Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

[BELIEVE]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Wow, been a busy thread! Don't really have time to go back and read all the posts right now since I'm at work. I just thought I would share my latest "Modding" exerience. I mentioned earlier I was going to allow myself to drink on occasion after doing 6 months or so AF.

So I got loaded at a wedding I went to last weekend. Had some beers a few days later. Drinking at the wedding reception was fun enough I guess, but it was more about the occasion than the drinking itself. Those beers without an occasion to go with them pretty much sucked.

Still no cravings to speak of. I'm going out of town in November to see some freinds I haven't seen since last year. Should be fun, and that may be the next time I drink. It will certainly be the soonest.

AF is still the best. Still my preferred status quo. Having a few months af time are making all the difference in the world for me. It makes it SO easy to see what a shitty life al has to offer when you let him take over.

I know I've said this before but I'll repeat that for me modding will be af living but open to the occasional drink.

Anyway thats my little update. Take care all.

[wonderworld]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Hey Believe and all -

Just wanted to say hello to everyone here. Believe, I'm glad you continue to share your experiences with us.

I'm feeling a little tired from this weekend ( right now I'm watching my cat Major Nelson spastically stick his tongue in and out in his sleep lol!!). I need a good night's sleep and a fresh start tomorrow.

I love our little thread :h.

Good night!

WW xox

[Beck]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Hi everyone,

This thread is was about to go to page 3.

Believe, If you can mod like that - more power to you. I don't think I can ever go back there. I posted once on the abs thread that I was going to mod. Det told me I just wanted to drink again and (this is painful to admit) but he was right - damn. Thanks, Det!!!

OK everyone, you know that advice that I gave to CS last week...that sometimes you just have to dive in and start talking about issues with husb even when it is difficult. I actually took my own advice. Had a conversation with husb I had been putting off for years. It may have even helped - too soon to tell. But it made me feel better anyway.

I'm no longer struggling to remain AF. Whole truth is that a week ago I was in liquor store trying to decide which size bottle of JD to buy when an old guy walks in and picks up the cheapest shit on a shelf near me and is out of the store in a flash. I said F@ck audibly and left. That is when I called the AA. Scary moment for me because I really don't know how long it would have taken for me to find my way back here.

This is such a long road. I'm glad you guys are on it with me.

WW, I love this thread too

[Doggygirl]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

I'm sorry I lost track of this thread way back when and I'm so glad you guys welcomed me again - I promise to try to be a contributor this time!!

Beck, I'm so glad you shared that story about the liquor store and the old man. I so often get caught up in what I would call immature thoughts about drinking. (i.e. WHAH!! How come they get to drink and I don't!!!!) I tend to forget about the negative health & life consequences. When I think about where my drinking was for the last many years, I shudder to think where that path would have led in another 10 years. Heck, I probably WAS already viewed by somebody else as the "sad old woman buying the cheap vodka......." Sheesh that gives me the creeps. I'm glad that vision made you walk away.

Believe, I was only AF for 60 days the first time...so this may not be relevant. But when I decided on the spur of the moment that I could mod now (eh em....I too just wanted to drink again!!) the first time of drinking went fine - if you call "fine" not quite back to my old levels by the next day. But it sure didn't take long. And then I had a REALLY hard time getting myself back on the wagon for some reason. I ended up wasting months more of my life with my head in the bottle.

I hope that doesn't happen to you. I like WIPs thread questioning why AL is so important to us? (i.e. the strong desire to mod rather than just quit??) Best wishes! Hope I'm not over stepping my bounds - I've been babbling away here on MWO way too much today!!

DG
Day 83 AFHF

[BELIEVE]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Beck if you were just wanting a drink at least you recognized Als little trick to get you back and stopped it cold. I say more power YOU! Actually victory over Al will look different for different people. Be it complete freedom from alcohol or modding as defined by mwo (thanks to K8 for pointing that out) as long as we're doing it , thats all that matters. I'm actually not doing anything special. Not drinking just feels good. I like being sober. I can honestly say I actually LIKE it. Its easy to do what you like,isn't it?

To that point doggygirl thanks for your concern, but I'm not open to drinking Occasionally because I want an excuse to drink.

Right now I have exactly what I want. When I'm out with people and I get water or a pop and they ask why I'm not drinking I tell them its because I don't want to . And I'm telling the truth. People still act so surprised. I wonder if they realize how silly they look, standing there with their 900 oz beer (no one ever bothers with the 12 or 16 oz beers anymore, they always gotta have the big gulp size migs) with a shocked look on their face because I just told them I'm not drinking simply because I prefer water or pop. I used to want to be like them, I thought they had it figured out, thought they were normal. it used to be a little emarassing to refuse a drink, I felt like someone with a problem or some kind of wierdo or something. It occurs to me that anyone so shocked at the thought of someone not drinking might be the one with a problem. It sounds terrible but I actually have feelings of contempt for these people now. Slaves. Slaves doing their masters bidding. I bet it would kill them to go af for a while.

