Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

[Captnjack]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

max hows things fellow aussie

[KateH1]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Hi Maxman!!
Wow! So good to see you.....where in the heck have you been? What a wonderful surprise to wake up this morning and see your name! So spill, how are things going with your amazing arwork? How is life in general? Can't wait to hear more!

Love,
xxx Kate

[Captnjack]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

I love this thread you guys are the foundation of My way out..... pure and simple don't ever give up on us others ok... please

[Captnjack]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

max the bloods have lost this one

[Captnjack]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

sorry guys just doesnt fell right you guys are a item the rest of us are rabble
Love always Cap

[A Work in Progress]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Hey good morning everyone, great posts, great people. I'm doing fine except for not being able to log onto this place at home... it's driving me a little nuts!

Kate I'm with you, I'm new but I already find myself being a bit annoyed about reading so many posts from people who know nothing about the MWO program, just wanting to write posts about their drinking, i.e., attempts at "modding." Or wanting a magic way to take a pill so that there will be no discomfort, no work involved... But I also see posts from people who clearly have gone through that stage, and come out the other end realizing that that the easy superficial way just doesn't work, but that (lo and behold!) there is a wonderful program here for those who are determined to get their lives free of AL. And, for those few who go through this program carefully, and ultimately engage in moderate consumption of alcohol, that's great... but it doesn't come easy...

wip

[KateH1]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Thanks, WIP. The thing is, this "Program" MWO does work. Several of us on this very thread, used this program, the book, the supps, the exercies etc. and we are here today, alcohol free and loving it! The core group that started this thread all decided very early in our sobriety....just past 30 days, that we could all hold hands and keep going! We talk about all of it, the good the bad and the ugly....we support each other through the rough patches and we continue to learn and to grow. Oddly enough, we have all come to the conclusion that modderation is a slipery slope. Modderation is not about "wanting it", or "deciding to measure our drinks", "drink only certain day of the week" etc. etc. etc. We know from what we learned from the book and what rings true inside our guts that moderation is to "Truly be able to have a "Casual Relationship with Alcohol". I know, that this is not the relationship that I am able to have with alcohol. We all worried ourselves sick, when Believe, though much thought and planning decided to moderate for an evening. We all supported Believe and his decision and stood by for whatever he might need from us for support. He handled the whole experience brilliantly and his posts regarding his "Experiment", brought a lot of wisdom to all of us!

I am all about having fun....joking, laughing etc. We are all very good at that here.....but, when it comes to drinking we are extremely serious. No laughter about our former drunken ways. Mainly, because it was tragic and not funny at all!!

OK...so, imagine me, going on and on.....LOL....but we are glad you are here. We support everyone.....but we will always guide everyone to the MWO book and the program because this is what this place is really all about!!

Wishing you Well,
Kate

[Captnjack]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

hey max

[Captnjack]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

l.remember you

[Beck]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

I'm with you Kate and WIP. What I find difficult about the boards is that there is a lot of encouragement but often not a lot of truth telling. It is hard - there is no magic pill and at least in my world the only way to stop drinking is to stop drinking - no matter what.

Will I ever be able to have a casual relationship with AL? Don't know really. I have in the past but believe I have crossed that line. As long as I still have drinking thoughts (which I do after 6 months AF) I know the answer is not yet.

[Captnjack]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

I am all about having fun....joking, laughing etc. We are all very good at that here.....but, when it comes to drinking we are extremely serious. No laughter about our former drunken ways. Mainly, because it was tragic and not funny at all!!

OK...so, imagine me, going on and on.....LOL....but we are glad you are here. We support everyone.....but we will always guide everyone to the MWO book and the program because this is what this place is really all about!!

Kate so beautifully put...... I love you dear so much....... love cap

[livingfree]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Excellent posts Wip, Kate, Beck and Jack .... I couldn't agree more. I have tried the "so sorry your having a bad day" route with myself ........ and it doesn't work!!! I am an experienced expert at it! I have a "doctorate plus" if 25 years counts for anything!!!!! When it comes to "support" this site is about RJ's experience & research - not about "lets start a forum so people can share how sorry they are for each other that they can't get control of alcohol!!"

No matter what ANYONE says - quitting drinking takes tough love. You can get "hugs" from those who are in your physical surroundings -- but a forum is a place to "get information" ... and "see" the experience of those who are "making it happen" I couldn't agree more with the above posts !! This IS serious business, and when we develop "relationships" through sharing reality - that's when we can take it to the next level ~~~ FRIENDSHIP ~~~~ WHICH I FEEL I HAVE WITH YOU GUYS!!! SHIT .... There ... I've vented!!! Where is Thankful ... she says "shit" best!!!! :H

On to what I was going to post ....

Last night was an awesome test for me. I PASSED! I'm going to share "details" so if I bore you sorry I want to be able to come back and read my thoughts if I need to in the future!!

Monday's are my "closed" day at the Spa - to clean, do bookwork etc. etc. I have a group of out of town girlfriends (from the company I used to work for) - and we get together every couple of months. They hadn't seen my Spa - so made the trip down to spend the day. I "normally" would buy wine for such an occassion - but instead stocked the spa with extra LaCroix, teas, fun coffees, fruit etc, etc. I told them when they arrived that if they wanted "other beverages" they could go out and get what they wanted. Happy to say they didn't want to drink alcohol and we had a fantastic day laughing, doing facials, massage, etc etc. Girl play time. BUT they presented me with a beautiful basket of 2 bottles of my favorite wines, dark chocolates and great cheese. (and every color of post-em's know to 3M ~~ I'm the post em queen ~ my black berry stays dormant as I am addicted to post ems). So - end of visit, great day ... etc etc. Now the Basket.........

