TO TELL OR NOT TO TELL????????

[Not Happy Hour-Happy Life]

TO TELL OR NOT TO TELL????????

Jacqui-
I want to be a devil's advocate for a second:
"I know I'm selfish but I dont want her to read about me and my deepest fears..." Jacqui, I don't think it's selfishness, I think it's fear. I have told a couple of people about this site, and like you, I use my real name. With that being said, I've been guarded about who I confide in.

On the one hand, I would rather read, "Good job, Patty", versus, "Good job, Redneck with Floridian Tan Lines".... I feel like I'm really connecting with you guys here~ like a virtual family. On the other hand, I fear that someone from my neighborhood will recognize me and say, "Hey! I read your forum the other day"....

If she is a CLOSE friend, then she can also be your local support. Sometimes I feel like my husband should log on here to see how I really feel! If you think that by understanding your journey, she can deal better with her problem, then go for it. On the other hand, if she's not a close friend, and it'll just be something that she gossips about maliciously, then ferget-about-it....

Deep down in your heart, I think you know the answer .... so devil's advocate be damned! :heart: Much love~

[nancy]

TO TELL OR NOT TO TELL????????

Hi Jacqui

I am just wondering, did she confide in you because she knows you have a problem and could help?

Probaby the right thing to do is share with a friend. but the problem has so much stigma that anonymity has to be protected. That isn't your fault, but a problem with society. If you tell her, she might tell others that you were on the site etc.

So it's sad but no, i would not tell and have made this decision myself.

I agree that you could help point her in the right direction. SMART has a website.
You could also buy her the book Seven Steps to Sobriety to inform her about the nutritional issues. You could copy an article about the types of medications that are available. Another good book is how to Quit Drinking without AA, which has a section on nutrition.

Given the lack of knowledge out there about alcoholism and that everyone just sends alcoholics to AA with little regard for what is going on in the body, it would be great if you could inform her of these things.

[nancy]

TO TELL OR NOT TO TELL????????

just realized

boy we aren't really keeping in Roberta's tradition are we... you know, how she and her friend went through the program together. I think some friends can be trusted.

[WA]

TO TELL OR NOT TO TELL????????

thanks patty and nancy i think my big problem is if she goes back to drinking she will tell all and be nasty about the whole thing...i hope so much she stays af as she is then one of the nicest people you could ever meet....she doesnt even know im pregnant as i have only told hubby daughter and you lot ......maybe i will give it a little time and see what happens....Thanks all
Jacqui xxx

[Bella]

TO TELL OR NOT TO TELL????????

Hi jacqui!

It is a shame you can't tell her about this site...but I have to agree with the others,you can't. This is private for you. I actually told my friend about this site....you guessed it...when i was drunk! i even showed her some of my posts. i trust her completely, she is my best friend...but i regret it because i have said things here that i am ashamed of and they are just for your ears really. But so be it. we live and learn. then again...do i?! Love to you jacqui...my buddy. Bella xxxx