Feeling Blah, blah, blah...

[sherrie]

It's been less than 3 weeks, but I just feel totally unenthused about everything...nothing to look forward to. same old thing everyday. get up, go to work, rush home to run my daughter to cheerleading, then go home, then run back out to pick her up...I just feel really down, blah and feel like I don't have anything to look forward to...pretty lonely and isolated...anyone else have this happen when the stop drinking??

[ducky]

Feeling Blah, blah, blah...

Hi Sherrie,

I am doing mods not AF, but I totally relate to how you are feeling. I think most of us are so used to entertaining ourselves with Al that we feel a bit empty when it is gone, at least at first. I am noticing that on my AF days I am antsy and bored. I am going to try to make plans for those days in the future, whether it's shopping, a movie, the gym, whatever. I am tired of feeling like I am just getting through the day. Maybe that could work for you too?

[ducky]

Feeling Blah, blah, blah...

Woops, got interrupted on that post.

I am sure this issue is harder when you are doing ABs but if there is some way you can plan some interesting things for yourself it might help.

[Guest]

Feeling Blah, blah, blah...

Sherrie,
YES, I think we all go through it. I know I did and still do some days. Ol' alcohol used to fill up a bunch of my time everyday. Hours would go by that I didn't have a clue what happened, when you go AF, you have to find something you like to fill that empty time. It will come, you will learn to live without alcohol.

[sherrie]

Feeling Blah, blah, blah...

well...

Well this weekend will be 3 weeks for me, but I did have 2 glasses of wine over the weekend. So, I guess I'm not quitting totally. Yes, I guess you are both right...I used to start drinking my beers when I got home from work and continued on until bedtime. Now I'm not doing that so my evenings are feeling pretty empty.

I basically feel totally empty inside. I have always known that I drank to fill that empty spot inside of me...now it's just me to deal with my life and it's not very easy.

It's hard for me to plan anything for "ME"...like I said, I rush home to get my daughter after work, drop her at cheerleading and then have my son (10) with me and then we have to pick her up at 8:00. These are just practice days, on the off days when there are games, like last night, I had to get out at 10:00 to pick her up.

I basically have the kids 24/7 with no help from the ex. It has really taken a toll and I guess I'm totally feeling sorry for myself lately that I have no time for myself and can never do anything that I want to do...poor me:H

[Shikakai]

Feeling Blah, blah, blah...

sherrie;267432 wrote: It's been less than 3 weeks, but I just feel totally unenthused about everything...nothing to look forward to. same old thing everyday. get up, go to work, rush home to run my daughter to cheerleading, then go home, then run back out to pick her up...I just feel really down, blah and feel like I don't have anything to look forward to...pretty lonely and isolated...anyone else have this happen when the stop drinking??

I had all of those feelings before I stopped drinking *7 days ago by FORCE*, and nothing has really changed in that regard.

How do we snap out of it? Is it possible? Life is so routine, mundane and essentially boring. Nothing seems to interest me. As you said, it's the same thing every day. Get up, work out, take a shower, go to work, come home, eat dinner and start the whole thing over and over and over...

No wonder we're depressed.

[Shikakai]

Feeling Blah, blah, blah...

sherrie;267447 wrote: Well this weekend will be 3 weeks for me, but I did have 2 glasses of wine over the weekend. So, I guess I'm not quitting totally. Yes, I guess you are both right...I used to start drinking my beers when I got home from work and continued on until bedtime. Now I'm not doing that so my evenings are feeling pretty empty.

I basically feel totally empty inside. I have always known that I drank to fill that empty spot inside of me...now it's just me to deal with my life and it's not very easy.

It's hard for me to plan anything for "ME"...like I said, I rush home to get my daughter after work, drop her at cheerleading and then have my son (10) with me and then we have to pick her up at 8:00. These are just practice days, on the off days when there are games, like last night, I had to get out at 10:00 to pick her up.

I basically have the kids 24/7 with no help from the ex. It has really taken a toll and I guess I'm totally feeling sorry for myself lately that I have no time for myself and can never do anything that I want to do...poor me:H

Poor all of us, Sherrie... I try to imagine life in a third world country in hopes it will help me to appreciate how good I have it here in the U.S., but just because another person's suffering is worse than mine doesn't minimize my suffering... I guess it's the selfishness of human nature. It's all about ME!

Anyway, I hope you find something to occupy your time. I have begun doing a lot of reading lately, and it helps to step into the lives of the characters. Maybe watch a little Lifetime. Always a good drama on there.

I think your emptiness will pass one you adjust to your AF lifestyle. I'm on day 7 and I can already feel changes. I barely thought of alcohol at all yesterday.

Again, like you, I'm BORED to death... that's why it's so easy to pick up the bottle. It helps us to forget whatever our problem is and everyone's problem is not the same.

[KateH1]

Feeling Blah, blah, blah...

