What the hell is wrong...feeling really bad

[Thankful]

Sorry to sound so negative folks, but the past few days have been hell and I have no idea why. I've been trying so hard to remain positive, but I feel like I'm losing the battle with my emotions. I have no desire to drink, so that is the only good thing. I'm confident that I will not slip. It's just this awful feeling of just wanting to cry all the time. I went through this between days 3-10 and was fine up until a few days ago.

It's day 22 AF for me, lost 12 lbs and a little more than 2 1/2 inches. Why is that not enough to cheer me up? After 22 days shouldn't the emotional roller coaster stop or at least slow down? I haven't slept well for the past 2 nights, but the depression started before the lack of sleep. I've also had days (even weeks) with very little sleep, so I know that this is not the cause of feeling so blue.

Is anybidy else going through this after 3 weeks AF? I didn't expect to be estatic forever, but this is a hard fall. I don't know what to do to snap out of it.

[dexterhead]

What the hell is wrong...feeling really bad

Hi thankful! I am sorry u are feeling so down. Although I haven't gotten 3 weeks AF, I have heard that quitting can be an emotional roller coaster for quite a while, with good days and possibly very bad days. I am so glad you don't want to drink. I just wanted to say I am thinking of you:l :l :l You have been such an inspiration to so many here! I'm sure one of the "old-timers" will have some better words of wisdom...

[meditation mama]

What the hell is wrong...feeling really bad

You sound good, under all of it, really! This is a time when the realization of our new life startsto set in. A lot of times there is some confusion, and also maybe some fear.. at least it was that way for me. A new mind, new body, etc. but the old way was comfortable..right? Comfortable, but not good for us. Keep that close! I am not sure how long you had been drinking, but if it was most of your adult life, it will take some time to adjust, so be gentle. Go to movies, try new activities(not too many at first), but start to do some things always wanted to do.. you can do anything!

The one thing I do want to suggest is L-Tryptophan. That is if you are not on any prescriptions (if you are check with your doctor). L-Tryptophan is used for depression, moods and sleep. I take it now and I CAN NOT believe the diffence in my outlook. I wake up rested (I also take 5mg sublingual melatonin for sleep), I am calm and have a sence of relaxation that helps me make good decisions. If you are interested in more informaiton, let me know, you can PM me...

But, know you are doing so well and all your emotions are pretty much exactly where they should be.

Way to go!

Namaste,

MM

[middlepathpilgrim]

What the hell is wrong...feeling really bad

Hey there, Thankful:

Noticed that you're out here on the East Coast. Have you considered that you might have SAD (Seasonal Affect Disorder)? I know this is my really hard time of year with depression, insomnia and anxiety. I have to take anti-depressants, anti-anxiety and light box therapy to get me through these long New England winters (not to mention copious amounts of wine IN THE PAST). Come mid-April when the days get longer, I'm ususally off all of them.

Have you thought about maybe trying a tanning session just to see if the light therapy helps? I know a lot of the spas around here offer light therapy (non-tanning high intensity light) as well.

Sending you much love this morning. Thanks for all your kind words yesterday. May they come back to you tenfold.

Gloria

[Thankful]

What the hell is wrong...feeling really bad

Thank you both for caring to post back. I appreciate your comforting words.

Med mama, never felt "comfortable" drinking. I hated it for yrs, just never could quit until I came here. So I never had that feeling. I will checkout L-tryp. Thanks for the suggstion.

[Thankful]

What the hell is wrong...feeling really bad

Gloria, I guess are posts crossed. Didn't mean to omit you from my thank you(s).

I do love the longer days, but I don't think that's the problem. Thanks for the suggestion though. I really appreciate it. I do try to get out during the day, but it's just been harder to do lately.

I've got to figure out something soon, because I'm really losing it.

[juli86]

What the hell is wrong...feeling really bad

Thankful, Are you taking the B-vitamins? They have a lot to do with mood. Exercise can also boost mood. Have you lost 12 pounds in 22 days? Or was the weight loss over a longer period of time? Congratulations on the weight loss...if it's been in the last three weeks, your body must be in shock! Hang in there and keep reading/posting. I'll be thinking of you...

