Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

[Beck]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Liv, Thank you. I sailed through a similar situation a few weeks ago and just decided to be honest. This visit (which is this Saturday) is different. I will have a plan by then. Having my husband here complicates matters. He offered to buy me gin and bourbon a few days ago...ignorance or sabotage???Either way I have to deal with it.

Thanks for having my back. I realized yesterday that I am in virtually the same place emotionally that I was in 8 years ago when I started drinking heavily. New location, kids finally settled, not working outside the home, feeling disconnected, controlling husb...YIPES. Learned my lesson though - no drinking - no matter what.

Wonder, excellent analogy. I have a lot of that type of work to do (both literally and figuratively) that I have been putting off. Sure doensn't make it any easier.

WIP and CS, Good to see you here. Just stay committed.

Hi LVT and Kate!!

Now I'm off to have my day...

[wonderworld]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Beck;371944 wrote:
Wonder, excellent analogy. I have a lot of that type of work to do (both literally and figuratively) that I have been putting off. Sure doensn't make it any easier.

Beck, I'm finding that there's a process and rhythm at work here that is beyond my control. I wouldn't have had that yesterday 3 months ago, 3 weeks ago, even 3 days ago. It all seems to flow naturally with the AF. Just keep processing what's happening and don't drink and the rest takes care of itself. And for me ...... "processing" means simply plodding ahead with my day to day life and working with the feelings that come up - talking about them, writing about them sometimes, and also allowing them space to just be. As I heal, the picture just naturally gets brighter .

Hope everyone has a great day!

WW xox

[LVT25]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Hello Everybody!!!

Edward Scissorhands is on the telly as we speak!!!!:H

I was thinking about friends, conversations, fun times yesterday. I have had A LOT of fun times. MOST of them revolved around alcohol. I have been drinking off and on since I was 14. I had a bf that was a couple of years older than me, and even though my parents loved him, and he was a nice guy, it was a big mistake to let me have so much freedom with him.
Anyway, that's another story. I DON'T regret very much about my past. I DO regret there are so many good times I simply CANNOT remember any details....hmmmm I wonder why. I guess to me that is a good argument against drinking AL. I have had long, deep all-night conversations with people, that at the time were wonderful. Some of those people are gone now, and I DO NOT remember the conversations.
So, I want to remember the rest of my life--my kids are still young (10 and 13) I WANT to remember everything I can about the rest of their childhood. Uh oh, here come the tears :upset: I'm not going to worry about the past---I'm going to focus on the future--the things that I can change.
Have a great day everybody!:h :l

[A Work in Progress]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

NOTHING WORKS EVERYTHING IS BROKEN

DAMN damn damn the ENTIRE DAY everything I have tried to do has turned to... crap! Computer internet connection comes and goes, cell phone would not connect to voice mail and then spat out its chip from somewhere beneath its battery, so I had to go to phone store, endless re-setting computer, went to bank to get through misc other errands and bank's "system was down" had to drive to another branch far away, was HUNGRY by then and getting PRETTY IRRITATED and then there were many of all things ROADBLOCKS on various streets... and at the grocery store then the COFFEE GRINDER WOULD NOT GRIND till I got the guy over to look at it and it grinds JUST FINE for him (I swear I am not drinking but I might as well be DRUNK given how I can't seem to get anything accomplished) and, now, dinner with mother... Jeez. Have packed some V8 in a cooler will pick up chinese carry-out and by god go on over there and NOT DRINK and then come home and go to bed,,,, I swear I am going to get an iMac... I hate PC's... I hate messing with internet connections....

best to all,

wip on Day 9. Grrrr....

[wonderworld]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

geez what a royally SUCKY day WIP :upset:. Not to minimize the suckiness of all those mishaps but day 9/10 is famous for a major turnabout too. It happened to me. Something that's happened to alot of folks on here. Don't ask me why.

You just keep right on marching with your V8 and your egg rolls girl. I like your plan. and BLAH !!!!! to all the rest :moon:

With you all the way -

WW xox

[wonderworld]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

awww LVT :l ........ You got me thinking of this......

[ame=

]YouTube - Jackson Browne HERE COMES THOSE TEARS AGAIN MARYLAND 77(2)[/ame]

anyone remember it ?!?!:upset:

You sound awesome woman. Kickin' ass and takin' names .

- Edward xox

[Beck]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

WP, I'm with Wonder. Day 9 is tough but after you make it through - you get to double digits!!! Just keep moving forward.

Wonder, Thanks for the advice. I plan to keep moving forward and finding new coping methods. Don't intend to drink - but will admit that this is the first time since I have started this journey that I
wished I had antabuse in my arsenal.

LVT, my girls are 7, 12,13 and 15. Being present for them these past few months has really meant everything to me.

[LVT25]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Hello again,

WIP--I had a day almost as bad as yours last week.....started with cows out........

WW--I had to go back and read my post to see why in the HE double hockey sticks you thought of that song! :H Of course I remember it!