Hey Sherrie,

When we are in the midst of raising children, life can seem completely filled up with mundane tasks (carpooling!) laundry etc etc that seemingly will never end! I know, I raised three kids, while having a very busy career and little help from their dad. But, I also remember a lot of good times back then. Enjoy this time with them, it goes by all too fast!

It's funny how other people's lives ten to appear so much more exciting! It is all about perception. Have you spoken to your MD about your feelings? Perhaps you are suffering from a bit of depression. Many do, alcohol or not. Sam-E is also very helpful. Excercise really helps! Even a good walk, walk with your son, talk and share with each other while walking. Invite a friend to walk with you, take a Yoga class.

What I have come to realize is that alcohol does not fill up our lives, does not bring us any true joy or fullfillment, in fact, alcohol creates a constant hemorage of of our self worth and or energies. Alcohol robs us of friends family and yes, our self respect.

I hope you can find your joy! I know that you can!

KateH

[Accountable for Me]

Feeling Blah, blah, blah...

I went through the same thing Sherrie! It does get easier in time, because a lot of drinking is habit.... it fills the voids... something we look forward to after a hard day.

It takes time to start enjoying 'sober' time. 3 weeks is a great start!! Things will get better - and before long you will wonder why you drank your free time away (what you have of it).

[sherrie]

Feeling Blah, blah, blah...

thanks for all of the posts...I truly know that alcohol doesn't really fill that empty spot. I have noticed many positive changes since I've stopped drinking. One thing I have definitely noticed is that I FEEL more...So, I FEEL my pain, depression, sadness, boredom and also the HAPPY times. I don't have that alcohol to numb everything away, which is a good thing. I've just been drinking regularly for 20+ years that it is quite an adjustment to actually FEEL.

Haven't been exercising much. I actually used to run approx 4 times a week, but haven't been doing that for about a year now...had some "female" health problems so couldn't run for a while.

It's snowy and cold here in MI and we're supposed to get 6-10 inches today, but maybe after I drop daughter off for cheerleading I will drag my son out for a nice long walk in the snow.

Thanks again for all of the support, understanding and ideas!! You guys are wonderful.:thanks:

[Bambi]

Feeling Blah, blah, blah...

Sherrie,

Ahhh yes, the boredom. I also drink for that same reason. I think it will take awhile to reset our minds and change our habits from feeling the need to drink when bored to pass the time to finding other fun things to do. There is so much out there, we have just lived our life for so long in the bottle that we have forgotten what it is like to live without drinking.

Good for you for hanging in there especially with all the carpooling you have to do for your daughter. Isn't it nice to know that you are able to leave at night and pick her up no problem since you haven't been drinking! Well done!

I use to love to do crafts, painting....and have thought about even learning to knit. Those are some ideas to take your mind off drinking and boredom. Reading is also good, like Shikakai said, mindless reading to jump into others lives for awhile. Or take the time and play with your son, video games, long walks....he will love it I am sure.

Take care, it will get better soon.
Bambi

[keeta]

Feeling Blah, blah, blah...

Sherrie,
yes...boredom drinking. I am guilty of that as well.

Try to find something you love to do, when you need to kill time. Crossword puzzles, reading, walking, coloring (yes, I know it sounds silly, but I love to color in my kids coloring books..getting all artsy fartsy while coloring Sponge Bob... :H )

Being a mom, I know you have very little *me* time....but how about a hot bubble bath, then giving yourself a nice manicure, pedicure...facial....pamper yourself for an hour....truely, the laundry WILL be there tomorrow

Hang in there, and congratulations on the AF days!

much love and hugs,
Kee

[Bambi]

Feeling Blah, blah, blah...

Keeta,

I just had to laugh. When my kids where little I loved coloring with them too, such fun!

Bummer that teenagers don't like to color. I did craft paint for awhile on Birdhouses and things, maybe I will pick that up again!

Have a great day everyone!
Bambi

[sherrie]

Feeling Blah, blah, blah...

Thanks for all of the ideas...I have been taking a bath each night...I'm so hyper that I have to actually force myself to relax and stay in there until the tub actually fills up...it's not all that relaxing because I usually have one or both kids banging at the door and "bothering" me...There isn't much ME time when you're a mom, that's just life

Like I said, I'm going to go walking in the snow tonight with my son...I'm already feeling a bit better...I think that I always need to have something to look forward to or I feel everything is BORING...I'm not used to everyday life...usually there was some drama or problem going on because of drinking...now it's just AF me and that's tough to get used to. I know it's a positive thing, but it's not that easy breaking habits that you've been doing FOREVER!!

[Accountable for Me]

Feeling Blah, blah, blah...

keeta;267517 wrote:

coloring (yes, I know it sounds silly, but I love to color in my kids coloring books..getting all artsy fartsy while coloring Sponge Bob... :H )

Kee

keeta, I coloured with my heart's content with my little one when I first quit.... I think we contributed in the success of Crayola crayons! :H It really put me in a 'headspace' where I completely forgot about the rest of the world and the smile on my little one's face was so worth it!