WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!!!!!!!!!!!

[meditation mama]

I am really dumbfounded right now.. and a bit scared. I have been reading posts and talking to a lot of people over the past few weeks, and it is really scary how many of us are having craving, even some of the most senior members. We have seen some of our dearest fall the past few weeks, and I have to say, I am really feeling very helpless...

I actually do believe in a lot of the Universal things that are going on right now, Mars in Retrograde (it is a combative, and a bit self-destructive), and this full moon (and it is a BIGGIE), which falls in this retrograde, which heightens the pull.. but, these things are going to happen for the rest of our lives.. we have to work through this kind of stuff and the stuff in our own lives.

So, I am thinking that maybe we should take a moment to write a quick, short paragrah on why we are here.. either AF or MODS. We have been very supportive of one another, but sometimes I think we lose track of why WE, OURSELVES, are here...

I hope I am not sounding harsh, I just want everyone to have a successful 2008, all the things we all talked about only 2 1/2 short weeks ago...

What do you think?

Namaste, my friends.

MM

[meditation mama]

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!!!!!!!!!!!

I'll start...

My goal for 2008 is to be AF, now and for the rest of my life. I have battled this for long enough. I have had enough sober days over the past year to know how wonderful I feel when alcohol is not running my life. I am happy and at peace. I am productive and successful. I am open to others, I can give love and also receive. I can exercise and my body looks good. I smile. I dance in the kitchen. I am a good mother. I love myself. All of these things and more I am without alcohol. This is what I am - my true self.. I want to be free...

My truth.

MM

[wonderworld]

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!!!!!!!!!!!

I am here because I do not want to drink. I am here because I know right down to the very core of my very soul, in every cell, that I am allergic to alcohol. When I drink, my whole outlook on myself and my life goes to hell. When I drink nothing changes and nothing good happens. When I drink I gain weight. When I drink I take the risk of embarassing or hurting myself every time. When I drink I hate myself in the morning. When I drink I feel like a derelict. When I drink I don't take care of my repsonsibilities. When I drink I get depressed. When I drink I don't respect myself. When I drink I make very bad choices. When I drink I choose numbness over life. When I drink I lose the connection to my spirit. When I drink I feel hopeless. When I drink I don't want to be around people. When I drink I put alcohol before everything I care about.

I could go on, but I guess that's a paragraph's worth. As you can see, mods are not in my realm of possibility! Alcohol is the one area where I have no grey. I was delivered to the cabbage patch pre-pickled .

Thanks for the boost MM-
Wonder xx

[Prest4time]

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!!!!!!!!!!!

MM,

I agree we need a plan, and for each of us that varies so much.

I do know for a fact that the full moon has a huge effect on me. It is not a "superstitious" thing, its a proven medical fact. Just ask any OBGYN doc! And with my opinion thrown in, I think it affects women more than men. I have to be careful around a full moon.... because it acts much like PMS, and makes me very emotional... crying is a guaranteed. argghh

P4T

[tlrgs]

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!!!!!!!!!!!

hi there mm... i have seen alot of us AA poeple. go under and try to swim back up.and they all come back and try it again again..they say its is part of life.but in my life am here for one reason to learn and try to give some back..and hey i just put a new post check it out let me know what you think......thanks and have faith .....

[Guest]

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!!!!!!!!!!!

I am here for a wealth of reasons,least not that drink will cause me to die prematurely if I am fool enough to let it.........yes, it`s that serious........that deadly.

I AM AF FOR LIFE NOW..........NO IFS, ANDS OR BUTS!!!!

Starlight Impress x

[Not Happy Hour-Happy Life]

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!!!!!!!!!!!

MM, this post relieved me- I'm over here crabbing at my kids and CRAVING. I need to go out and howl at the moon, or I'll be cracking a blue moon open, with a twist of orange, soon! Anyway, I'm here to figure out whether I should stay AF or if I can moderate. I scared myself straight, and now, I've been AF since Nov 29th. I gain strength from everyone's joys and struggles, and it helps me focus upon my behavior. :h

[MyHeartIsDrenchedInWine]

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm here because it's the least I can do. Sometimes I feel like a total failure but atleast I'm doing something. This sight has helped me bunches, you guys are awesome and nonjudgemental, which is priceless!

