How to quit when your spouse won't?

[cd771]

I'm going to be starting topamax, again. I took it in late summer/early fall and was AF for a month and maybe some light drinking before that. I did very well but the holidays came and I started drinking again. This time more then ever. The problem is, my husband is a heavy drinker also and he does not seem to want to quit. He wants to go to bars and out to eat and other events that trigger my wanting to drink. I'm not blaming him for failing as I made the choice to drink but how do I quit while he still drinks? Anyone else have this issue? I do hope someday he will be ready too. He is not happy with his drinking and tries to make rules for himself but has not come to the place where he wants to quit completely like I do. Then again, I do not handle alcohol very well at all. He has his moments but for the most part does not get wasted like I do. I usually don't even remember most of the evening. Thanks for any help/advice you can give me.

[Ripple]

How to quit when your spouse won't?

omg...thats how I was, wasted easily while he kept going. My husband refuses to quit drinking and thats okay with me. It is very hard when your spouse can handle it and we cannot. Glad to read its just not me. At meeting some women are dealing with the same shit. If you really want to stop....let him go out without you for awhile, thats what I did in the beginning of my sobriety and I still like it when he goes away to do his thing. Its tough, but thats how I handle it.

:l
~Luv Ripple~

[tlrgs]

How to quit when your spouse won't?

hi there..cd good for you for trying .i agree with ripple.. just take it one day at a time..

[hart]

How to quit when your spouse won't?

(((CD)))

Yup, I'm with you. My husband won't admit he's an alcoholic but he drinks as much or more than me. And I drink a LOT when I drink. I have strung 3 AF days together, but then I give in. I have to start taking my med (Campral) regularly. Joe will ask if I want him to buy MY BEER, before he gets home. That is tempting me.

So I understand completely where u r coming from hon. We just have to want to do this for ourselves. :l

[trixietrack]

How to quit when your spouse won't?

my ex was always picking on me about being a wino. meanwhile he was unemployed because of the booze. he was coming home late because of the booze. got a dui and guess why.

still he kept saying that I had a big drinking problem, not him. then he would show up with cases of wine.
I had to let him go. not saying that's the answer, but for F#!@%#k sake it is really rough to try and cut down when you live with mr denial.

[livingfree]

How to quit when your spouse won't?

This is worth a try

My husband is a daily drinker, but most of the time stops at 3 or 4 - however I HATE having all that beer in the refrig. A funny thing has been happening however. I started playing my sleep learning cd in the bathroom (which is next to the bedroom) and the past few nights his drinking has all but non existed!! I don't know if it's that or if he is starting to feel guilty about tempting me, or maybe isn't liking drinking alone. I will update you if this trend continues. At first I was afraid to play the sleep learning because I was sure he would think I was going overboard in all of this program - but I decided that this is LIFE or DEATH for me. I truly have arrived at the point that I HAVE to do this and have to be honest about how drinking was killing me. So maybe try playing the tapes (sublim & sleep) when he is in the house!

But YOU must do this for you. It is our lives were talking about here.

Hang in there and don't give in to the F^@#!R AL.

[Ripple]

How to quit when your spouse won't?

Yes, they don't like drinking alone. Although I get tons of information when mine is tipping. Its just the late nights that are tough. I am doing less listening to a drunk hubby. He got bombed twice this week and is pretty miserable. I do not miss the panic button I had before, I can watch now and see him suffer, which is sad when there is a way out!

Luv you all~
Ripple~
:l

[soccermom]

How to quit when your spouse won't?

My husband is a daily drinker as well. He does not seem to struggle with it as much as I do, even though he drinks nightly.
He does not know about MWO. I am doing this for myself but it is difficult to be around alcohol every single freaking night.
I repeat what others have said-This is for us and if they want to continue, so be it.
Sorry I don't have more to add on this. Tough to have it in the house all the time.

[Lotus]

How to quit when your spouse won't?

Cd

My hubby drinks excessively everyday.

The times I have gone AF and asked him to join me and I have always got a sarcastic remark for it or he thinks I'm trying to change him. So basically I've given up on him joining me to be AF. You can't decide for someone else to not drink but you can for yourself and at times you have to put yourself first.

You know why you want to be AF so don't let the fact your hubby drinks demotivate you. I initally found that I had to avoid him whilst he was drinking as the temptation was to great. Then after a while I'd sit with him with a non alcoholic drink.

Just reinforce your reasons for not drinking and stick with them.

Mandy x

[Not Happy Hour-Happy Life]

How to quit when your spouse won't?

Ditto here, but my husband knows that I'm not drinking. I just posted on another thread- he used to bring his rum and coke to bed, and then I would crawl under the bed, gulp it down, and then stumble to the bathroom to pee (well, I didn't really crawl under the bed~ the wrapping paper is stored under it and it's too dusty... but I was almost that bad :H). Today, the MINUTE that I can tell that he's falling asleep in the family room, I'll wake him up and tell him to go to bed.... and he WILL dump his drink down the drain and go to bed, so that temptation is gone.

If you want to still have a drink in hand, some of the AF beers are tasty... so while he's drinking his cocktail, I'm drinking the unleaded stuff. And when we go out, I'm now considered the Designated Driver, which makes it easier for me to not be tempted.

Like others have said, I just have to worry about getting myself better. I have to set the example for my kids. There are no guarantees that my husband will stop drinking, too~ but that will have to be his choice, not mine. :l