Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

[livingfree]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

LVT - I know you have been attempting moderating and I know how hard you've worked at quitting smoking -- so thank you for sharing this. So when you drank - did yo feel like you were in total control? How much did you drink? And smoking ... did it set off cravings to start again? Or was it just an event? You said you feel awful -- do you mean just physically or mentally? Sorry to drill so many questions - but I'm trying to get a view of the big picture for you. Just wanted to let you know - I am here for you anytime -- you can always use that phone number when you need a motivator in those triggers!!!

Det - good points on the blood work. I don't know how old you are Momof3 - but if you are anywhere close to 40 you would do well to have your hormones checked. You too Luv Bug!!

WW - I remember now where I heard that story. Moderation Management has been under major default ever since this accident. I don't even know if they are still an org. I'll hav eto look that up!

Wip - are you in the medical/Physc field? You have so much great information.

Brit - I really think you would like the book End your addiction Now. It also helps people get OFF anti Depressants. What does that tell you about anti depressants?!! They can mess you up! I'm with you on that one - NO AD's for me!! Ikes.

MO3- I think you are ready to really work on area's you have never considered! You ARE going to get feeling better. Keep exploring all the tool box!!

Have a great day all

[A Work in Progress]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Det: yeah, I did read all the way through the "Addiction is a Choice" book, but/and realized that this guy has way too big and strong an agenda, and I find that raises red flags for me. People engaged in the science of psychology (including assessment, research, and treatment of alcohol/drug-related problems) should maintain a bit of a detached, interested, curious stance, not one of rigid certainty.

What's a "triangle club"?

Liv: along with a couple of other of the professional hats that I wear, I am a psychology professor. And I guess I spend too much time reading!

wip

[KateH1]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

I love this thread! It truly is a place where I come to hear how others are growing in their lives as non-drinkers! Since this thread began, shortly after I reached 30 days, it has continually evolved, new members have joined in and it is a calm and thoughtful place in the storm. Many of us have come to understand that putting alcohol out of our lives, living without drinking is only the first step in learning to live as non-drinkers, and to live happily and fulfilled as non-drinkers. Instead of non-drinkers wishing they could drink normally....(whatever normally really is!) The way we do this is by changing our lives and most of all, changing our thinking. We are truly learning that here on this thread!

I do believe that Meditation is a key to clear thinking and good choices.
I do believe it is important to comunicate regularly with those that are comitted to happy and fulfilled sober living.
I do believe that letting go of the thought of drinking again, thinking we will "learn" to moderate, is a HUGE key.
I do believe that believing that WE the Non-Drinkers are truly the Lucky ones, to have found this way of living is a key!

Thank you all, my friends, you are so loved and valued by me!!
Happy Sunday!
XXX Kate

[momof3]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Happy Sunday All,

Thanks again for all of your posts yesterday. I am ready to start the week with a new attitude!

Some of you spoke about getting my hormones checked, I'm assumming you mean thyroid, female hormones, etc. Yep, have had them checked...I am hypothyroid and being treated for it. Yep, in the perimenopausal phase of my life too. Fortunately, I have a good doctor who practices both conventional and internal medicine.

mo3

[wonderworld]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Good morning Non-drinkers!

Agreed Kate! This thread is awesome! I just posted this on the long term subs thread - but wanted to plunk it down here too.

.................................................. .........


As the Fall starts to takes shape, I'm thinking about the year ahead (maybe left over from when I was a kid? the 'school year' ? ), and what my intentions are. My birthday is October 1, and I have a sense of cleaning up loose ends and getting super organized, and then starting my 46th year with as much clarity as possible. I will be AF this coming year and in other areas, well, I want results! And I can have them. For me - it's about moving from the "survival mode" of early sobriety into more fully realizing my potential in several areas that really matter to ME. The big ones: physical health and career/finances. The simplicity and energy-efficiency of an AF life make all kinds of things possible. For me - it's about getting clear on my intentions and then staying focused and applying effort. duh. But that simple formula falls by the wayside when I'm all jumbled in alcohol or other nonsense that doesn't serve the greater good. Problem drinking may be progressive, but so is sobriety!

Another wonderful revelation - more just saying "no" ! To all KINDS of things! For many years, I felt like I had to "fit" into the drinking world as a sober person. That I had to prove I was "normal" by doing whatever the drinkers are doing, but doing it AF. I confused "blending in to the drinking world" with "being okay". No more! Part of the reason I drank so much was because I was often doing things I didn't REALLY want to do, and drinking to make them fun or at least tolerable. What if I just say "no" a little more often? Yes!! i.e I was invited to a big social thing next week where, to be honest, I have no real obligation, it's not "my crowd" or my kind of party (AL or no), and if i went it would just be because I felt too guilty to say no to the person who asked me ( who will be just fine if I don't go p.s.). I'd rather do something else altogether with that time. So here's a situation where it's just fine to say no, and yet, in the past I wouldn't have.

