Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

[livingfree]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Det - it's my motercycle .... my " HD ~ Sportster" - I posted a pic of it in the sub photo gallery!!! My Lic. plate is my user name!! I talked about it a lot when I got it back in May - but then couldn't figure out how to post the photo - but finally got it in here!! It's my "quit drinking" gift to myself!! :H

Det - when you get time - I'm waiting to hear more about the burning man event.... photos and all!!

[A Work in Progress]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

OH! OH! I used to have a Sportster!!! I LOVED that bike!!!

wip

[LVT25]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Hi guys!

I guess I will have to join subs to see pic of your bike, eh liv? I would like to see you on it, with your license plate!!
Expensive, but fun weekend. Hubby bit the bullet, and we bought not 1, but 2 big screen tvs. Yikes! Looked at them last weekend, they gave us a "better" deal with 2. I am sick of looking at the old monster sized one in our basement that hasn't worked in like 4 years!! Hubby wanted a Harley, but this is a little more "family friendly". Looking forward to winter with a fire in the woodstove, and a good movie or a fun video game with the kids.
My Internet repairman is coming today. I wonder if he will turn around and leave when he figures out it's "me". (We didn't exactly hit it off when he installed the satellite.) I just hope he fixes it!!

[A Work in Progress]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

LV that'll be fun! I bought one of those for my mother; she has macular degeneration, can't see worth a damn but INSISTED on buying a tiny little TV for her house, in one of her martyrdom fits. So when she was in the nursing home, getting ready to come home, I cleaned out and cleared out her house and got her a very nice TV... but I still have a clunky huge one (not a huge screen, just huge all over!).

Hope you and the repair guy are able to come to an understanding... that he is to do it RIGHT!!!

wip

[LVT25]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

YIPPEEEE!!! I'm fixed!!!:H :wd:

We both played nice this time. As I suspected, the satellite got moved by the guys that replaced our siding. Oh, well.
Bad news is, I was actually getting some things done around the house, now I'll be on the computer more again.:H

[savon19]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

I think this thread has broken a record!!

111 pages?? Wow.

So I had to put my 2 cents in...

Had bad day yesterday & DRANK after more than 35 days... Just shows you that there's always some sneaky excuse to drink!

But I'm BACK now. No more. Stupid - silly.

I even wrote a kind of nasty note to an ex-bf. That I KNOW I wouldn't have done had I been sober. OMG.

It's just SO NOT WORTH IT. And... drinking didn't make me feel better - probably worse.

[KateH1]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Hi Gang,
Well, last week was a tough one for me. Had to travel on Sunday for work, got back late wednesday. The work week was pretty brutal, long hours and lots of stress. My business is actually up, while the company is flat......I should be breathing easy! Go figure! Anyway, I got a call at 2AM that my 5 year old granddaughter was in the ER. She had a kidney infection and was dehydrated....they gave her IV fluids and anti-biotics....poor little thing was so scared and confused! She is doing much better now.

All I can say is.....I am so grateful for my sobriety! It would all have been a hell of a lot worse had I been still a drinker! Funny thing is, I never even thought of taking a drink through this whole ordeal!! Wow! that is progress....my friends!

I came here hoping to read some upbuilding stuff......Yikes! It seems that at the moment there is a lot more about "justifying" and glamorizing alcohol"......makes me very sad. I hope it gets turned around!

But, today is a new day, I am so happy that all my non-drinking buddies are cruizing along!!

Det, loved your photos!! I had never hurd of the Burning Man event before.......then, I saw it on TV as well as your site!

Have a great week All!!
xoxox Kate

[Determinator]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Livingfree, here's my burning man link: Garlic Breath Online

also I did a writeup in general. it's probably on page 2 or 3.

Kate, what a scare! so glad your grand daughter is doing ok now.



Savon, glad your back with us...learn, grow, proceed!

[KateH1]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Thanks, Det. I am so relieved that she is doing so much better!

A year ago this month, I joined MWO....Wow! So much has happened in the course of that year! I was drinking daily and had been drinking almost daily for a couple of years. The amount I was drinking and the affects of daily consumption of alcohol was taking its tole and I knew I needed help. I had tried AA and it was not the answer for me. I had been seriously considering rehab. I was scared and confused. Quite by accident (there are no accidents!!) I found MWO.......for this, I am eternally grateful!

There were people here at all stages of this process. Those still drinking, those trying to Mod, newly AF and long timers. At that time, to me, a long timer was anyone over 90 days! I started by reading the threads, and then started posting myself here and there......I began to join in chat. At that time, the board was full of helpful threads. There was lots of posting in regards to the MWO program, the supps, topa, exercise, meditation and other tools that members were finding helpful in their quest for control over alcohol.

