I don't understand

[Punkin]

Every day for a week, I have sworn that day will be the first day of my AF new life and every day I fail. I was AF for 6 mos. last year, but didn't make it. Not that this is a good excuse, but my husband is in early stages of Alz. and he drinks, but not to excess and often I drink to escape my sorrow and frustration in dealing with his disease.

Any thoughts on how to get at least day one started?

[keeta]

I don't understand

Hey punkin,
I am sorry you are having a hard time dealing with your husband, and what must be an awful disease to witness in someone you love.
WOW, you accomplished 6 months. How incredible. Can you draw from that success to find the strength to make today AF?
Start a thread, and post each hour until bed time...how you are feeling, etc, and draw strength from the support I know you will find here?
I am on day 1 also, so sobriety for me is also elusive, but I wish you all the best. We can do this....hang in, and keep posting.
Much love and hugs,
K

[lilnev]

I don't understand

If you only plan to "not drink", you're creating a void. Something has to fill that void, and your default is, well, drinking. Try to make specific plans for what you're going to do instead. Then all you have to do is act out those plans, are pretty soon it'll be bedtime.

peace,
lilnev

[dexterhead]

I don't understand

Punkin,I am so so sorry about your hubby. Are you seeing a counselor/therapist of any sort to help you figure some things out regarding your own mental health ?

[Not Happy Hour-Happy Life]

I don't understand

Welcome, Punkin. Congrats on the 6 months of sobriety- that is pretty inspiring! I'm sorry to hear about your husband's Alz, and please forgive for my ignorance about the disease- with him at the early stages, are there mood swings to contend with? Would it be best for him not to drink, and if so, can you just get rid of it?

It sounds so easy on this side of the screen to type, "throw it out", but I don't know if that's practical advice. At least if it's out of the house, it would make it harder for you to escape down that route.

Stay close by, and see what we are about. If you'd like to share, I'm willing to listen.

:heart:

[mojomuppet]

I don't understand

i agree that you need something to fill the void. this is what helps me. order cataloges off of the internet. i get tons of them in the mail everyweek. flowers, furniture, crafts. it doesnt really matter. then you have something to do with your hands. then you may find something you would like to grow, build, or make. i am right now planning my garden for the spring, planning the building of a chicken coop, and learning to crochet. do not laugh at me. when i started here i could not even leave my house. i also look on cooking websites and plan to make anything i have never eaten before or improving something i already love to make. right now i am tearing up sheets to make a rag rug. i am also refinishing a hardwood floor and getting ready to paint a room. sounds like alot right? here is the point. i get bored very easy. this comes from being smart. notice the people that visit this site? no dummies here. therefore if one thing bores you move on to the next one. it may take me a year to get them all done...who cares it keeps me busy. if i die with 400 projects started and one finished so be it. it keeps me out of the booze almost always. tonight google free cataloges and it will take you almost all night. good luck!

[Prest4time]

I don't understand

mojo,

That is awesome advice! I love it.

P4T
(who knew crocheting was so much fun!)

[RubyRoo]

I don't understand

Mojomuppet,
Fabulous advice. You’ve inspired me to buy a crocheting kit and to try a million other things in an effort to find my niche.

Punkin,
I'm very sorry to hear about your hubby. Please know that my heart is with you.

[mycatsmom]

I don't understand

A note to Punkin,
Altho I am not in your exact situation I share a similar situation which is daily and has me thinking that I used to be a person who lived in a world where terrible things only happened to other people - never to me. Now I am one of those "other people" things happened to. I am not in therapy but it would probably be a good idea however I would sure have to find the right therapist, not some "well meaning" therapist who tells me to quit my job. Everyday - 7 days a week - I spend all day with the man I have worked with for 12 years and known for 25 years. He is my dearest, closest friend - more than family. He was very successful and healthy and then suddenly he had a surfing accident in 2006 and became a quadriplegic. He is in horrible pain every day and is paralyzed and can't do one thing for himself except he recently was able to scratch his nose. He is also very VERY sad and hates what has happened to his life. As I am his personal assistant I also had to take control of his entire life after the accident. No one else was willing or able to help him out. Friends, family have disappeared. Sadly, many people don't want to be around a quadriplegic - it scares them. I imagine there are similar things happening with Alz and in your life. I drank a lot and took meds and wound up in two detox's after the accident - the stress was over the top and unrelentling. I realized in order to help my friend out and myself I had to give up the one pleasurable thing I had in my life - to drink myself to passing out each and every night. So I got help and quit drinking. I don't drink anymore but I can't say the quadriplegic situation is any easier. It is a VERY tough situation. Your situation also - a very tough one, yes? If your drinking is not too over the top, why quit if it helps? One thing I look back on in my drinking days is how badly I felt about drinking. I wish I could do that one over again - and not feel bad about drinking. But for me it seemed to go hand in hand. You are living daily in a MAJOR life challenge (your husband's disease) that medical science has not figured out yet how to cure. You deserve an enormous amount of credit and support for just your being there for him. Truly. God bless.

[MyHeartIsDrenchedInWine]

I don't understand

Hi Friend,


My husband comes and goes with bipolar disorder. I never know who is going to be walking into the door at the end of the day. I KNOW this has added to the stress that has caused me to drink.



Be strong...you are not alone!!!!!




Loveya,




Myheart