[lukalee]

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!!!!!!!!!!!

I am here because I want to break the cycle of my habits and behaviors. A lot of my drinking is based on habit, which turned into drinking no matter what I was doing. I don't know if I could ever go moderate; I know that this is something that I can NEVER try until I break my habits, which will take as long as I need---maybe forever.

Drinking also creates bad habits. One would be the way I date. I have been having an on again off again relationship for 15 months. I would not allow this if I weren't drinking. When I drink, I allow myself to be treated poorly.

I want more!!

[Bessie]

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!!!!!!!!!!!

I am here because I was trapped in a circle of excessive drinking habits that needed something more than just my willpower to break. I found this place. I have learnt so much about my habits and how to break out of the circle. I have learnt how much better I feel without drinking. I have learnt how wonderfully supportive and kind a group of 'strangers' can be. I am still here because it is not easy but I am determined and will be here for as long as it takes.

I have never really considered the full moon effect but .... boy .....I achieved an advanced level of incompetence with everything I did yesterday!! :H Maybe that's an explanation

Bessie xx

[Lizard]

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!!!!!!!!!!!

wonderworld;259518 wrote: When I drink I lose the connection to my spirit

I love this, it's so true of me too.

I just want to not be a slave to alcohol.

[Elizabeth]

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!!!!!!!!!!!

Wow... that explains a lot

Yesterday was a nighmare. Mac dies with new filming project downloads, mobile phone died. Weird. Anyway survived. Admittedly had 5 cigs (after 5 days of none), but no booze at all. Friends came to my rescue and we got everything working again. What a day though!

I'm AF for now til I can figure things out. Mininum a month but happy to try a year or longer. I want to be clear headed to reach my full potential during the remainder of my life, to the benefit of myself and others my path is designed to meet.

[Finding My Self]

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!!!!!!!!!!!

MM - I just wanted to add my 'support' and thanks for a great thread....I will be back later on it as I think you've hit a big nail on its head! ....first and formeost to remember why each one of us is here for ourselves.... which, of course, changes and grows all the time if we are truly moving on...

It's a great thread...thanks! Got me thinking!

See you later!
Finding My Self xx - which I am going to write out in full for a bit coz that's one of my purposes of being here - the necessary main one really! - and no point in abbreviating it and forgetting it...just as you have said in your title, MM!!)

[RavenGirl]

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!!!!!!!!!!!

My reason

Hi ya'll...

My reason for being here is because I don't have any other hope. My last beer binge was a week ago today, and I felt so incredibly bad afterwards. I really think for me that ABS is the only option.

Even though I'm not totally "on" the program yet, the changes that I have made in the last week have been so dumbfounding! I just can't believe how much more energy I have now, and how much more clear my mind is. It's wonderful!:happy: Just by reading the book and taking what supplements I can afford right now, I have a renewed hope for the future. Being able to come here and talk to you guys is incredibly comforting too.

Having said that, I know what MM means about the intense cravings. Haven't had hardly any all week until this morning, and there they are lurking in the shadows waiting to pounce on me. Where did they come from?! So I know that I HAVE to be here whenever possible to connect with others in the same struggle. Each day...one day...only today. There's no way in hell I can think about never drinking again, or even staying sober for a couple of months. But I CAN do it today...just today.

Thanks guys! This is an inspiring thread. Can't wait to read more.

Raven

PS...Maybe "RavenGirl" is the perfect name for me 'cause I really like full moons. I actually feel better when old man moon is shining.

[satori]

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm here because I want to live and fully experience every moment of the rest of my life for "real" - to my full potential.

I no longer wish to be controlled by this addiction.

Like Wonder, I too lose the connection to my spirit when I drink!

Love

Satori

xxx