When anyone was struggling, other members would offer help and advice, sound advice and encouragement to push through and stay sober. Sometimes it was hard to hear, but I listened and I learned. Some people were pretty strong with me....I needed that, we all need that, otherwise we fall right into our "excuses and reasons" to just keep drinking! I am so glad that all of those people that were here then and some are still here now, cared enought to reach out to me, and to put themselves on the line to tell me the truth! The TRUTH about how to make this program work for me!! It is far easier to just say something "nice" and to move on. I question all those "nice" words.......are they truly good for the person suffering and trying to get sober, or are they said only to please others and make friends, still drinking friends, no doubt! Alcoholics are "Defiant".....that is one of our biggest obstacles! Chief always says, we must "Surrender", and only then, can we get this done! He is Right!

We must make no mistake, for most of us, this is the fight of our lives. The statistics on death due to alcohol are staggering! Not to mention marriages, relationships, children, careers, health, mental health and much more, destroyed by alcohol. This is serious stuff! Joking is fine and it has its place, but, the major reason that most of us are here, is because we have a life threatening problem.

I feel badly for the new people like me coming here today. There is very little mention of the MWO program. Very little discussion on what is has worked or is working. Long Term AF'ers are told to stick only to certain AF threads. When we see somone struggling we are told to "be nice", say benign things like, "just keep going", it is only one day not AF, to one who has a week AF. And the list of nice things goes on. I believe we can be firm, yet kind. We can share helpful information. We can and should speak to serious concerns and encourage everyone here to fight for wellness!

I am tired of reading that we should look up to those that have been here the longest. The longest and still drinking to excess and drinking daily, is not what I came here for! Yes, anyone has a right to drink as often and as much as they want to. But, no, I will not look up to anyone who does, no matter how long they have been here! Just to clarify, I like a lot of people who still drink, many in fact and I feel for them, I really do. But, I do not "look up to them" as "the wise ones" when it comes to alcohol and living my life as a non-drinker.

I would love, more than anything to see this place get back to serious discussions on the MWO program and ways to get and stay sober. Does anyone else think the same?

xxxxxx Kate

[startingover]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Kate, those are wise words. This place has been my lifeline (8weeks af now) and I could not have done it without the inspiration and words from people here. I try to offer sound advice based on the little that I know of the person needing it. I guess I am fairly new and still need some experience in dealing with all the differing personalities and needs here. But, I do try to tell people that it will get easier and what I have done for myself (MWO programme) to get where I am. I will also try and snap out anyone who is just feeling sorry for themselves. I try to be encouraging when people fail so that they don't give up and just think "what the hell". It is difficult to know the best way for each person. I hope that I can make a difference here because I know how much alcohol destroys lives. It is a serious business and we are fighting for our lives. You are so right.
I hope that if I say the "wrong" thing that I will be told or advised by those that know more about this than me. I am still learning and also very grateful for the support from everyone here.

[LVT25]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Kate,

I know you have been feeling this way for some time now. In some sense I understand where you're coming from, but not totally. What I try to do is focus on the new posts under just starting out. I always recommend they read the book, and tell them what aspects of the program worked for me. Even though I might be forced to label myself as a "moderator" (I dislike that debate") I don't mention that to the newbies unless they ask. I don't know what else to do. If they don't want to read the book or follow the program, how much more of it should "I" feel responsible for?
Sometimes there are threads started that I "cringe" and think, wow. Sometimes I have to just ignore things so I don't form a negative opinion about someone who thinks differently from me. I think we can get in real trouble here trying to "debate" such things as politics and animal rights. I don't feel this is the place for that, so I choose to not read those threads.
I've noticed the ones that were "experienced" when I first started here don't post much anymore. Have they just moved on.......is this place a circle of life that passes the torch so to speak. Or are they frustrated like you?
We can't do anything about others, we can only do what we can do. I think we can do this without blame or finger pointing. Unfortunately, I think it is the nature of a substance abuser to be overly sensitive. I have seen this quite a bit here. Someone "says" something and it is totally taken out of context. That is part of co-dependency.
Now that my computer is fixed, I plan on reading here and posting to the newbies, but don't have the need or time for the "fun" threads.
MWO has changed my life, I feel like I have a few friends here. I am curious to see how things work out. Will the forums keep changing? Will they come around full circle? I am of the opinion that we need more "tough love". I'm not good at it. You and Chief and others are. I hope you guys don't give up on it, I think the newbies need you!!
I hope this makes sense. I have a hard time putting thoughts into words. :h

