Almost 4 Months and Cured?

[Ripple]

Hubby thinks since its almost 4 months AF I should be alright? He wants me to withdraw divorce proceedings, complete bankruptcy on another business and get a job? I have been ordered to reduce eating, stop gaining weight, & stay away from people he doesn't like? He came to meeting to see what it is about and acted like an arrogant prick and said you have no feelings for me, did you listen to the stories? He thinks this is all about him. I am concerned about all these duties plus his behavior as too much for me. What would you all do in this case?

Ripple~
being controlled again.
:thanks:

[Breez]

Almost 4 Months and Cured?

I have read this numerous times in various articles, books etc. that when someone first starts their journey to sobriety that they need to avoid life altering decisions for a year. For example: avoid getting a new job, moving, dating etc. These are all things that may be triggers to drink again.

I truly believe that. I started nursing school being only 2 months sober and I had to quit because it made me take a drink because of the stress. I started a new job after 8 months and again-hated the people and wanted to drink, so I quit that job. Sobriety is the most important thing for me. A happy breez makes the whole Breez household happy.

You come first. Only you know what is right for you. Feed off of that. Congrats on the 4 months and never let anyone or anything take away what you feel is important to you. You have one chance at this life and don't let anyone live it for you. Sobriety is a time to be selfish and think of only yourself. You deserve the best-remember that!

[Suzanna]

Almost 4 Months and Cured?

You are doing so well, Ripple, gaining strength and feeling good. Now he wants to put you back under this control, what exactly is he bringing to the table?? You have needs too. You deserve to have them met. I agree with Breeze, make no major decisions now. Congratulations on 4 months, that is so huge and a major accomplishment. :h

[YoungAtHeart]

Almost 4 Months and Cured?

I agree with Suzanna and Breez here, Ripple, but I am also wondering, WHAT DO YOU WANT?? You end you post with, "being controlled again", and mention that your hubby was an arrogant prick during the meeting. Is this what you want? Just curious.

Four months of sobriety is great, yet it is just the beginning of your sober life. Treat it like the precious gem that it is.

Hugs,:l
Kathy

[hart]

Almost 4 Months and Cured?

(((Ripple)))

What's in it for you?

[Cinders]

Almost 4 Months and Cured?

Ripple,

You must guard your sobriety. Do not let anyone, even a spouse, push you into stress or strife.

Please take care of yourself. You have done so wonderfully.

Cindi

[Ripple]

Almost 4 Months and Cured?

You are all so correct! Even the thought of getting a new pet the first year is discouraged. I really am unsure what to do, if hubbys behavior doesn't improve, which it probably won't i have some major decision making ahead. I told him NO more BOOZE in the house. That way he can stay away longer while doing it up.

He has used me as a victim long enough and I will not give in to the BOTTLE! No way, i will come here also to read words that help me stay focused.

You are all the best, even though some don't like my one eye avatar.

later....off to meeting.
:l
Ripple~

[Preciouspinot]

Almost 4 Months and Cured?

Ripple, sounds like someone is intimidated with your newly found strength. He may adjust, he may not. Right now it sounds like he is on unsure footing as you are becoming more sound in yours. I would "proceed with caution".

[Gumby]

Almost 4 Months and Cured?

If it doesn't feel right, if some internal voice is saying don't do it. Then listen to it.
Not him!!
I have found that that inner voice knows what it is doing. Listen.

You are probably asking this question because you think that your right, but you need reassurance. Go with what you know is right for you.

He is looking out for himself. It sounds like he is trying to knock yourself esteem down. Do men realize they are doing this , or...I don't know, anyway..... Give yourself time, you have worked hard to get where you are at. You deserve it. Good luck, stay positive!

[beatle]

Almost 4 Months and Cured?

I like your one-eye avatar.

Sorry, I have no advice to offer. Everyone else has been spot-on here, though. So listen up.

[Guest]

Almost 4 Months and Cured?

