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    #16
    Just wondered if..

    I'm probably 'projecting' from my experience but is there something to do with the same as Flip's suggested.....? My ex said he really really wanted me to quit but (a) there were hidden agendas around him and drink I think from the past (he doesn't drink much now at all - rarely...but) (b) he wanted me to be the way he wanted me to be, not the way I am....he thought just not drinking would turn me into an angel! No..I'm still human!!....my opinions differ from his lots of times! (c) my drinking gave him a handle to 'teach me what I needed to learn'.....made him 'useful' and 'the counsellor he has always thought he was'..... (a generous hearted rescuer is never actually that helpful though!)

    Perhaps your hubby has something similar going on in his mind?

    But I cannot imagine what it must be like to be stuck in the house with such little freedom....the way of the UAE (of course!) but the getting out and about was the thing that has helped me most... Are there any other 'ex-pats' around you can meet with? Get something going with - hobbies, clubs etc? I filled my days with those and there wasn't any room for the bottle!

    Thinking of you lots - thank goodness you've found here!!

    Love FMS xx
    :heart: c: :heart:
    "Be patient and gentle with yourself - the magic is in you."

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      #17
      Just wondered if..

      I really don't know flip as he doesnt seem to get anything out of it, no extra control etc. Its a mystery to me too

      Lx

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        #18
        Just wondered if..

        Morning FMS

        I think that there is a lot of what you mentioned going on with him too. He is a really great man though, we have been together 20 years I used to think he didnt want me to stop because I wouldnt need him anymore but I dont think thats the case now.

        Yes there are a lot of other expats here but it is no different from army life all revolves around drink, well the ones I met anyway, in fact most of them drink the same if not more than me they just dont see it as a problem. I am sure that there are those here that dont but I only seem to meet those that do ....very odd!! Unfortunately having worked all my life I find it so difficult to go out and do the beauty salons, coffee mornings etc, I'm not really a "people person" more of a laptop person.

        Funnily enough my doctor asked me yesterday if he could pass my number onto a guy who has recently just been in a coma through drink, (they really dont know how to handle it over here) I said yes but it would be the blind leading the blind and DH wasnt that keen as he saw it ending up as another drinking partner. I would love to help him as he is in danger of loosing his very high paid executive position, and what goes along with that in this country does not bear thinking about. Maybe I should just point him in this direction.

        Lx

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