Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

[A Work in Progress]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Yes, I think you are right, Kate, certainly I would love to hear more. Cym, how has it been, for you?

wip

[startingover]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

And me !!!

[LVT25]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Some great posts here today! Wonderworld yours in particular has given me more food for thought. Thank you for taking the time to share it.
I really admire all of you people that get this al thing right the first time! I think I have an easier time compared to most, but some of you all seem to really have it down! :goodjob:
I want to say "must be nice" but that doesn't really seem appropriate.
In Church today there was talk about the "Race for the Cure." I have never considered doing anything of the kind--I don't run. But I need to step out of my comfort zone, and this would definately qualify! I'm going to hear more about it tomorrow as I try to keep up with them as they train. My main question is: can I walk? I have to believe the good Lord is giving me the motivation I need to get healthy here!
Have a great Sunday all.:h

[startingover]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Hi LV over here in the UK we have "Race for Life" its a race for women of 5k to raise money for a cancer charity. It is absolutely great for all abilities and you can walk, run or run/walk if you want to. It is such a great thing to get involved in. I think you will have loads of fun! Good luck.

[LVT25]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Hey, thanks starting! This one is in Denver, so maybe some other MWO members from around here could join me and we could have MWO for the cure t-shirts!

[startingover]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

That's a nice idea LV. But wouldnt everyone be saying "there go the alkies" as you all ran past ? LoL

[Determinator]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

wonderful posts here in the "happy hood"

I just got back from the shooting range and just have to share this cute moment I saw: a daddy was showing his three daughters (I'd guess 7, 8 and 9 years old) how to safely shoot. Dad fired a round and it missed and he was explaining to them how to adjust the sights when one little girl innocently asked: 'daddy, what if you are just a bad shot and that's why it missed?' hahahaha! I tried so hard to not laugh out loud. the girls would also smack their dad on the butt and scold him when we swore. So by the end of the morning the girls were shooting well and dad was cured of his potty-mouth.

awwwww, its' been a nice weekend things I'd never do when drinking or hungover thats for sure.

WW I can very much relate to the importance to the word 'no'. I long had associated 'no' with connotations of negativity. After reading Tolle's book 'a new earth' and his discussion of what a "good no" means I've really had an awakening regarding this intention you speak of.

off to watch a movie with my sweetie.....

be well friends

[cymru]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Ive always been a drinker. I was brought up in a restaurant, and my mother used to drink quite alot. Since my teens i remember taking bottles of white wine from the bar and drinking them in my room. Things were o.k. as a teen, as it seemed 'normal' I think a turning point was losing my licence in my early twenties. Instead of sorting myself out i just went off the rails. I dont think having a wealthy family helped, cause i had a flat bought for me, and had no concept of real life, paying bills etc, and at the same time my drinking was going out of control.
At 25 my daughter was born, but that didnt stop me and i just wasted years getting wrecked. I got a house(which i didnt pay for) and could of really pushed on from there. But, i just pushed it all away for booze and my partner at the time left with our child after 6 months(no blame, i put her through hell).
In june 2002 i got a job that i really enjoyed, but carried on drinking, sometimes in work. I could see that this was going to lose me my job, but didnt care, lying to take time off to drink.
One morning in nov 2002 i just woke up and decided i didnt want to drink anymore. That was it. No real side effects or cravings. It was something i WANTED to do and i embraced it and found it easy. Enjoyable. For 4 years i put myself into work completley. Lived for it. Loved it and did well, paying for myself and my daughter(who i never lost conntact with and have always had time for). Found myself a wonderfull girl(who im still with, god bless her).
But i worked long long hours and i think after time it took its tole. I started feeling down, and this point is a big part of why i started again.
I think in all the time i was drinking i didnt deal with emotions or problems. I had no real feel for real life. When i quit, i loved my life, and was happy, rarely sad and dealt with things simply cause there wasnt much emotionaly to deal with. When the pressure got to me for the first time in all that alc free time i just didnt know how to deal with it emotionly. It was all new to me sober, and i didnt like it.
So one night, at the beginning of a 2 week hol, i decided to have a drink, and it wasnt just the one, after 4 and a half years i went on a bender and it all started going down hill from there.
And now ive decided to get rid of that self pity, cause i have a wonderfull 8 year old(upstairs in bed right now) and a loving girlfriend and family.
Could go on but i think ive rambled enough for now.
Thanks to everyone for there continued support.
Together we can do this.
G

[brittzak]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Cymru, good to have you here. You are not unlike many of us. One drink means MANY drinks. So, you must learn to never take that first drink. No amount of time erases the fact that alcohol is forever taboe. We are all leaning how to live as non-drinkers here. Alcohol is plentiful.....but, there are TONS of people that live as non-drinkers and it isn't a problem in their daily lives. They still attend functions, weddings, funerals, etc...they have punch..the regular kind. I think we put so much stress on "worrying" about living without alcohol, that many times we set ourselves of for failure. I had 8 months AF last year and I relapsed because I thought ...."8 months, I got this now"....wasn't long before I was right back where I started. You can do this. Join in any time. read the book and try some of the supps. WELCOME

[KateH1]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

LVT, I assure you, it this has not been easy at all, at least for me. In the beginning, the first several months, in fact, it was a struggle, at first daily and at times, hourly. As time went on, it became less of a constant struggle. The biggest reason for this change has been my "complete surrender". Chief taught me, that the only way to stop the constant struggle was to surrender and accept that I will never drink again. At the time that he told me this, I thought that I had already decided that I would live AF for the rest of my life. But, I now realize that surrender is different than that. Surrender is really not grieving alcohol, not thinking about alcohol and moving in a completely different direction!

