Sharp Retort Required..... please

[tea]

Hi all,

Great to get back on-line, have missed you all greatly. Am having a bad time at work just now, workload enormous, colleagues bitching etc etc. One thing/person is really bugging me, we used to be sort of work mate close, you know, going for lunch, arranging to meet first for work nights out (of which there are quite a few), anyway, since I have decided to be completely AF (to lose weight of course... ahem) this person has been so snidey, making comments like 'oh but I HAVE a life', oh 'some people live for their work' (Yes I have been working overtime to get through the load, and yes, between us, to while away some hours that I am finding incredibly difficult not to drink in), anyway, am asking for short sharp shock tactics, just a really good one liner to shut her up!!!!! She is (as I have just recently noticed) an obnoxious and quite nasty drunk, I didn't realise that others kept their distance until I socialised without drinking, also can be quite domineering if not getting her own way in the office, ie, someone having annual leave that doesn't suit her etc etc etc, she is not senior so no probs with getting down and dirty. Grrrrr

[lukalee]

Sharp Retort Required..... please

Is her butt big like mine? You can make a comment about how she may want to try some AF days too since she is looking a little round.

Say, "I have a life too, how about you stick to yours, and I'll stick to mine." OR my fave..

"F%$k off Bi@#h and leave me alone!!!!!"

[BELIEVE]

Sharp Retort Required..... please

Yeah STFU comes to mind.

Or you could just ignore her. Be like "Whatever f*kn drunk-ass ho...thats why no one hangs out with your ass".

[Not Happy Hour-Happy Life]

Sharp Retort Required..... please

Tea- here's a few. This was fun to do, because I can get rid of all of my bitchiness for the weekend! Do you need more? By the way, the b*tch's name is changed to Greta to protect the innocent.... well, no one is REALLY innocent, but....

"Greta, wait a second. YOU "have a life"? Where's that dear, at Waldo's Pub? That's right, they just re-named it after you, I forgot."

"You have a life? Is that what you call it?"

"No, Greta, I don't "live for my work". But I don't live to be snookered everynight either".

"Whats wrong with good hard work, Greta? I admit it! I'm a closet WORKAHOLIC!"

"I wouldn't expect you to work late, Greta! Then you couldn't spend all night getting plastered."

"Greta, just because you don't drag me to the pub everynight doesn't mean "I don't like you anymore". I've always been the one to "like you" when you are obnoxiously drunk".

"Greta, do me a favor. The next time you want to bitch at me for working too hard, can you make sure the boss is around? Reviews are coming up and I want a raise".

or, my favorite one that I used when I was growing up....
"I KNOW YOU ARE, BUT WHAT AM I???"

[tea]

Sharp Retort Required..... please

Love it, exactly what I'm looking for, giggle.

Lx

[Not Happy Hour-Happy Life]

Sharp Retort Required..... please

BELIEVE;261522 wrote: Yeah STFU comes to mind.

Or you could just ignore her. Be like "Whatever f*kn drunk-ass ho...thats why no one hangs out with your ass".

Miss Believable.... I had to stare and think, STFU.... I'm thinking Florida University, or F-You.... but you mean:
SHUT THE F*CK UP?????
That's eloquent!~~ I LOVE it. :H Even typing it makes be feel better.

[BELIEVE]

Sharp Retort Required..... please

I forgot to mention...make sure you're successful in losing that weight (no offense, you said thats why you're af and thats my reason too).
When spring/summer rolls around, your new & improved phsyique will speak volumes on your behalf, and there won't be a damn thing anyone can say back

[meditation mama]

Sharp Retort Required..... please

Many times when people start saying those things it is because you are hitting on a personal chord. Meaning, you are doing something good for yourself and it is like a mirror for her and she may not like what she is seeing. If you have drank with her in the past, sounds like she is a drinker. Maybe your not drinking is making her look at her own drinking. If she is nasty when she drinks, chances are she may either have a drinking problem of her own, or she has some emotional stuff that wants to come up and comes out when she drinks. Domineering people generally don't like to look at their own shit.. It is much easier to try to fix and push other peoples lives around than to fix their own.

My suggestion, and you probably won't like it, is to have compassion for her. You don't have to openly have it, but when we have compassion for another person it is hard to hate them. Just mentally wish her well. This is about you being happy, so if you are not carrying around those resentments then it really doesn't matter what she does, right?

If this doesn't work... put gum on her chair.

xoxoxo

MM

[Not Happy Hour-Happy Life]

Sharp Retort Required..... please

MM.... okay, you are right. We are supposed to be grown ups.... but it was SO fun to pretend to even the score.... WAIT! Who's scoring? What are the rules for the scorecard? Are you saying we should rise above it, and be the better person? whispering, Damnit.

Once again, you are teaching the "Namaste" stuff, aren't you? No wonder you are a kind, wise, soul.:heart:

OKAY, Miss Tea, I have to revise my post: Do way Meditation Mama says. Until that ONE day, when she just WON'T get off your back- zing away! :H

Much love,

[meditation mama]

Sharp Retort Required..... please

Patty.. Yeah... but I actually printed your list out!!! :H

[tea]

Sharp Retort Required..... please

Ha ha ha, yeees I KNOW I should just 'smile' or 'shake my head sadly' but just ONE smart arse (ass) retort I think would put a stop to it. I really must be annoying her though as she has begun to get quite personal ie 'oh well I suppose if I didn't have children my work would come first too' which with my background (which I won't go into) really is hitting below the belt. I would see some of what she was gettin at if we were competing with each other but we aren't, neither of us have high flying jobs just ordinary run of the mill seccy/admin work, we are both late 40's and I honestly feel like saying that if 'my work' was so important I wouldn't be doing THIS job surely, but don't feel I can without disrespecting my other colleagues, we have all rubbed along nicely for years.

[meditation mama]

Sharp Retort Required..... please

Then just tell her to sit her fat ass down and shut up!!:H :H :H

[tea]

Sharp Retort Required..... please

Hmm, re reading my post perhaps it is HER that is hitting a chord with me.... Never mind, staying sober is more important to me right now than madly socialising and I admit I do and have stayed late at work for more than work reasons (ie, local shop/off licence closes at 6.30pm so try to be too late to call in on some pretence or needing something only to find myself with bottle at the checkout) so maybe it is me being sensitive, still want to (quote the gorgeous simeybear) ICE THE B-TCH !!

Lxx

[BELIEVE]

Sharp Retort Required..... please

meditation mama;261539 wrote: Then just tell her to sit her fat ass down and shut up!!:H :H :H

LMAO I would second that notion!

[Not Happy Hour-Happy Life]

Sharp Retort Required..... please

(Meditation Mama, please don't catch me!!!)
So she says: 'oh well I suppose if I didn't have children my work would come first too.'

You say: "Who are you trying to fool? Are you saying that this job would come first if you didn't have kids? So you are rushing home at 1700 to make dinner?"