Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

[livingfree]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Hey all! I had to get this off of page 2 so I can find it easier!! I'm back from a busy weekend and a class for my CE hours. Busy Busy!

Some great things to catch up on here -- I'll be back when I have a break to catch up! But one quick response to LVT -- I had TRIED to quit drinking for OVER 10 years!! I found this site at about the same time that something just broke in me and deep in my gut it was quit now. I'll think about that more ... but this was the FIRST time I ever reached out for help. Maybe that was the difference. If I had reached out for help AND kept drinking here - I probably wouldn't have come back ... as it would have been just "another" vain attempt to "find what worked" for me. Make sense?? I'm rambling!

I've got to work now - but will check in and read more later!!

Love to you all!

[A Work in Progress]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

But one quick response to LVT -- I had TRIED to quit drinking for OVER 10 years!! I found this site at about the same time that something just broke in me and deep in my gut it was quit now. I'll think about that more ... but this was the FIRST time I ever reached out for help. Maybe that was the difference. If I had reached out for help AND kept drinking here - I probably wouldn't have come back ...

Liv, that is what I did, too. I think that it is sort of related to the phenomenon of "asking for directions." I know that is stereotypically a gender-related thing (women will do it, men won't) but some women don't like to ask for directions, either. As for me, I am not really ready to say I have a problem until I have the problem all worked out in my head. I do a lot of trial-and-error (LOTS of that being "error") on my own. I don't like to let people see that I am making "mistakes" (and this is self-deception, of course, everyone in my life can see when I am making mistakes). If I had come here before I was totally ready to quit, and then continued to drink, I would have been very unlikely to stick around. For me, MWO (or AA or whatever support group I am using) is necessary for me, not to get me to the point of quitting, but to help me to STAY "quit."

wip

[momof3]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Hi All,

LVT--Just wanted to respond to your post as well....I found MWO over 1 year ago. I have had some experiences with fairly long sobriety but always returning to AL. I was originally attracted to the site because of the idea of moderating...went the whole route, supplements, topa, CDs, etc. I failed miserably at mods so now I have been AF for almost 5 mos. and I am committed to staying AL free this time.

This is a really great thread...lots of serious work and thinking on staying sober and how to live life to the fullest.

Det, WW, WIP, based on your recommendations to start living in a healthier way and not looking at what I've lost (from AL), but what I have gained and can gain, I have enrolled in a Tai Chi class that begins next week. I will be going twice per week and I think this will be a nice balance to my exercise program. I'm working hard at staying strong and positive. :thanks:

mo3

[wonderworld]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

momof3 - that's so cool! any practice that synchronizes body and mind like that has got to be beneficial for "what ails us" Awesome attitude !!!

I've been back to exercising too and feeling great. Next stop for me: Bikram Yoga - the kind you do in a heated room. There's a great place near here I've been meaning to try for like ...... 5 years . Well, I'm ready!


And..... LVT..... you're so cute! First timer ?!?! :H Oh that's rich. I've been quitting drinking my whole life! This would be .... the fourth time overall. And since MWO? Well, I joined in October, and my last drink was in January.
It's been a lifelong topic of study..... trust me

Love ww xox

[wonderworld]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

oh - and meant to say - good to meetcha cym! :welcome:

And nice to have you around! I can tell you have much to contribute here.

Looking forward to hearing more......

ww xox

[A Work in Progress]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Good for you, mo3!!!

WW, I tried bikram yoga ONCE, and nearly threw up towards the end of the session. I was trying too hard (first time ever doing yoga!), and the room was SO damn hot, I never went back and did not do ANY kind of yoga for 10 years after that! Let us know how it goes (I know you are already experienced in yoga)!

wip

[livingfree]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

WIP - I spewed all over my keyboard imagining you running out of the sweat room ... too funny. Mabye you should start with a simple steam shower workout and work your way up into it. WW - I'm counting on you to find a good photo to download with this :H
Also - you must be my twin ...

"As for me, I am not really ready to say I have a problem until I have the problem all worked out in my head. I do a lot of trial-and-error (LOTS of that being "error") on my own. I don't like to let people see that I am making "mistakes" (and this is self-deception, of course, everyone in my life can see when I am making mistakes)." wip

That is me through and through!

WW - we will be your side line - keeping track of the yoga class. I need to get my buns out of bed earlier in the day .... you guys are making me feel really lazy!

MO3 -- You really sound better today - with calm resolve. I am serious about the Landmark Education. Look up the website hon!

Kate & Det ... I was so glad you both re-shared your stories of when you started on MWO. As the months go by - one forgets where we came from. I never want to forget. Lest I think "I have it figured out".

LVT - Knowing who are your triggers (people that is) - maybe you could write them each a note, telling them how you would love hanging out with them, but you feel it's best to avoid situations that make you want to "join the fun with them". That your quitting smoking is the most important thing to you and you must guard it. Who knows, you might just turn them into advocates for you. I have found that as people have found out how much I had been beaten down with this beast - they rally to my side and are now very protective over my non drinking lifestyle. There will always be those who want you to join them ... no matter the cost to you .... and those ppl should be considered fellow problem drinkers ... whom you SHOULD avoid. My new motto has been - health begets health. Illness begets illness. I surround myself with healthy people and it makes my life work. I keep unhealthy minds at an arms length from me. I just have to.

