Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

[Thankful]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Believe, thanks for posting back. Just got slightly worried about you, even though deep down inside I knew you were smarter than that.

I can relate to the thoughts. It's like we share a brain or something. EEKS!! But seriously, I think about friggin beer every waking moment. I know I don't want to drink but was scared last night.

I stayed on-line last night til almost 1AM w/ a fairly new person to the site. They don't post very often and all of a sudden PM'd me asking if they could talk to me. At first I was nervous bcuz I wasn't sure if it would be to tell me off or something. This poor person was so upset w/drama that they were afraid to post publically and share their thoughts on a very personal issue. I felt so bad I wanted to cry for them. Two days ago, they probably wouldn't have thought twice about posting pubically. They didn't want people to think they were a pity party or was being selfish talking about themselves. I hope I changed their mind about future posts, but I don't know.

So, now w/all of last nights drama I felt like drinking really bad. I was good and had my AF beer. I thought I had to have about 7 to equal 1, but here I was on my 5th (rare) and started to feel a little weird. Foggy headed. I was like WTF?? I wanted so bad to drink more trying to convince myself that it would be ok, but I was too scared. My hand were starting to shake. I really hated the feeling. Thank God I stopped.

Really just wanted to get the point across that I know all to well were your coming from.

And you know already how I feel about those fly by night friends. Sad, but screw em.

Hang in there, buddy. It's all good if we make that way.

Love, Me
:l

[BELIEVE]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Lol well I'm glad it makes sense then. I'm perfectly calm I guess. I guess when you take my 60 whatever days I've been out in the yard here in the context of the 10 years I been cooped up in the house, its not so surprising that its still pretty new to me, and sometimes that thought comes from the back of my mind right to the front.

I've never been a proponent of trying to "Replace" drinking with anything. Good or bad, theres no substitute for drinking, and besides why trade one habit for another. But I do find that buying stuff makes me feel pretty good. Matter of fact I'm going back and forth betweeen MWO and one of my fave surplus sites, I'm gonna cop an Israeli gas mask (with extra cannisters) and maybe some German snow cammo ponchos. Thats got me pretty damn happy :H

[meditation mama]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

God, Thankful - Bless your heart!! You are taking on the MYO world right now.. don't do that, girlfriend!

You need to stay here with us for a while and let us baby you...

No more for you.. you are GROUNDED!

Big hugs...


MM

[meditation mama]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

BELIEVE;291953 wrote: I'm gonna cop an Israeli gas mask (with extra cannisters) and maybe some German snow cammo ponchos. Thats got me pretty damn happy :H

WHAT IN SAM'S HELL WOULD YOU DO WITH THESE????

You are GROUNDED, TOO!

[Thankful]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Believe ~ forgot to mention. If your ever on the east coast, we can go target practicing! My nickname (one of them) since I was young has been Annie Oakley. Quite a good shot if I say so myself. But I do not hunt! Just targets.

Love, Me
:l

[BELIEVE]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Just want to say thianks real quick WW, Thankful, MM, and everyone else for your support and all. I care about y'all too!

I have to sign off for the night though, my freinds are waiting for me on xbox live. My real freinds. Freinds whose freindships aren't based on drinking.

Crap, gotta order my gas masks and snow cammo first though. Good night everyone, see y'all 2morrow!

[Thankful]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Oh, I'm fine MM.

Just got a little frazzled last night, that's all.

Am I still grounded?

Love, Me
:l

[meditation mama]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

I think so.. maybe until you can convince me that you have successfully administered EXTREME SELF CARE.

xoxox

MM

[Ripple]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Thank you wonder.

Glad wine is out of my life. When i look in the mirror i see a pretty girl from way back when. WOW i have beautiful blue eyes. Its been worth the f....ing aggravation. Now when i see people DRUNK, they look terrible. What a gift of life where i am today 156 days later. Don't miss ya AL. :H

[meditation mama]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Yes, RIP, you look LOVELY! LOL!!

Love ya!

MM

[Thankful]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

LOL What's that?!??!!

When you all shared posts on the topic, I had nothing to contribute. I have never practiced that. My fault - no one else's.

This is gonna sound stupid, I know...but I'm not even sure I know where to begin. But I am willing to try more and more each day. I'll get there.

I love you guys so much.

Love, Me
:l

[Ripple]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

meditation mama;291967 wrote: Yes, RIP, you look LOVELY! LOL!!

Love ya!