Beck--Really--4 girls!! Ugh! :H:H My oldest has been at church camp the last 2 weeks, the youngest had his tonsils out--so it has been pretty darn quiet around my house!!

Later--:h

[A Work in Progress]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Hey all, just checkin' in, done with the Dinner with Mother that capped the Day from Hell... of course I know none of the petty shit that happened was terribly consequential but WAY too many of little crappy things in ONE day!! In my opinion, anyway... Interesting that it's common for there to be something odd or difficult about day 9/10??? Who knows. Magic numbers woven into the fabric of the universe??? Maybe so.

I know that part of my irritation had to do with my glitchy computer/internet connection forcibly detaching me from checking in here, as it has become quite an important place for me, very quickly. Thanks, I say, to all of you. It was a weird day, with some squabbling and angst and weirdness, and that's OK. I am sure I would have a very hard time sticking it out here if it were all sweetness and light.

Oh I wish I could remember who gave me the excellent cocktail "recipe" for my mother's evening drinkies: OJ on the rocks with a couple of DROPS of vodka on top, to give to my mother... I used it! And she really DIDN'T know any difference! That was fun!

LV, Beck, WW, all, thanks. I'm sitting in a COFFEE SHOP so I can get internet access and check in with all of you and say goodnight. Good sleep, all.

wip

[CS04]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Work In Progress,
You'll love the iMac. Damn PCs to hell. Macs are way cooler.

Glad your evening turned out...OK. I love V8. Especially when hungover (oops shouldn't day that) But it's also great with the All One powder.

Hang in there!

[mwo2]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

WIP - glad you made it through your day. That was your own personal soap opera ! esp. the guy getting his grounds, I always felt that hangovers were the cause of that stuff, but it happens to me AF. Glad the oj/vod combo worked, I read that post too, good one.

LTV - I am so with you on remembering that I dont remember what those all encompassing all night talks were about. But I am so grateful for the times I can now spend with my kids and know that I am hearing everything they say. And I know that somehow they feel the betterness of it too.

Wonder - thanks great song!

Keeping it AF!

[kaddy]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

morning everyone,, hope you are all doing well

[Beck]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Good Morning,

Looks like the universe is taking care of me again My visiting friend has changed her plans. She will be arriving late Friday (after drink time) and leaves Saturday night (and won't drink b/c of the drive). So much more manageable for me. And I will be honest with her - don't want to put myself in a vulnerable position again.

Oh and I'll share something fun from my recent vacation. We rented a house and on the fridge were those little alphabet magnets. There weren't many of the letters left and my kids were making phrases from the letters. On the first night my eldest came up with "Cook and eat sober" she was a bit displeased b/c she had two leftover letters - "R" and "J". She didn't understand why I thougt it so funny.

LVT, my kids are going away for nearly two weeks starting Sunday. My husband will be back at work - will be my vacation. Can't wait.

You have a great attitude, WIP.

Good to hear everyone doing so well.

[livingfree]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Sometimes it just works out Beck!! Good for you for telling her anyway. I loved the story about "RJ" - I'll bet you smiled all night.

Wonder - I haven't had a chance to post a note about your awesome story about the vines and weeds taking over the side of your house. I could totally see my life in that way. All the weeds started creeping up and I hated the way it looked, but put it off for tomorrows to do list. Pretty soon I stopped looking. It got to the point where I couldn't see it. But when I did -- I just cried and buried my head. But once I started "cleaning up" - the more I could see it transforming ... the harder I worked cleaning it up and what was transforming one day "popped" - my moods, my desires .... everything seemed to change overnight. But it was during all that "clean up work" that the process was happening. But once clean - WOW

I just loved that thought ... had to build a house on it!!

Love you all

[A Work in Progress]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

CS, I got me a MacBook! You were right! There's kind of a learning curve, but I am working on it! I was a basket case for a little while this afternoon when I was trying to communicate with and send stuff to work-related people and could not figure out how the hell to copy and paste!!! Jeez!!! I can't survive without copying and pasting stuff!! Eventually got it figured out...

My PC started acting squirrelly (well of course, it's a PC) at the same time that my high-speed went nuts and died... so this morning I went to the Apple store. They had a special deal so I also got a nice printer and an iTouch! Cool!

Still no internet at home (guys coming out on Saturday to investigate), so I have been going from coffee shop to coffee shop using their internet... fortunately I am a regular at two of them close to my house... much of my work depends on internet access, and now I am feeling much stronger if/when I can stay in touch, here at MWO...

Anyhow, it was weird, after dinner at home I knew I had more work to do and a couple of errands to run so I left the house around 6:30 and felt nervous because I am not used to being out of the house in the evenings, at least not without at least some load of alcohol on board... then realized hey this is NICE, I can do all kinds of stuff this evening, there is no sense of a sort of limitation on me based on how much I have or have not yet had to drink... I think there was always some sort of weird calculation going on in my mind about that, before... hard to express or explain... as if the day really ended, or started to end, as soon as I started drinking late in the afternoon...

Good news Beck, best wishes, all...

Anyhow, day 10 AF was just fine.

wip