I know there are family, work and social obligations that I will continue to have to meet no matter what - but I'm finding that there are so many more options, in terms of choosing how I spend my time and energy , than I had ever realized before. The power of "no" is glorious!!! And it's not coming from a place of fear or avoidance, but from INTENTION.

Does that make sense to anyone?

............................

Love you guys! :h

ww xox

[startingover]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

[QUOTE][/it's about moving from the survival mode of early sobriety into more fully realizing my potential in several areas that really matter to MEQUOTE]

I can so resonate with that WW. I think I maybe approaching that time now. From being startstruck about being af (still am) I need to move forwards with it and start using it for me. And it is a bit scary. I think that is where I always went wrong before. I am not drinking or moderating......then what??? Now I know its a learning and growing process, so even though I am spending loads of time here I am starting (slowly) to make some changes in my life. Today I have started an open university course in psychology. It is for people who have never studied before or for ages and if I succeed I can then start to work towards a degree! It is daunting, but it is for me, to improve my confidence and self worth that have been lacking for so many years.
I really believe that without this place I wouldn't be doing any of this.
Have a great af Sunday everyone xxx

[A Work in Progress]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Kate and WW, those are GREAT posts! Cannot tell you how grateful I am to be in contact with the two of you (and some of the other wonderful folks here at MWO). When I read your posts, I find that I am nearly always nodding my head in agreement, because what is important to you is NOT alcohol, but LIFE, freedom, clarity, compassion, all the things that mean everything to me.

Sorry to say, I sometimes feel VERY impatient with those who insist on futzing around with ALCOHOL: how much is it OK to drink, and how often; starting and stopping and modding and trying-to-mod and slipping and falling and getting drunk... Good heavens! Isn't it OBVIOUS that it's insane to be so wrapped up in a f@ing DRUG?

And yet I am well aware that it wasn't obvious to me (or not obvious enough), for years at a time. In some areas of life, the best if not the ONLY way to help or teach people, is by example. The two of you are doing it beautifully.

StartingO: you're doing beautifully! You are an inspiration to me.

wip

[wonderworld]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Love you WIP :upset: !

ww xox

[KateH1]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

WIP, I am honored and humbled. Truly. I am so happy that you showed up here! I truly learn from your wisdom and experience. I like your pragmatic appoach to not drinking! But, more than that I like you!!

XXX Kate

[startingover]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Me Too wipster !!!!!!!!!

[brittzak]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

This is a very positive place to come each day. Very strong place, especially for someone newly sober. When first moving in to a AF life, there is a certain amount of stress and emotion going on internally. Life can be a bit overwhelming in this adjustment at times. It is good to have an place to regroup and refuel with positive thoughts.

[kriger]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

We do have so many VERY WISE women here! I, too, find myself having a little impatience with people who mod, then slip, then get drunk, then start all over again...and start all over again. It just seems like a simple choice to remove AL completely. It is NOT a SIMPLE choice; alcohol has truly been a friend to many people here (I never felt that way but I think I understand it). I have had to rethink and realize that everyone is quite different and they will arrive at their OWN path whatever that may be, in their own time. I am coming from a place of gratitute right now and a "live and let live" attitude. Self knowledge does not come quickly and I have to trust that "it is all good". I am happy to have all of you at my side and I will rely on you for many moons to come. Thank you for being here! Kriger

[cymru]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Just read the whole of this thread for the first time and thought it was brill, with so many wise words. I often wonder why i went back to drinking after 4 and a half years abstinence. My life was great, i had a great relationship and a well paid job that i enjoyed. Over the last 2 years ive slowly but surely thrown it away, while all the time asking that question. This thread has helped answer alot. Some inspirational posts. Thanks all.

[startingover]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Cym, it sounds like you are totally embracing this lifestyle. That is so great to hear!

[KateH1]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Hi cymru and welcome!
So happy to hear that this has helped! It sounds like you have a lot of experience and wisdom to share with all of us. I would love to hear about your sobriety time, did you white knuckle? Were there obvious "stages" and what was the process right before taking that first drink again? I am certain that most, if not all (I think All is correct! would really love for you to share with us!

Best Wishes!
Kate