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Confessions of an Antabuse User

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    #1

    Confessions of an Antabuse User

    Hi All,

    I hope everyone is doing well and moving closer to their goals.

    I have to get something off my chest. I use Antabuse. I am sure some are thinking "so what" or "yikes isn't that dangerous?" You see I have used it before with lots of success so this time around I decided to give it a go again. I have really been struggling with this decision. Why you ask? Well I do so envy all of you that can say "no". But you see sometimes I can, but many times I can't. I have really been questioning my commitment to being AF and asking myself "If you are so committed, why can't you do it without Antabuse?"

    I am hoping that my confession will not only ensure myself that I am committed to being AF and not just using Antabuse as a crutch. But, I am also hoping that my confession might help just one other person.

    I have read countless threads about "starting over, I have failed again, where are my supps, I wish these supps would work, I don't know if I am ready etc...etc... and I just wish I could reach out and give all those guys just one Antabuse pill so they can have 4-6 days of freedom.

    Freedom from the struggle, the nightly or daily battle of to drink or not to drink. This is what I could not overcome. It didn't always battle out in my head and thus on those nights I wouldn't drink. But you see, I never knew when it was going to roar it's angry head.

    It doesn't really help with physical triggers, but then who knows how much is physical and mental. I just don't get the crazy, jump out of my skin feels when I take this. I just know i can't drink. Trust me, I tried. It is quite motivating.

    Anyway, I just wanted to confess so that if anyone was thinking about it, they could ask someone about their experience. I wanted to confess so that I can reasure myself that "Yes I am committed since I don't even give myself a chance to drink." I know I am ready to do this, to be AF and using Antabuse is my way of committing.

    There are tons of side roads to this topic, so please feel free to ask.

    Whew! Done. I feel better.

    -GTC
    "If you want to change, then change." -Blonde Chic from LOST
    Tags: None
    #2
    Confessions of an Antabuse User

    I think using antabuse is a committment to sobriety-- ok, yes a crutch, too, but isn't that what we all are looking for? Nobody should ever think quitting and staying sober is all about will power-- there is so much more to it, as we all know. So, if you can take a tiny pill and know you won't drink, that's great.

    I have been trying to get antabuse for a long time and think my doctor is leaning towards prescribing it soon. So thank you for your post.

    One more thing-- what kind of side effects are there from antabuse?
    Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life... And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

    Steve Jobs, Stanford Commencement Adress, 2005

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      #3
      Confessions of an Antabuse User

      I got it from riverpharmacy.com. It was pretty cheap. I got it from my doc in the states, but really don't want to confess to another doc about my problem.

      I have no sideeffects from taking it in general. Not tired, can take it on a full or empty stomach. The only effects come from if i have tried to drink too soon on it. I will be honest and say that i don't always take it. I have weak moments too.

      If it hasn't had a chance to get out of my system completely, my face turns read and my pulse beats so hard I feel like my head will explode. i get woosey, extremely irratable, sleepy and will puke my gutts up. This is 3-4 days after taking it so you can only imagine how bad it is on the same day or 1-2 days after.

      I usually take it every three days and know that this will keep me off the booze.

      -GTC
      "If you want to change, then change." -Blonde Chic from LOST

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        #4
        Confessions of an Antabuse User

        I agree with Beatle: whatever works for you. I think Antabuse must be a great help in social situations when you're offered booze and it's all around but you KNOW you can't drink, so it's just not an option.

        I asked my doctor about it and he said no, point blank. I'd certainly like to have it available sometimes - I'm going on a group holiday soon and I'm concerned about how I'm going to deal with the boozy evenings.

        So, you said you took it before and it worked. Can you only take it for a certain length of time or did you stop taking it for other reasons?
        sigpic
        AF since December 22nd 2008
        Real change is difficult, and slow, and messy - Oliver Burkeman

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          #5
          Confessions of an Antabuse User

          Marshy,

          Did you doctor say why he refused to give it to you? I have done lots of research on long-term effects and possible effects that might be detrimental, but can't find too many.

          You can take it for however long you like i guess. One pill depending on the mg will last different lengths of time in different people. I am sure it depends on the person's weight, height etc.

          I take it as a way to be AF though not just for certain situations. I wouldn't recommend it for that, but then this isn't really my goal.

          Hope that helps.

          -GTC
          "If you want to change, then change." -Blonde Chic from LOST

          Comment

            #6
            Confessions of an Antabuse User

            Long story with my doc! He doesn't think medication is the way to go with alcohol problems - he recommends counselling as a starting point.

            I'm trying to be AF too and doing OK at the moment, but find it very difficult sometimes (eg parties etc) and would like a "psychological crutch" to get through those times.

