Cracking up!

[Diamond7]

I feel like I'm losing it today.

I was on day 9 yesterday and feeling sooo good and then the doorbell rang about 4:30, more backlash from last month's fiasco. The stress kept building and building but I was handling it OK until about 9:00 and I just said 'screw it' and had 3 glasses of wine. It wasn't hard to stop at all, didn't want more than that but I'm pissed as hell at myself for giving in. Didn't have a hangover, I feel fine today other than feeling like I'm about to go crazy .

I don't have any 'escape' from the pressures of my life. No one will just leave me ALONE!!!!! I feel like the whole universe is against me. How am supposed to deal when it seems there is NOTHING good? And everytime I think I'm handling the complete mess my life is, someone decides to give me another good swift kick in the ribs.

I've always had a fantasy of living on top of a mountain where no one can get to me except by hiking, horseback or helicopter....maybe then I could have some peace:upset: .

I know no one can help me, I just needed to unload for a minute. Thanks for listening and love to you all.

[hart]

Cracking up!

(((Diamond)))

First of all, congrats on only having the 3 glasses of wine! I could not stop at three drinks, so I admire that you could. Secondly, I'm sorry you are dealing with such stress. I find journaling sometimes helps me, or something physical.

I hope your troubles get smaller and smaller. :l

[PJ]

Cracking up!

Diamond, what fiasco happened? Why was the 4:30 doorbell so difficult?

I've had a lot of drama and harassment lately, too. It's taking some time to sort through, but the thing that's working best for me so far is planning boundaries in advance (like only answer the door when I've invited someone over...). Also, some mood stablizing supplements; tryptophan 2 hours before bed (it takes time to metabolize), and Relora in the morning seems to help me not get too caught up in the stuff that I can't change or fixe right now.

Hang in there. You're doing great!

[Bella]

Cracking up!

God...what a wonderful idea...to live on top of a mountain and no one can get to me! I might steal your fantasy and have that as mine. I think you did really well to stop at 3 wines Diamond! Don't beat yourself up over this.....learn. all the best to u Bella xx

[Diamond7]

Cracking up!

Hart, thanks for the hugs & encouragement...sure need that right now.

PJ, the door was someone from a State agency that is known to take your kids from you and put them in 'foster' care where they are starved, beaten, enslaved, degraded, raped etc. etc. etc. They said it was not their goal to take my kids away, just to get me some 'help.' Ugggh yea, right!!! And of course their kind of 'help' means prying into your personal life and feeding you loads of crap about how to 'deal' with your problems. I'm no fan of people sticking their noses into my life for ANY reason...I'm 10 times less enthused when they do it under the guise of 'helping' me when the only real help I need they won't/can't give me.

Thanks for the suggestions and caring, I really do appreciate it.

[Jacy]

Cracking up!

Hi Diamond.. I can relate to turning to the ole' Mr. Slick when the going gets tough. That is what happened to me last time. I was doing really well on my 8th day and all this crap started happening at once. So I said oh f..ck it I am going to have a beer. I didn't just have one or two I had several. The problems were still there the next day when I woke up.

It didn't solve anything except that I calmed down some. I just want to say you did what you needed to do at the moment and the most important thing is that you were able to stop. Don't beat yourself up about it; it happened and it is now in the past.

All the best to you. I hope things start looking up for you.

Jacy:l