching celebrityadddiction on VH1... people need to remember thy are people to.. .damn

                    i drank tonight... :-(

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                      #11
                      NEW HERE.. Looking for answers...

                      Hi Shellz: welcome. am also kind of a crazy creative type, writer, although what I write for my job isn't that creative (educational stuff).we will chat!
                      :boxer: Get the hell out of my house, Al, you worthless bastard!!

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