Night all

[LVT25]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

I, too, love this thread. And now I am little less intimidated by it!! :H Thank you guys so much for your sharing and support!!:h

I have questions right now though.

WW--I think we should get to vote on your avatar. Personally I hate it when people change their look (although I did recognize yours). I prefer Laurie. And, is this type of yoga performed naked? Because I've heard of that.

Momof3--Can you describe Tai Chi to me? I could look it up I guess. They are starting a class here, I'm interested.

I've started "training" for the Race for the Cure" in Denver next month. Feels pretty good today, but if i don't check in tomorrow, you better send someone to check on me.

[A Work in Progress]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

There will always be those who want you to join them ... no matter the cost to you .... and those ppl should be considered fellow problem drinkers ... whom you SHOULD avoid. My new motto has been - health begets health. Illness begets illness. I surround myself with healthy people and it makes my life work. I keep unhealthy minds at an arms length from me. I just have to.

Liv: You said it, sister! Very hard (and sometimes VERY painful) lesson to learn, very hard to practice, but utterly essential.

wip

[LVT25]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

The fog is so thick I simply better not get out there yet and ride my bike!:H

"Liv: You said it, sister! Very hard (and sometimes VERY painful) lesson to learn, very hard to practice, but utterly essential."

Excellent advice. BUT. I don't want to risk losing certain relationships because I can't learn to control myself. This particular SIL is very supportive. She's one of the few friends I have that I'm comfortable discussing the AL issues with. She quit drinking for 2 years at one point in her life. No one has ever encouraged me to drink or smoke, I didn't mean to give that impression. We do have some friends that are problem drinkers--but still very good people. My husband included. I feel like I have to learn to live in society comfortably without the bad habits. I realize this will take time. Fortunately my in-laws live 10 hours away. I probably won't go to her 50th birthday party. This sucks! I've lost enough friends to not want to waste any time with the ones I still have here on earth. But until I learn to be comfortable in my own "skin" I guess that's the sacrifice I will have to make. Most of them will understand.
Make sense??

Love you all!:h

[KateH1]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

LVT, good for you on doing the Race for the Cure! I did this a couple of times (walking only! as my knees can no longer take running!). You will really enjoy it! There is so much wonderful energy amongst the women, during the race! Survivors and Supporters alike, really become a unifide unit to speak out against this horrible disease! Now you have me thinking if I should join in again!

This makes me think.........wouldn't it be great to start a Race for Sobriety! When we think of the many millions that suffer and whose lives are destroyed by alcohol......it makes sense!

I will write more later......gotta run.....well.....walk really!!

Wishing All a Wonderful Non-drinking day!!
xxx Kate

[momof3]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Good Morning to Ya

Hi All, Thanks for the positive thoughts, deep thinking, and motivation to keep on keeping on...

WW: I have tried Bikram Yoga and loved it...will sweat every toxin out of your body for sure. I kept to the corner of the room near the door where it was less hot (and I could escape really quickly if needed) for the first few times and of course drank lots and lots of water.

WIP: The Landmark program sounds very good and timely. Don't have the finances right now but will definitely keep it on my "need to learn more about this" list. And, in that line, what do you think you gained from the program? How has it helped you to live a great, Alcohol Free life?

LVT: Hmm...hard for me to really describe Tai Chi since I have no direct experience with it yet. I have heard it described as a "moving meditation," "very healing," a "gentle martial art, " "decreasing stress and increasing energy"...that's enough for me, I'm there. I will definitely keep you posted on my experiences.

Also, I read your post on drinking and relationships with alot of interest and I could relate to it. I am really working on this with my friendships. I don't have any people who abuse alcohol in my life really but a lot of my socializing has been around drinking. For example, girls weekends away (drink, go out to eat, drink, go to the spa, drink); vacations (good excuse to start drinking earlier in the day); traveling and visiting with old friends (me having too much wine around the dinner table). I have some really great friends and most of them drink, but don't abuse it.

It has been hard for me to be around others who are drinking and NOT drink, but I have found that it is more my problem, my issue than theirs...they don't really care. I also struggle around whether or not I can have "fun" with others when not drinking (for example, what's a girls weekend away without drinking?, i.e., that's what goes on in my head).

It is still not easy and I do find myself limiting my social life to some extent because it is sometimes just too damn hard to be around others who drink. I have a lot to work out, redefine, and learn in this area. I find myself "doing lunches" or going out for morning coffee more now rather than meeting someone for dinner where alcohol is more likely to be involved. Not saying that this is the best approach but I'm doing the best I can (or am I?) Any suggestions from others are welcome, welcome, welcome.

Be well!
m03

[momof3]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Liv, My previous approach re: Landmark was in response to your post...trying to keep all of the names straight here
mo3

[momof3]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Liv, My previous post re: Landmark was in response to your post...trying to keep all of the names straight here
mo3

[Determinator]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Mom of 3, what wise words of yours:

It has been hard for me to be around others who are drinking and NOT drink, but I have found that it is more my problem, my issue than theirs...they don't really care.

right on the head!

T'ai Chi Chuan is a wonderful practice. I studied Yang style while in Hawaii and it was marvelous.

I still find myself being cautious to go to social events that are not heavy with booze. not so much because I'm fearful that I'll cave but because they are really just not fun anymore. There are so many wonderful and inspiring things to enjoy that are healthy.....