Not having a good day today

[Lotus]

aaaaaargh I am so angry I can't stop crying!!!!

I got pulled in by my managers for a brief chat. I found out that next week I will be having a meeting regarding my "poor" work performance over the last few months. Apparently certain team members feel that I do not contribute as much as I could do and that I am not preparing reports in the correct format. I'm annoyed as I thought I was an approachable person but obviously I'm not. There are colleagues who feel uncomfortable giving me work as they feel that I do not accept it graciously or are worried about the quality of it when they will get it back. They even went to mention that they do not think it is fair that I leave early every day. I work flexi hours so get in early whereas others get in later, but I am still suppossed to stay late too!

I know AL has contributed to it - too busy nursing my hangover. I just feel that there are a whole load of little issues that could have been dealt with when they arised as oppossed to being "collected" over the past months. I just ended up in tears as I felt so stupid. My manager did say to look at it as a positive thing, that now I know where I am going wrong I can improve on it.

I just feel like I'm getting more grief being AF. I've got problems at home with hubby drinking everynight and today I've realised what I am thought of at work. Can it get any worse?

Thanks for letting me vent.

Mandy x

[Cinders]

Not having a good day today

Lotus,

I know this is a huge blow on top of everything else and I am so sorry.

However, like you said, you know some of it is definitely AL related, so staying AF is most important right now if you want to improve it.

Perhaps you could find a mentor at work, someone who is a peer but well-received by others, who would be willing to review your work to insure it is of the standards expected? This would accomplish two things. 1. Improve your work, especially where you don't currently know you are doing things incorrectly. 2. Open a dialog with someone "of the body" and give you some comraderie with someone there?

My company encourages mentoring, especially because we are all "virtual" entities, spread all over the world and alone.

Talk to your manager about it and see what she/he thinks. A good mentor can be a great asset and it will show you are truly interested in improving.

Meanwhile, pamper yourself girl. This is a definite ego downer for now BUT you can turn it around, especially since you are kicking AL in the butt!!

Love and best wishes,
Cindi

[Guest]

Not having a good day today

Lotus, I truly believe that these things are sent to try us. We all under-perform in so many different areas of our lives when drink is running our show........unfortunately, many of us can`t drink like fish and manage to be some sort of super woman into the bargain.

I do think it would have been more appropriate had other members of staff had a quiet word with you before things got to this stage. But, please try not to worry.........like your manager said........you can look on this meeting as a positive step forward to improve your work performance and remain AF to be the competent and deserving woman you know you truly are.

Much love,

Starlight Impress x

[wonderworld]

Not having a good day today

Hi Lotus - That's very hard to take. I once had a boss call me into her office and tell me that my co-workers said I smelled of alcohol. I have NEVER felt so small and ashamed in my life. In that split second I got shocked out of my denial, which was good for me in the long run. I knew they were right. But it was awful.

Sounds like your manager just wants to talk it out and help you get on track. But the anticipation of the meeting would be very hard for me. Take extra good care of yourself between now and then - you want to go into the meeting feeling as strong as possible.

And I agree with Cindi and Star, maybe this could be a new start for you at work - a chance to put the past behind and begin again.

Good luck and let us know Lotus -
ww xx

[Determinator]

Not having a good day today

Lotus, yes things can definitely be worse...if you are hungover. Sorry that the co-worker drama is rearing it's ugly head. I really don't like working with others so I work at home alone which is just fine with me. sorry I can't be more helpful. be well

[jane jane]

Not having a good day today

Lotus, I have not posted in a while, but your story was so poignant that I felt compelled to respond. First of all, a question: do you really have to work? If so, need it be in an office? If your income is indeed necessary, could it not be earned in any free-lance capacity, or entrepreneurial venture?

I have never worked for a corporation, and the stories I hear (many of them on this very board) sound like absolute HELL. You are surrounded by people who do not wish you well, who secretly rejoice when you exhibit any "weakness" for which they can pounce on you, who are all-too-delighted to carry tales to the bosses, whether it is about "alcohol breath" or "poor performance."

Do you HAVE to put up with it? Could you quit? Your boss' comment about this being "positive" sounds like pure managerial doublespeak to me...he/she has probably recorded the conversation, to make it seem as if he/she has been "fair," but unless you turn in EXEMPLARY work in the future, this can be used against you. "Well, I tried to mentor her in an encouraging way, but..." The corporate world seems so full of trickery, lies, disloyalty, and save-your-ass policies---complicated by nonsense-laws about "harassment"---that it's a wonder anyone can function within them.

My advice is, tell 'em to kiss your ass and find something else to do. If you are crying about it, it is BAD FOR YOU.

[dexterhead]

Not having a good day today

Hi Lotus, so sorry to hear about your work troubles. you are going thru a lot. I've had similar nerve-wracking things happen at jobs. sending hugs your way:l :l