I left it at the Studio (forgot actually) and my daughter is in town for a few days to pack some things for Boston. She hung out at the Spa yesterday and came home after I did ... with the BASKET. (She knows I stopped drinking, but not how or why I really decided I had to stop). I made dinner, and she cracked open a bottle and poured herself a glass with dinner. (hubbie is out of town on business). I smelled the wine, looked at it and for a brain dead second it actually went through my mind "I could have one glass". AGGGGGGG! I hate my brain sometimes!! I went to the wine glass collection and pulled my favorite glass. She said "oh - are you going to have a glass?" What POPED out of my mouth is "THE STORY HERE" - without even thinking ... I said - No I'm going to put my Kombucha tea in this glass". It almost caught me off guard, because just seconds before I am Sub consciously going through the motions without thinking them through!!

I poured my tea - we ate dinner and I really didn't stop to think about the turn of events until ....

She SIPPED her wine through dinner, slowly finished it while we cleaned up. Corked the bottle and put it away. THAT's where it REALLY HIT ME.

1st - I so easily leap when I see it sitting there ready to drink. Like a wild dog after flesh.

2nd - my sub conscious gravitated to MOVE toward drinking it

3rd and second most important - MY NEW MIND SET TOOK ACTION AND I SUB CONSCIOUSLY SAID NO!!! It wasn't until all the fast events took place that I realized what had happened!!!!

4th and most important. As I saw her drink in the way she did ... I REALIZED first hand that I have NEVER EVER EVER drank like that ... even when I was 23 years old (which she is). I realized that I have drank LIKE an alcoholic way before I had a REAL problem with alcohol.

What a confirmation to me that:

A. My subconscious is finally working FOR ME (even though the old habit jumps out front like it did)

B. I can never drink ever ever ever again - cuz I never even moderated when I was young and not ADDICTED!!!

C. If we just keep abstaining - it WILL WORK. Yes we have to be Diligent for a LONG time to engrain new habits - but TIME is ON OUR SIDE NOW!!!


Sorry to post this - such the long post that it is --- but I had to put it in my memory file here with you guys!!!

I LOVE YOU ALL!!

[Captnjack]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Your nuts LIV but make good sense as your friends Kate!! Wonder!!! Believe!!! Best!!!! and so many more such a wonderful group!!!!!love you guys Cap

[KateH1]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Beck....my sentiments exactly!! Lots of fluff with no substance! And, there is no "Magic Pill"! Time after time, I feel so saddened when I see the frantic posts regarding Topa and other drugs. Posts saying "I need it today, I need to stop drinking"....on and on. Topa does help some, but, it is not Magic, for some, it is a helper. But, the work is still up to us!

Liv, Thanks for sharing this story........this is why we hang together! We can't and don't take our sobriety for granted! I have lived similar events myself over the past 7 months.....feeling great....I have a handle on this......and then the bottle shows up!! Those thoughts go through my head, could I, should I, try having just one glass???? Then I think, perhaps I could have just one tonight...but, what will that bring tomorrow and the next day........In my Heart I know..sooner or later I would be back to drinking and probably worse than when I started here! The bottom line, I have never had a Casual Relationship with Alcohol.......I never will!

Yep...me too Liv, no more.... of the "poor you, having a bad day.....keep doing what you're doing you will do this"............those are empty words......because.....if they keep doing what they are doing they will destroy their health, their lives and remain drunks! Period! These types of words, make the poster popular among those still drinking, but, it really helps no one, and that is why we are here!

But, the fact is that there are a lot of people here to socialize. Others here that want to commiserate about drinking.......get agreement from others about their drinking etc. In others words, the want to connect with other enablers. All that is individual choice, no judgements at all on my part.....people can and will drink as long as they want to drink. They will quit when they are ready to do the work! But, I wish this site would get back to being "My Way Out".....a website that supports sobriety....and yes, sobriety is also "True and Honest Moderation".

Capt....glad you are hanging around here......hope you are not offended......this one thread....really helps me stay on track!!

Lots of Love!
Kate

[LVT25]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Hi guys,

It kind of amazes me how this thread stays quiet and then BAM!
It goes crazy!

I'm choosing not to get into the subject of moderating. I ALWAYS recommend newbies start with the book, plain and simple!

Living free--I too, love my "sticky notes." I think I told you that before when I first started here, that was one of your threads. A basket full of multi colored post its would be a really cool gift for me!!:H
Thank you for sharing your experience! It's an awesome story.

Me, I'm struggling right now. Not with any desire to drink. What I need now is to find a way to live my life happily with a drinking spouse. It's not his problem I'm concerned with, it's the way I handle it. I did pretty well for awhile I thought, but now I just get so irritated with him. I'm considering counseling--anyone want the job????
Seriously, right now I feel like I have 3 choices:
I can be a cranky bitch that no one wants to be around, I can find a way to be happy with the situation the way it is, or I can go back to my old ways of drinking and smoking, because at least we spent time together.
I confided in my SIL about the situation. She will be at this wedding this weekend. She drinks now, but she quit for 2 years. I told her I might need her for moral support. Last night I had almost talked myself out of even going. I don't want to ruin everyone else's fun. Today I'm trying to relax, and think positive. There will be plenty of other people around there to do things with that doesn't involve drinking. AND Lincoln is a NO-SMOKING city--so I should be happy I don't have that monkey on my back anymore!
Alright, I think I'm done venting for now. I think I'll take my laptop so I can check in here while I'm gone.:h