[lookingforhope]

What the hell is wrong...feeling really bad

Hi Thankful,

Sorry you are not feeling well. I understand the wanting to cry all the time, drinking or not. I just wanted to mention something, hope you dont mind. Month after month, I forget the lows from previous monthly cycle and then a good friend reminds me, that it looks like I am hitting that time again. It is extreme for me, crying for days and hitting new lows. Just a thought...

lookingforhope

[Reenie]

What the hell is wrong...feeling really bad

Thankful: Hang on for the ride. I felt the same way after 30 days of AF. My anxiety kicked in and so did the sadness. I wanted to cry but couldn't. Nourish your body. Talk your feelings out. Your body is going through a lot of changes. You are also feeling emotions you normally would have surpressed with alcohol. When you go AF you actually start to feel again. You are not going to die from feeling your emotions. Go along with them. Understand that, "This too shall pass". You are doing your body and mind just service by eliminating alcohol. Things will work themselves out with time and patience. Should you still feel teary, go to the docs and asked for a depression med. I take Cymbalta. I haven't experienced any negative side effects and it has helped to keep my weepiness at bay. You will be okay. Just hang in there and ride the wave. -Reenie

[MDBiker]

What the hell is wrong...feeling really bad

I can't say much that hasn't already been said. I too was depressed for a long time after quiting. It is very true that everything changes. Not that that is a bad thing. You hang on and stay with it and you will overcome this. For me it was learning to live life again without the fog. I became the person I had supressed for so long and I really had to learn how to live in that skin. You are doing great, and should be proud of what you have accomplished. Hang in there, you will get past this.

God Bless,

:huggy

Bear

[Thankful]

What the hell is wrong...feeling really bad

All of you - thank you so much. I can't believe how complete strangers can care more than my own family. Wow.

Juli86 - I take a multivitamin that has B1, B2, B6 and B12. Not sure when weight loss actually started, but weighed myself about 6-8 weeks ago and as of yesterday I was down 12 lbs. Couple of wks ago when I noticed my clothes were looser, I decided to take measurements, and the inches lost have only been in the past few weeks. So don't know if there is any connection there. I figured that should make me estactic, but I guess not.

Looking - no, it's not that either. That's what I chalked days 3-10 to be mostly about.

Reenie & MD - you both are always pillars. You've always got great advise.

Guess, I'm really upset that my family acts like my sobriety is such an inconvenience to them. Soo tired of hearing how mean I am for not taking them to the liquor store. And why do they have to be "punished" because I quit drinking. They think if I just wait in the car while they run in, I shouldn't have a problem taking them. Can you believe these assholes? Anyway, just told them off, again. Feeling a little better.

Thank you all very much. Believe it or not, you mean the world to me.

[keeta]

What the hell is wrong...feeling really bad

Thankful,

I am glad you are feeling a little better, but concerned that you are not receiving support from your family. Could this perhaps be contributing to feeling depressed? Have you spoken to your Dr. about it at all?

Hang in there, you are in my thoughs,
Love and hugs,
K

[PJ]

What the hell is wrong...feeling really bad

Thankful, when I was in rehab they said the emotional roller coaster ride could last up to six months as your body readjusts and heals (lots of boring details).

In the mean time there's lots of great supps and rx that can make the ride less overwhelming. Typtophan or 5-htp (amino acids) help with seretonin levels. There's also Relora (herbal blend) or valerian root and several others that I can't think of off the top of my head. And Omega-3 (fatty acid) is a big help too - you can do fish oil capsules or rub Emu/Ostrich oil on your skin.

Hope this helps.

[BELIEVE]

What the hell is wrong...feeling really bad

Wow Thankful I can relate to what you said about your sobrity being an "Inconvinience" to your family members. That describes a couple of my old freinds. Freindships that were based on drinking. First off they called every day of my first 4 days or so wanting to drink, then they left me alone, now they're broke and calling again. They want to get me drinking so I can buy them alcohol as well. I told them I was doing good and didn't want to mess it up, so they just straigh up asked me to buy them alcohol. I swear people are unbeleivable!

And yes its ironic how we can turn to strangers for support as we go through our stuggles here. People are fucking crazy I'm telling you....

Anyway just ride this thing out. Really you have some things to be stoked about. Losing all that weight in that short of time is SICK!! Big congrats on that, most people can't even get off their asses long enough to lose that much in a year. Plus your rather admirable string of consecutive days AF....You're killin' it! Keep your chin up, better days will surley come around!

[slightlysuze]

What the hell is wrong...feeling really bad

Thankful......you are doing great!

I think what you describe is common.....and I suspect it has two components, firstly your body is making physical repairs from the drinking and secondly your mind/spirit is trying to repair itself. Personally, I think the mind/spirit thing is hardest once you get past the initial AF. On both levels I think the best thing to do is to be kind to yourself. Eat good food, sort out sleep problems if you can (good advice here already), maybe have some massage, go for leisurely walks, work out at the gym?? On the 'inner' level.....oh boy, I'm still working on that one myself! The only thing I hang on to is to remind myself that however stressed/sad/anxious etc I am, taking alcohol will only make it worse in the long run. Sorry.....at the moment that's all I've got to offer, I'm hanging on by a thread myself.

If it's any consolation, I still don't feel physically well since giong AF in October.....but I am living in hope!


Love


Suze xx