Geez, Paddy - Rocky - Popeye all surfaced in the last couple of days. It's great to hear from my fellow estrogen challenged memebers all, with so many other beautiful souls on this site, gave me hope when I first stumbled in here.
I also have been on a break from MWO. This program has given me a brand new set of wings and I have been leaving the nest, learning to fly.
For me, MWO represented a chance and a hope there was an alternative to being told I was powerless over alcohol and meetings without end. When I first came here I had dwelt in all the dark places alcohol abuse will take you, and then, finally, despair: thinking maybe this is it, this is how it is going to end, what the hell happened to me, I'm going to drink myself to death, and I can't stop it. I can remember thinking how embarrassing it would be to have people at my funeral whispering "he died from cirrohsis".
I actually found this site while surfing medical sites looking for the symptoms of cirrohsis, pancreatitis and seizures all of which I was convinced I was headed for.
I got RJ's book the next day and, like a trusting child, followed it step for step; I got the All in One, got a seven day pill box for the supplements, listened to the CDs every night, confessed to my doctor, who had no idea I was a drinker, did the Topa for twelve weeks, and didn't drink. I put forever out of my head.
I feel as though I was walking around all those years with the proverbial screw loose in my head and somehow MWO tightened it up and I'm alright now, as long as I don't drink.
Just don't drink. How could something so simple have been so hard, even impossible.
I am no longer a drinker. I just don't drink alcohol anymore. I don't even ever really think about it, even when I'm surrounded by the stuff.
There is real laughter in my house now. My self-confidence is back, my dormant plans and dreams have been re-energized and my future looks as bright as a baby's smile. I have come to understand that, for me, this journey has become more than just being sober, its about becoming the real me - a good, healthy, inspired, giving person.
I write tonight because this program gave me so much without asking for anything in return. I would like to give back hope. Perhaps someone out there is now where I was and will see a small flicker of hope that it is possible to stop drinking. I remember I wanted so desperately to stop drinking and just couldn't. That was nine and a half months ago. I joined MWO in March 2007 and alcohol last passed my lips on April 8, 2007.
While it is not possible to turn back time or undue that which is done, I have forgiven myself and started to learn to love and respect myself. Regrets live on but are fading as I feel I have been given a second chance at life, which is almost as good as turning back time.
I also have been on a break from MWO. This program has given me a brand new set of wings and I have been leaving the nest, learning to fly.
For me, MWO represented a chance and a hope there was an alternative to being told I was powerless over alcohol and meetings without end. When I first came here I had dwelt in all the dark places alcohol abuse will take you, and then, finally, despair: thinking maybe this is it, this is how it is going to end, what the hell happened to me, I'm going to drink myself to death, and I can't stop it. I can remember thinking how embarrassing it would be to have people at my funeral whispering "he died from cirrohsis".
I actually found this site while surfing medical sites looking for the symptoms of cirrohsis, pancreatitis and seizures all of which I was convinced I was headed for.
I got RJ's book the next day and, like a trusting child, followed it step for step; I got the All in One, got a seven day pill box for the supplements, listened to the CDs every night, confessed to my doctor, who had no idea I was a drinker, did the Topa for twelve weeks, and didn't drink. I put forever out of my head.
I feel as though I was walking around all those years with the proverbial screw loose in my head and somehow MWO tightened it up and I'm alright now, as long as I don't drink.
Just don't drink. How could something so simple have been so hard, even impossible.
I am no longer a drinker. I just don't drink alcohol anymore. I don't even ever really think about it, even when I'm surrounded by the stuff.
There is real laughter in my house now. My self-confidence is back, my dormant plans and dreams have been re-energized and my future looks as bright as a baby's smile. I have come to understand that, for me, this journey has become more than just being sober, its about becoming the real me - a good, healthy, inspired, giving person.
I write tonight because this program gave me so much without asking for anything in return. I would like to give back hope. Perhaps someone out there is now where I was and will see a small flicker of hope that it is possible to stop drinking. I remember I wanted so desperately to stop drinking and just couldn't. That was nine and a half months ago. I joined MWO in March 2007 and alcohol last passed my lips on April 8, 2007.
While it is not possible to turn back time or undue that which is done, I have forgiven myself and started to learn to love and respect myself. Regrets live on but are fading as I feel I have been given a second chance at life, which is almost as good as turning back time.
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