Hi I'm back

[twinsmommy]

I have been gone for a while. I went off the Topa for a bit. Guess it didn't work. Have been thinking of leaving the husband. Scared though. Ihave four year old twins. I am going back on Topa and gonna try to come here every day. I need to be Af I guess to make sure I am making the right decision. I want to moderate but can't seem to very well 'cause I am always unhappy. But the more sober I am the more unhappy here am. We are in counseling but it is slow and expensive. And maybe it is all me and my drinking. Having a poor me day with 2 sick kids home.

[paula]

Hi I'm back

Welcome Back Twinsmommy, I would love to be able to moderate, but not possible for me,
hope you can. Hope your day gets better.
Paula.

[twinsmommy]

Hi I'm back

Thanks nice to hear from you. Doesn't seem so for me either. At least not without meds. My childre are more important than the drink so I've picked.
JoAnn

[paula]

Hi I'm back

A very wise decision. Good luck.

[Accountable for Me]

Hi I'm back

Welcome back twins mommy! I think you are doing the right thing by trying to get sober before making a huge life altering decision. Stay close, and wishing you tons of strength!

[Bella]

Hi I'm back

Welcome back Twinsmummy! Good to see you. Bella xx

[Guest]

Hi I'm back

Lovely to have you back with us twinsmommy. Wishing you all the best for the future.

Starlight Impress x

[Not Happy Hour-Happy Life]

Hi I'm back

Hi Twins mommy. I love your name. It's not Alcohols-friend. Twins mommy proclaims to the entire world that your CHILDREN are what's important, right? :heart: JoAnn, some people can moderate because alcohol hasn't infiltrated their brains. Fifty years ago, even though alcohol was considered a "disease", there was no magic pill. The only "cure" was abstaining, and social intervention. Today, research proves that alcohol is a poison that reacts differently in individuals, which is why some people can take magic pills (i.e. Topa) and it can change their brain chemistry. Twins mommy, it doesn?t work on your brain. So many of us WANT to moderate, but we can?t. You said it yourself- the Topa didn't work. Isn't it time for you to stop drinking?

You have two wonderful children that love you and need you, and they need you sober.

Get sober first. Please, go back and read some of your old posts~ I did. You say that you don't like your husband when you are sober, well, do you really think he likes you when you are drunk?? Get sober so you can decide WHY you don't like your husband. Get sober and prove to yourself that you are a competent, courageous and passionate woman. Get sober so you can give love and laughter to your twins. Get sober so if you want to throw your husband out, you can do it solidly on two feet.
You must be there for your kids. Get Sober.

JoAnn, I'm not saying it's easy. However, if you are really serious about divorcing your husband, then you're life is about to get turned upside down. This happens everyday. Someone moves into an apartment on the other side of town (you or your husband?). Wednesday night ?visitations? and every other weekends. The addition of Mommy?s or Daddy?s ?special friend?. The new wife, the step mom. From your posts, your husband will fight tooth and nail to keep his kids, because he has no plans on leaving them with a drunk mommy. And if he has to "fight nasty" in the courts, then you have to get ready.
Stay here, and we?ll help you. If you really want to keep your kids, you?ve got to get sober, NOW.

[Beaches]

Hi I'm back

Welcome back from another twins mom! I am happy you came back. Stay with us!

[hart]

Hi I'm back

lo

moving thread

[twinsmommy]

Hi I'm back

I guess I come off wrong

Maybe I misunderstood happylife but thepost seemed harsh.
I guess in other posts which I will go back to, I must come off the wrong way. It's not that I dislike my husband per say (sp) We just have never been a good match. No he doesn't like me drunk and I have not been for quite some time. Really since I started here. I have sometimes gone off the topamax b/c it was too expensive or too strong and when I lower the dose I have no problem moderating so I think I am ok. Then I go off and have an episode. The problems we have are there regardless. At least I think. Anyway my episodes are usually at night when everyone is asleep but not always. Doesn't matter when though. The reason I am back is because I know I need support which I don't have here even from him and I know I need to be AF to see if it really is us or the drinking. I also know that I need to be Af so that I can always be a good mother not just most of the time. I was not a daily hard core drinker even he will say that. I also came back to make sure that I can be sober so if I do go on my own I don't have to worry that Ican't keep my kids safe. I have never tried AF and I think that is the betteroption since I have had problems and I would be alone w/2 small kids. That is what I fear. Gettting out on our own and me slipping up. As it stands now I just came back from the doc. I am on Topamax, Adderall (for ADD just dianosed b/c of anxiety, substance abuse etc.) Xanax, and today he put me on prosac for depression. Makes me Question? Do I stay in a relationship that makes me so unhappy that I have to be that heavily medicated. (Wasn't like this before) Or am I that unstable and just need to be somewhere with someone to watch me?

[hart]

Hi I'm back

(((Twinsmommy)))

Hon, you don't have to ask yourself the hard questions right now. Let the new drugs work on you. It usually takes a couple of weeks for an anti-d to start being therapeutic. So when you are better able to think, that would be a better time to consider your options. You are doing well hon, and I know you are a great mother! :l

[Beaches]

Hi I'm back

Yes just give the medication some time to do it's work. Sounds like we are on two of the same med's. I just started with Xanax and it is making a huge difference. Give it time. Keep posting and coming back for support.