Of course I know there are people on this board who struggle to remain af but at least they're trying to break free. As long as they're actually trying (not simply conitnuing to drink and fishing for sympathy) they are light years ahead of those people standing around in the bars thinking they're such hot stuff when they really are just slaves..

Anyway I'm just sharing my experience as I travel along my path here. Don't mean to ramble or sound arrogant or anything.

[KateH1]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Great post, Believe!! How did you get so wise!! I love how you are seeing through these old drinking patterns and you are so right. They are in fact "Slaves doing their masters bidding", their master is AL and they don't even realize it! We are free and we do our own bidding!! YES!!

I also have great compassion for anyone who is truly doing their all to break free of alcohol. I will do anything to help anyone in that possision. Staying here long term "drinking and fishing for sympathy", flat out pisses me off! Because, I think it makes a joke and a mokery of those that are taking this seriously and working hard to beat the beast! No, that is not judgmental, it is not arrogant, it is the truth. One thing that we must do in order to remain living as non-drinkers is to be truthful and to know who we are and stand by it! Anything else is just "Bait for AL".

Love Ya! You are teaching us all so many valuable lessons!!
xxxxxKate

[Beck]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Believe, I really did mean "good for you" You don't sound arrogant, just happy.

[mwo2]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Hi All,

I was thinking about this thread today... and here it is....

Beck, Doggy, Believe and Kate your posts today were so right on....nice to be on the same page with ya !! hahahaha..seriously I do mean it. Thanks for the words.

Beck, Hope that your talk with hubby continues to make you feel better.


Wow! Had to go look and count on the calenday day 45 for me...weeee

Best Regards to all,
mwo2

[Determinator]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

page 3? look out! we have some catching up to do eh?

Believe, great lucid post! your vision is very good and I heartily concur.

doing as well as can be expected since I'm on the road with a nasty head cold. managed to find the skankiest Motel6 ever in the history of mankind. I think a cat peed in here and then died recently. ugh.
why can't I lose my sense of smell when I really need to? hahahaha.

be well friends!

[Doggygirl]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

BELIEVE;381414 wrote:
To that point doggygirl thanks for your concern, but I'm not open to drinking Occasionally because I want an excuse to drink.

I definitely overstepped my bounds and I hope you will accept my apology.

DG

[KateH1]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

MWO2....Wow! 45 Days is so great!! Your posts and your thought process seems like one who has lived as a non-drinker far longer! You are really doing the work...woman!! Cheers!!
xxx Kate

[BELIEVE]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Thanks K8 I'm just calling it like I see it! I feel empowered now where I used to feel a little insecure. Those other people are no longer what I want to be, like I said they're weak. I'm a Double Whopper with cheese AND bacon and they're a little punk ass chicken nugget with a bite taken out. Thats how I see it. I don't need an excuse not to drink, and now I look people dead in the eye and tell them I don't want one. Feels better than any buzz ever did. But then, do buzzes actually feel good?

Beck I know what you were saying :H I just wanted to take a minute to point out that you (and a lot of our threadmates here) are also kicking als ass. I can just see us all standing in a circle pushing him around, like bullies in a schoolyard. Except its HIM who's the bully (well, former bully).

No matter whats going on in our lives, if we still have our daily victory over AL, thats HUGE you guys. Of course thats tempered by the fact (I remind myself of this everyday) that Al got us all once. No matter how far we've come he's always just one step behind us.

[Beck]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

MWO2, 45 Days is wonderful!!!

[BELIEVE]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

I missed a couple posts while typing!

Thanks det, glad you liked my post. Your avatar pretty much rules the world BTW! I wish I had that on a t shirt.

Doggygirl, you didnt overstep anything. I didn't take any offence to your post so no apologies needed! I know what you were saying, I just thought I would clarify my position thats all. With so many people doing so many things for so many different reasons, it can be hard to know where someones coming from. So again please dont take my response as being defensive or implying any wrongdoing on your part. Its all good, don't give it another thought

[KateH1]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Believe your last post about the Whopper make me think of an analogy about chasing the buzz:

It is like a dog chasing its tail....it goes round and round chasing it's tail and looking like a fool, most of the time never getting hold of it and when by chance it does grab hold.....It hurts like Hell!