[A Work in Progress]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Yeah, Kate... You know, I have such a hard time with the "trying to mod" thing, and with beginners who say that they want so badly to be able to drink, and being encouraged by the idea and hope of "modding." This is so very different from what I read about in the MWO book, yet these ideas are so strongly defended and deeply entrenched, here. I didn't see anything in the book about RJ repeatedly getting drunk as she "tried to mod." And I heard her loud and clear when she made the point that, if you are going to be able to drink moderately, you'd better be coming from a place at which alcohol is just not all that important ("like butter"), yet for beginners, first-timers at the business of recovery, alcohol is usually VERY important. There's a thread going on here right now, about and by a person who says he has some days, or maybe a couple of weeks, AF and now he's planning his next occasion of having some alcohol, and he's wanting suggestions about which wine to choose... and he's getting responses... and I have such a hard time with that. Partly, I feel such fear that my own mind will just be saying "me too! I want a drink, too!" ... And I can't afford to go there, again.

I have discovered there are some people here (you among them) who are genuinely interested in and actively engaged in recovery from alcohol abuse, and willing to share your experience with those of us who are new here, and I am so very grateful for you. I also learned that many of the old-timers demand respect without telling me or other newcomers how the MWO program is helping them with their alcohol abuse problems, or what they are doing every day to engage in recovery... so I cannot imagine why I should be listening to them. I feel for them, and I am sure they are good people. But if they aren't talking at all about the MWO program for recovery from alcohol abuse/addiction, they don't have anything to offer me, because that is what I am here for.

wip

[KateH1]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

LVT, I love the thoughts you bring to this forum! I also think that you do well with putting your thoughts into words. You definitely have many friends here, as do I. I also agree with your thoughts on co-dependency, it is rampant as of late. This morning I read a post to one who is struggling hard, there was a response saying, (paraphrasing) "Don't worry honey, sometimes it takes years to get this right." I ask......how do statements like these help somone else push through a difficult time???? I think that it can become easy to get accustomed to "slipping". When given permission and excuses, slipping can become a new way of life, still drinking. Plain and simple, I hate to see people suffering.

I stay here to try to help new ones......as well as those of us that are living as non-drinkers. I gain a lot of strength from the newly AF....30, 60, 90 days and more! I love their zeal and enthusiasm! It helps me from becoming to comfortable in my own sobriety.

Startingover, Great job on 8 weeks!! I love reading your posts! It is people like you that inspire me! This is not easy, and yes, it does get easier with time and work. When I was at about 2-3 months, I began to struggle again, I read a post by Starlight Impress that was exactly what I needed at that point. She said, in order to live a happy life without alcohol, we have to change our lives, the way that we live. She was, and is right about that!! So my mission from then until now has been to do just that......it is a wonderful journey!!

Thank you and here's to Living our Best Lives!!
XXX Kate

[wonderworld]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Hi guys -

Haven't been here in a while! Always such thoughtful topics here. And I agree - I just KNOW in my gut who is genuinely dealing with the alcohol issue and who is not. For my psyche and general well-being I only discuss alcohol on the hard-working AF threads. Even when there are people still drinking but honestly looking for answers. (and I have no interest in discussions about mods at all I've finally decided. I have no experience there, nor do I strive to, so why? I'm keeping it simple)

It's a constant filtering process for me around here. And depsite what's been going on in some forums, it seems like there's some REALLY good sobriety happening on the boards these days too! Some awesome hard-working people like ourselves who are really making it happen. That's who I focus on :h.

It's a crazy world, and here's no different. Oh no.

Love you guys! :h

ww xox

[LVT25]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Thanks for starting this discussion Kate. I was getting a little bored! :H

In case you haven't noticed I have been re-reading "Co Dependent No more" . It was my "bible" many years ago, and some old feelings were coming up once I sobered up. Anyway one of our characteristics is the need to help others. When I read the posts such as the one WIP refers to, I have to remind myself that all I can do is give advice, whether they take it or not is up to them. What Kate said was perfect (and nice so I didn't respond yet) I had to find my way out, they'll have to find theirs. Some treat with kid gloves, others tough love. Some respond, some don't. It's frustrating sometimes. I was one that thought I could drink in moderation as soon as I read the book. Of course I learned the hard way I was wrong. It almost took a DUI to get it through my head I was NOT in control.
So now I ALWAYS recommend STARTING with 30 days. I cannot believe the difference it made. And all of the stuff I have learned about the addiction--that there are physical as well as psychological things going on! Fascinates me still. The point is--there's only so much we can do, the rest is up to them.
Anyway, I think we need to continue giving our opinions and relating our experiences with "My Way Out" and hopefully it will help someone. :h

Good to see ya Wonderworld!! :h :l