Frustrated by Closed Minded People

[PJ]

I've been doing MWO about three months now, and feel great!

It frustrates me that no one else seems to notice the difference. I had one glass of wine Saturday evening after 5 days AF. Then on Sunday during an argument with my daughter, she accused me of being drunk every day. Was I really that close to normal when I was drinking every day, that she can't tell the difference now?

Then there's my niece's therapist and probation officer... They are Totally on my case about total abstinance through regular AA attendance being the ONLY thing acceptable. According to them, my one glass of wine on Saturday is some sort of "proof" that I am still out of control. When I've mentioned MWO and MM, I get eye rolling looks like "yeah, we don't care what you say if you're not 100% AF, going to AA meetings, have a sponsor, and working the steps - forever."

Meanwhile, I feel great. Going for another 7 day now. Just wish all the closed minded "AA is the ONLY way" natzis would back off!!!!!

[Guest]

Frustrated by Closed Minded People

You know what...you have to do what WORKS for you. Screw the rest of them. If I were you I would tell my daughter to look at the good and stop focusing on the negative. You AREN'T drunk, but her negativity certainly is not helping you heal. Kids can be cruel. YES, we have put them through some rough times...welcome to life. It isn't always roses. But, beating you up isn't going to help the sobber cause.

[Lotus]

Frustrated by Closed Minded People

PJ

You should be happy with your success....well done.

Maybe have a chat with your daughter when you are both a bit calm. She may have just said it to "get one over you". I have it with my MIL. If we get into an argument when I've had a drink it's because I'm drunk, if we argue and I haven't had a drink, it's because I'm craving a drink!

Unfortunately there is no reasoning with AA and it's beliefs. Instead of arguing with them believe in yourself and your achievement. Be positive.

[MDBiker]

Frustrated by Closed Minded People

PJ, congrats on the three months of moderation. Good for you. Screw the guys who are pushing AA on you. They have no business pushing you into AA when you are doing well here. They probably don't undersatnd MWO; but they also have been brainwashed into believing that AA is the only real way to get sober. It is a common held belief within the medical community and goverment. Many people are remanded to AA for alcohoic violations and it works for many of them. They know that and they know nothing about anything else. I do go to AA by choice. It is against the AA traditions for anyone recovering in AA to do what these people are doing.

You keep doing what you are doing as long as you are getting the results you want and to hell with everyone else. You can tell them I said so if you want...he he. It will be alright, you just need to understand they think they are doing what is best for you. You can just prove to them they are wrong.

God Bless

:huggy


Bear

[KateH1]

Frustrated by Closed Minded People

Good for you and all your positive changes PJ..! You know what, some people just have the NEED to always feel RIGHT!! Too bad for them..huh? But, just remember, you are doing this for YOU. Keep doing this for YOU and in the long run, you will prove yourself successful!

Take Care,
KateH

[Thankful]

Frustrated by Closed Minded People

Oh, Patty. That would tick me off too. You have every right to vent. Why don't you have these negative nellies view this website so they can see for themselves how amazingly supportive it is? Congrats on your great achievement so far!

I was a very heavy beer drinker (40-60 beers a week) for over 15 yrs. (God, it's so embarassing everytime I type that out. :blush. I've tried to cut back so many times and nothing ever helped. I accidently found this site on 12/27th and have been AF ever since. I just log on everyday and these words of encouragement or worse someone else's pain, keeps me fighting. Show them what this is about even if you have to print some posts from senior abs or mods. You can keep your sign-on name a secret from them too, if you wanted.

I can not say anything negative about AA from personal experience, but I know many people in here have stated that it's not for them. I know family members who have been and think it is awful. It's way to "harsh and judgemental". Their words, not mine. It does work for some people though. Bottomline, if your daughter and niece's therapist and probation officer the have not been there then they should not insist it's the "only way". However, you need to keep in mind that your family obviously is in a lot of pain because of your drinking and you can not make that go away overnight. They need time to heal as well.

Don't lose sight that you are doing a great thing and only greater things will come of it. Even if no one else notices, your heart will never fail you.

Love, Me
:l

[PJ]

Frustrated by Closed Minded People

It's interesting that the only one who's supportive of my MWO/MM approach is my other daughter, who happens to be an long-time AA're with nearly 9 years sobriety. She's noticed how well I'm doing and has stated that she doesn't care what approach I take so long as I keep doing whatever I'm doing now. Pretty cool!