Ripple, stay strong in your belief. YOU KNOW WHAT YOU NEED TO DO!!!! It doesn't take 4 months for us to get this messed upo so it sure as hell isnt going away in 4 months. I am thinking more like 4 years.

[gabby]

Almost 4 Months and Cured?

Ripple
Yes, we are all the best! and.....
Yes, dont listen to your husband! and....
Yes, I like your avator!

hugs.....

[geordiegirl]

Almost 4 Months and Cured?

Hi Ripple
I dont know much about your situation, only what I have read in your post. It seems to me that if you are not sure, then you need more time apart to talk about the future and how you both see things going. Your husband sounds quite angry and hurt, and maybe he is expressing this in his controlling behavior. Maybe continue to take a step back from this situation to give yourself time to 'heal' and get some perspective on what you want from the future.

Take care
Geo

[Ripple]

Almost 4 Months and Cured?

Well i did what he wanted and that was withdraw the divorce thing. He would have had to pay for me to live somewhere a generous income and so forth and so on. I have lived too many years being yelled at and ordered around. I am fed up and will continue sobriety and win! Yes I will win...because he is getting really pissy of me being this way. I look good, have a positive attitude and tell him when he is insulting.

He came to meeting yesterday and then complained cocked to me it was a BIG CULT. He said "don't get me wrong" there were some quality people there, but to me its a cult?

Coming here is just another tool for me.

:l HUGS 2 ALL!

~Ripple~
:h

[planetjanet]

Almost 4 Months and Cured?

Dear Ripple,

Thank you so very much for posting your message. Oh my gosh, I am going through exactly what you are and this is just way too weird. I am at a lost for words, every single that you wrote is what I was crying :upset: to my best friend about 4 hours ago and the advice that these lovely people gave you is exactly the same thing my best friend gave me....if doesn't feel like love and he doesn't make you happy, then end it. My boyfriend(we been together for alittle over 2 years) is a splitting image of your husband's behavior and my heart goes out to you. It's hard to give advice to someone who is in the same boat as yourself, however, it can be a good thing because we can lean on each other. You sound strong and I agree with everyone as well, it's all about your sobriety and most importantly YOU! Congrats, on four months and again I agree, don't give that up for no one, it's not worth it.

I have been a member of MWO since August 2007 and since that time I have achieved being AF for 20 days (the longest being 90 days thru AA) but then I would fall off track for reasons that looking back now where just excuses to drink because I didn't believe in myself and still I am struggling but only now, not as much : ) I have once again started my AF Day Count and have reached Day 4 and I feel great. My boyfriend on the other hand, has an issue with drinking and still continues to drink. But you know what that's he problem and my heart goes out to for his struggles, however, it's no longer about him anymore, it's about ME! I have started running again and going back to the gym.....it's like I just keep telling myself to be strong Janet, do whatever you have to do and when the time is right, you make the decision on whether or not you want this person in your life. I need and will start to set limits with myself in dealing with this crazy making (no joke, he really is) person and being as we don't live together nor live in the same city (me, los angeles he, san diego), makes it all so much easier. A big hug for you to have to live in the same house and yet you set such an awesome example in not letting that trigger(your husband) to get you drink....YOU ROCK!!!

Ripple, thank you, thank you and thank you a gzillion times again for inspiring me and a BIG THANKS to all of you who gave such great advice, it was like you were giving it to me as well and I am ever so grateful. I LOVE THIS SITE AND I AM SO HAPPY THAT I KEEP COMING BACK! I just can't wait to share this with my best friend tomorrow.....I just can't wait!!! :H smiling :H

Okay, well it's time for me to head to bed but boy oh boy am I going to sleep soooooo good. Thanks again everyone and I look forward to hearing your stories. Ripple, keep me posted, it would be nice to hear how you are doing.

Big hugs & lots of love,
Janet :h
AF Day 4

P.S. Sorry for any typo, just was too excited