The pain is "manageable" which is great.
On a much more serious note, I want to thank everyone who has supported me in my efforts to become a functional human being instead of a functional drunk. This site is fantastic (thank you RJ!) and the people here have been so supportive in my efforts. My wife now talks to me about my drinking, about how happy she is I have taken this step, and how proud she is that I can do this. I can't begin to list everyone who has spent time in chat, or on PM's with me, giving me support and encouragement, so I am not going to try! Rest assured, I thank everyone and love you all.
Will I "make it?" Will I ever be able to control AL instead of having AL control me? I certainly don't know yet, each day is new. But I can tell you that I am able to not drink, I am able to turn down an offer, without ...guilt....pity...remorse... or any of those other feelings of less than self worth. I am learning who I am, what makes me "me" and how I can better myself. It will be a long journey...I have many years of mistakes to overcome.
I have taken the time to read some of the life stories many of you have posted here, my hat is off to you for having the courage to post the stories, because I know you first had to bring all of those issues out in front and look at them very hard. I cannot do that yet, I am still trying to piece together my current existance and my path forward.
So, that is my Monday Morning post, again a big thanks to all for the wonderful support.
And no, this is not a "goodby" statement, just some things I wanted to say!
I almost forgot! Day 20 today!
BHOG
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