            I'm glad it's working for you.
            sigpic
            AF since December 22nd 2008
            Real change is difficult, and slow, and messy - Oliver Burkeman

            Comment

              #7
              Confessions of an Antabuse User

              I don't think of Antabuse as a crutch; I think of it as a tool. I am now on a maintenance dose of topamax (100 mg/day), and this works for me. I have an Rx for Antabuse, and I'd use it if I thought it was necessary for me.

              I think that some docs don't like to prescribe it because it can be deadly if you drink when you're on it (not usually of course).

              It's great that your doc recommends counseling, Marshy, but s/he is missing the boat in not realizing that counseling usually isn't ENOUGH, particularly at first.
              Anyway, GTC, thanks for putting this out there, but I don't think you need to think that you are cheating or using a crutch. It takes what it takes, and you are obviously committed to staying AF, or you wouldn't be using the stuff!

              :goodjob:

              :l :l
              AF as of August 5th, 2012

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                #8
                Confessions of an Antabuse User

                I say whatever it takes to overcome. you found what it takes for you to stay AF.
                this isn't a simple struggle with simple solutions.
                congrats on being open and honest. that is what makes MWO agreat place to come and get and give support as well as a place for teaching and learning.
                You can't turn a pickle into a cucumber

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                  #9
                  Confessions of an Antabuse User

                  Simply put: If it works for you, GREAT!
                  Be strong!
                  BHOG
                  War isn't working. Let's try Peace!

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                    #10
                    Confessions of an Antabuse User

                    I have been convinced for a long time that antabuse is what I need. I am happy to hear about the good results for you, GTC. I do not understand why doctors are so reluctant to prescribe this. If there are no side effects, especially.

                    I am going to push for it. I am doing ok -- with lots of effort -- to keep away from alcohol, but I just don't want to be scared all the time that I will break down. Why the hell doesn't everyone who wants it get antabuse? I don't understand. Are we all supposed to go through some pre-ordained ritualistic hell that non-drinking "professionals" have decided on? And, in my case, I've already been through that hell. many times.
                    Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life... And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

                    Steve Jobs, Stanford Commencement Adress, 2005

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Confessions of an Antabuse User

                      Yes Beatle I know that many an AF night was saved by my using Antabuse. Even tonight. I wouldn't mind a drink, but since I took it yesterday, it will take at least 3 or 4 more days till I could safely drink again. Usually I convince myself to take another pill in the mornings(when there really isn't a disire to drink at all) so I haven't really been able to hit the 3rd or 4th day in a while.

                      I am not promoting this website but I ordered mine from riverpharmacy.com. It was pretty cheap and got here quick.

                      Good luck!

                      -GTC
                      "If you want to change, then change." -Blonde Chic from LOST

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Confessions of an Antabuse User

                        I think a lot of doctors are reluctant to prescribe antabuse because if you drink while taking it, it can make you seriously ill.
                        You can't turn a pickle into a cucumber

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                          #13
                          Confessions of an Antabuse User

                          Yes. It can, but that's kinda the point. The knowing that you will get violently ill is the motivating factor not to drink. At least it motivates me. LOL

                          -GTC
                          "If you want to change, then change." -Blonde Chic from LOST

                          Comment

                            #14
                            Confessions of an Antabuse User

                            I first started taking Antabuse (disulfiram) back in June when I first gave up drink and it was the only thing that would stop me from drinking at that time. It does act as a very strong deterrent, I think anyway, especially reading the side effects if you do choose to drink while taking them. From reading your post as well GTC I gather you have had first hand knowledge of this!!The thought of being violently ill for what could last up to 48 hours was definitely enough to put me off from slipping away to the pub during the weekly food shop with the then partner in tow looking for me!!! I've even said to my GP he could be simply slipping me a placebo and I wouldn't know any different but it's that fear that stops me from picking up a drink. Of course I don't want to be on the things forever as I don't want to live in fear for the rest of my life but at the moment taking them in invaluable to my 'recovery' (AA terminology I know but I can't think of a better word at this moment in time).

                            Love and Happiness
                            Hippie
                            xx
                            "Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children." Kahlil Gibran
                            Clean and sober 25th January 2009

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                              #15
                              Confessions of an Antabuse User

                              Thanks Hippie. That's exactly what I need-- the immediate fear. When I was pregnant I didn't drink (because of the responsibility, and yes, the fear of having a deformed child). It worked just fine for me. Now I know my health is deteriorating, that doesn't seem to be enough fear for me. It takes so much will power every day and it is so tiring to go through these conversations in my head-- will I or won't I? So I think Antabuse would be a relief.
                              Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life... And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

                              Steve Jobs, Stanford Commencement Adress, 2005

                              Comment

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