Cymru, You have an interesting story for sure. We all begin drinking for a multitude of reasons, we also find a multitude of reasons (excuses) to continue drinking......crazy...??? But, glad you found us, and I hope you find what you are looking for, many of us have! Sounds, like you have a good life that will truly be great, when you live as a non-drinker again!

Brit, it s good to have you here, fighting the good fight! Hope you had a great time with the kids this weekend!

[LVT25]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Kate, I understand that this hasn't been easy for you. That wasn't really the right word. I guess from reading all of the posts on this thread (so far to page 55) some of you seem to have never drank once you found MWO. I just think that is really impressive. I guess I'm a little jealous.
I'm proud of you (if I may) and I'm trying to soak up all I can from this thread until I do figure my way out, out.

:h:l

[A Work in Progress]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

from reading all of the posts on this thread (so far to page 55) some of you seem to have never drank once you found MWO. I just think that is really impressive. I guess I'm a little jealous.

LV, I have been thinking about that same question. I think that, for me, it is just not something I would do, to come to a site like this UNTIL I am totally ready to make changes. I am very stubborn, that way. It was the same way when I went to AA, years ago. I would never have gone there unless I was convinced that my life was totally in the toilet, or nearly there. And once I got there, I was ready to do anything to get sober. They told me to do 90 meetings in 90 days; I did 90 meetings in 90 days. And so on. But I think there are a lot of people who approach this kind of offer of help (AA, MWO, whatever) in a different way, and possibly at an earlier stage in their progression of readiness. It could be described as being more of a "questioning" stage of their understanding about their alcohol problem. In psychology, there is a whole theory of the "stages of change," that describes how people progress from a total lack of understanding that something is problematic to them, to some questioning about how much of a problem it is, followed by a realization that change is necessary, and finally, engaging in change (and sustaining the changes). Does that ring true to you, at all?

wip

[KateH1]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Oh, LVT, I took no offense at your "easy" comment. It is true, from the time that I joined this thread, I have not had a drink. But then again, I think that I was either 6 or 7 weeks alcohol free at that time. A quick recap of my time here before that. I joined In September of 2007, I was fed up and scared that my life was truly out of control due to my drinking. I still went to work every day, though some days it was really hard and I knew that I was not performing at my peak! Not even close on many days. I was depressed and anxious every day and I thought about drinking constantly. I joined here thinking that I could learn to moderate my drinking. For the I tried multiple times, sometimes with moderate success, but I would always end up getting drunk after a few days of "moderating". In Oct. I bought the book, then the supps and the Kudzu. I got very busy with work and family stuff and did not read the book until the end of October.....After reading the book in 3 days.....I got out a legal pad and began reading it for the second time, I began to map out my plan of action and I set my start date at Dec. 3. I wanted to be alcohol free during the holidays....I made it 28 days, decided that I could now drink moderately.....I of course got really, really drunk instead and the next day I stopped for good! I got serious about the excercise, daily meditation, the supps and reading books about changing my thinking....I stayed very close here and in particular I stayed close to a few here that were dead serious about living AF. There were days that I wanted to drink, days with really horrible anxiety, days where I just plain wanted a drink! But, I guess I wanted to be sober more! So many here talked me through some rough days during those early times.....it paid off to stick to others that were comitted and not listen to those that gave me permission to fail! I am eternally grateful for their support and tough love! The rest is all in this thread........

LVT, I am impressed that you have taken on reading this entire thread. One day, I want to do the same! I hope that you are getting as much out of it as I have! You are a very special woman!!

XXXX Kate

[Determinator]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

LVT, I'm one of those wooden-headed guys that definitely didn't go AF right off the bat. I had to prove to myself that Mods was either impossible or not worth the enormous struggle. If I used the energy I wasted trying to mod in a more productive way I'd probably have a PHD by now. arg! but the good news is that it did finally 'click' for me after many falls on my head. My last multi-day bender in early February somehow allowed me to see myself from a different perspective. Being honest with myself has been my biggest ally for sure. It's not easy! hang in there....

[LVT25]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Hey, thanks Kate and Det for the background! So you're human beings after all!!!:H
I especially liked the warm fuzzy Kate!:h

WIP--I also went back and read your post from this morning and will admit I didn't quite read it right the 1st time. I think you're right about the stages of change. I watched 28 Days this afternoon. I've seen it before, years ago, but it was quite interesting to watch it again now at this stage in my life.
Well, the kids are bugging me to watch a movie with them. Gotta get rid of this damn MWO addiction now!!!:H

Good nite all!