It seems like all the closed minded people are the ones who think they're doing me a favor by harassing me back into what hasn't worked before just because that's what is currently politically correct, or it's what they've been brainwashed to believe is the ONLY possible right answer. Grrrrr!

[Determinatrix]

Frustrated by Closed Minded People

Patty, I get the same thing from my family. They want my husband to be abs only and tell him mods CANNOT be done. It really pisses me off because how can someone tell you something cannot be done? How do they know? Maybe he can. What if he does? Every paradigm can be broken. It bothers me that others would not be encouraging and actually try to bind someone up with doubt. It's so difficult to reach the point of acknowledging a dependency, nevermind getting to day 5 AF. I just think it offensive to put roadblocks.

Give them time to learn the new you. Give yourself time to prove to them you have made a change.

Congrats on 5 days!

Dx

[Jacy]

Frustrated by Closed Minded People

Hi Pj...

I don't know your story.

I assuming they are going by the rules as in a courtroom usually the judge would recommend attending AA if you are considered a problem drinker.

You know what works for you so continue doing it they can't make you go to AA meetings they can only suggest it.

I wish all the best for you.

Jacy

[jane jane]

Frustrated by Closed Minded People

If someone tried to "make" me go to AA, they'd be off my speed-dial mighty quick. It's just not for everyone! Too lock-step, too preachy, too cultish, and OH the danger of walking in and seeing someone who knows you! If that's the only way to stay sober, I'm done for. Call the paddy-wagon. Day 14 and not a twelve-step in sight!

[Saint Jude]

Frustrated by Closed Minded People

PJ, congratulations on your 5 days!:goodjob:

I hope that with time your family will see the difference. I know it took quite a while with mine...

I've been to in-patient treatment 2 times, AA many times... none of that worked for me.

MWO has saved my life! I no longer have to feel like a "sick" or weak, or "defective person"...all those friggin labels! It's enough to drive ya to drink!

Not to mention going to meetings and talking about nothing BUT THAT!!! That'll make ya REALLY thirsty! Then having to "count your sobriety days"... I always drank longer & harder just BECAUSE of that...if I DID drink, you've already F'd up your sobriety & have to go back and "fess up.. might as well make it worth it...
That whole mind set with AA just drove me to drink more than I ever had before I'd ever been there!

I personnaly wouldn't reccommend it to anybody..unless I really didn't like them. Can't think of anyone I dislike that much right now...

[Mags]

Frustrated by Closed Minded People

Speaking of AA, sometimes you are forced to go by the courts - I was. I had to go and hated every minute of it and didn't learn a damn thing from it except that I was better off drinking than going to these terribly stupid meetings. That's another topic for another thread.

As for having people not understanding that not everyone has to follow the outdated (and unsuccessful) AA model and never ever have a drink, I have been confronted by that also. I have been seriously criticised for having a glass of wine last year on my birthday. One glass.

It is very difficult to explain to others that AA is old and outdated and is not the only way. I just try to tell people just that. It is an old and outdated treatment and many more modern treatments using much more modern science exist which are more successful. I tell people the AA model is for TV dramas, not for real life.

Hope that may help. sorry for your troubles.

[MyHeartIsDrenchedInWine]

Frustrated by Closed Minded People

Focus on the supportive people and ignore the others. Or better yet, roll your eyes right back at THEM : )

Congrats on your great success ((((HUGS)))) !!!!!!

[BELIEVE]

Frustrated by Closed Minded People

I would think that if you get a handle on things, no matter how, people around you should definatley notice at some point. Its definatley frustrating but keep with it. Congrats too on your progress so far!

[Rags]

Frustrated by Closed Minded People

Dea PJ,
What a shame that you are in the company of people who don't understand the terrific steps you are taking............... and it seems with little /no support.
Keep believing in yourself, keep believing in your ability. Your sense of fulfillment at going AF will give you the strength and confidence to continue. You have done so well considering you sound like you have some negative people round you. Fear and ignorance may have something to do with their attitude. Not to concern yourself too much with that. Just concentrate your energy to your purpose.............staying AF.
MWO is the way to go!