MM

under the conception mask is a sober ripple. :H

AF~ripple

[KateH1]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

All I can say is.....Wow! Bootsie, your phone calls to Luv must have been answered......finally! How did you do it girl! When are you and Luv going to Lenair? Nothing else could have made such a quick turn around! Please, keep us informed! You are amazing!

XXXX Kate

[livingfree]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Lots to think about here

While I was away from my little home here - You all were sitting "outside" discussing some pretty interesting things! You have made me think - as I am big on analogies and metaphors.

First I had to shed my orphaned avatar. I am ready now. I was going to wait until 100 days - but WW - I followed your directions and Shazam it worked! Next for the Cows Kate!

My new Avatar: I'll make a statement - but I'll let you all make your own statements and conclusions, as I don't do anything without a hidden meaning!! I am ready for Boldness in my new skin - but not so much as to let "everyone" look into my eyes. You here are my "inner circle". You here are the ones whom I trust with my tears, and whom I want to "hold hands" and venture out to the edge of the big yard. It's a beautiful garden out here - but if we are not looking out for each other's backs - there are pits and dark caverns we can fall into. Not that we can not climb out alone - but I know growing up when we wanted to walk across the frozen pond - my Grandfather made us form a human chain. We were as strong as the weakest link.

So with that - I send my love today -

First to Kate our Birthday girl: as the 60th passes - history has shown us that this is a fragile time - and a wonderful turning point - so to say you are covered in my prayers is an understatement. I am holding you close to my heart - as you walk whispers through the next week. May it be filled with newness and reflection.

and to WW for starting this beautiful family in Faith that others would follow her desire to walk as a Non Drinker; her witty sense of humor, yet deep understanding of the human spirit. How loved you are.

and to MM who has given us the beauty, courage and love to know for certain that "we all go up together, we all laugh together - we all cry together ...so we are all - together. YOU have held us together Your grace has graced us all - and your beauty shines through each and every word you speak.

and dear Thankful - who roams the streets of the forums looking for those who want help. Who truly have outstretched hands waiting for one to grab on. You are an inspiration and make me look straight into my own eyes and ask - "are you willing to give back Liv?" Thank you - I really truly am Thankful for you. When you picked that user name - you had no idea how much it would come to mean to someone like me.

And darn you Believe - you made me cry. When I read the house analogy - Well - I have something similar in my journal. I could hear your thoughts in my heart. We will walk into the gardens of sobriety together. Don't leave us here. You have so much wisdom - and a beautiful gas mask, just when the fog is getting to heavy.

And BB - Woman - Your challenge helped me grow into my next stage. The "me" peaking over the sunglasses isn't where she wants to be yet - but she is growing there - and she was lost and thought she had been orphaned. But now she is found - and safely watching from the gardens in the yard! I hope we hear from you soon - as to the rest of the story ....

Mya - if you are checking in - love to you too!

Happy Sunday to all my Dear Ones!

Liv

[BELIEVE]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Whats good kids. Just finished my 4 hours at the gym and now its time to chill for a minute. I was planning on cleaning my apartment today, but fuck it. I think it can wait another week. I ain't no Martha Stewart.

Well living I'm sorry I made you cry, I wasn't trying to do so. I just thought I would write down some deep/wierd thoughts by Believe. And don't worry, I'm not going anywere, sad 2say but I think y'all are stuck with me. You could try talking RJ into moving the whole site and that would shake me for a minute, but I would't stop looking till I found ya'll. Day or night I would just keep coming. Just like the Believeinator...no escape

Thankful I would be glad to go a-shootin with you if I'm ever out that way. Lol I better practice some more though so you don't make me look too bad! I load my own ammo though so I do get to put tons of rounds down range. I'm getting pretty good with my beloved 1911, she's the one I'm going to qualify with when I get my CCW, although I probably won't actually carry her for fear of having her stolen or damaged or something. I might have to get another 1911 for that, or I guess I could carry a Glock. We'll see. Haha I don't hunt either, unless you count varmit shootin. lol I H8 varmits. They got any prairie dogs out your way?

WW I wanted to say hi and check in at your pool party, but MM grounded my ass last night LOL.

Speaking of which, MM, can I be un-grounded yet? Ironically I was just going to wear my gas mask and snow cammo poncho to the pool party. Yeah thats it. I WAS going to wear a bowtie, a tatto, and not much else but I noticed some clown at the party already sporting that look..whats a guy to do? And incase you're thinking it NO I'm not "Wearing" a sparkler so don't ask...

And lets not forget K8 whose the rock star of the day. 60 big ones...way 2go!!!!!!!