Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

[Beck]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Thanks Liv, I really need to feel like a non-drinker again but I'm all over the place right now. This morning I was so relieved that i knew I could never drink again. It just takes the issue off the table altogether. By the afternoon, I thought I could have a glass of wine!!! No, I didn't do it. Just need to get my head back together first. I know it is going to happen but it will take some time.

[livingfree]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

And time is what you have sweetie. Each day is going to be a new day in time to be a non drinker. I think it is important for you to post here as you feel like it - as I really can learn so much from your experience in having the AF time, and then drinking again ... it can help me to stay firm on my "non drinking" lifestyle "building". If I can help you in any way - let me know. I want you to feel strength in your honesty and open conversations. I know you will have some days that you feel like this - but you will get it back. Thanks so much for sharing ...

:l

[momof3]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Liv,

I was very touched by your post about your meeting with Kate...must have been a wonderful time. The way you described Kate...authentic...I think that is what we all strive for in our sobriety. That is, becoming more of who we really are. I am beginning to see that unfolding in myself as I approach 5 months of sobriety. It is extremely empowering...watch out world!

:thanks:mo3

[livingfree]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

momof3;413509 wrote: authentic...I think that is what we all strive for in our sobriety. That is, becoming more of who we really are. I am beginning to see that unfolding in myself as I approach 5 months of sobriety. It is extremely empowering...watch out world!

:thanks:mo3

You are SO right on! Once I figured how "in-authentic" I had been in my life - everything changes! It's possible to be authentic once you realize how important it is to you! You are sounding like you are really gaining strength by the day! Go Girl! I am really proud of you!

[wonderworld]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Good morning friends I need to catch up with!

I wanted to share this piece from SMART Recovery with you guys - I found it so....... interesting

............................................


BACKWARD STEPS TO ADDICTIVE BEHAVIORS

TRIGGERS ? External, interpersonal, and intrapersonal. Which areas are the riskiest for
you? Which do you have the most difficulty combating? Rate each category from 0-10
(where 10 is the riskiest or most difficult).

a.____ Conditioned responses in certain settings
b.____ Unpleasant emotions
c.____ Unpleasant physical sensations
d.____ Pleasant emotions
e.____ Pressure from others
f.____ Conflict with others
g.____ Socializing
h.____ Testing personal control



IMAGINING/FANTASIZING ? Start to imagine what it would be like to... how you
would feel, how you would think and act ... then...



?STINKING THINKING? ? Irrational beliefs, cognitive distortions, and
rationalizations that you used to convince yourself to take the backward step.

a.____Negative exaggeration; awfulizing; catastrophizing.

b.____Self-downing / self denigration.


c.____ Rationalizations:

?It won?t really matter."
"I deserve it.?
?I will only have one.?
?It?s been a long time.?

d.____Low frustration tolerance:

"I can?t stand it.?
?It?s awful.?

e.____The tyranny of the "should":

?It shouldn?t be so hard.?
?I shouldn?t have this problem.?
?S/he shouldn?t speak to me that way.?
"The world stinks, and it shouldn?t!?

.................................................. .................................................. .....


Geez. I'm SO unique LOL!!!

ww xox

[livingfree]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Wow - great information WW! Thank you!

[Determinator]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

sorry I've been a stranger. on the road just constantly. arg!

zoom zoom be well everyone!

[livingfree]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

'bout time Det .... your work is getting in the way here .... Thought I was going to have to send out the big guns to find you. :yukko:

[Thankful]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Hello all.

Wow, it's really taken awhile to get caught up on all that reading. I am so glad everyone is doing do well. Beck, stick with us, ok hun?

I love how this thread is just thriving. And seeing so many new people here is absolutely awesome! As I was reading all the past posts, I wanted to comment on so many, but it just turned into too much. I can see I missed a lot of great discussions. I will try to get here more.

I am still AF. And I am very comfortable in being so. Being away would never mean I was drinking. If anything, I would be here in a heart beat if a picked up a drink. I have a struggle here and there, but I am mostly just living. Just going about my life not really thinking about drinking. I like that I can do that now. I thought I would never get here. But as time goes on, it's just a matter of fact. "No thank you, I don't drink". Best words I've ever uttered about myself. No remorse, no jealously of others drinking. I truly like not drinking. The only time I hate being around others is when they are drinking too much and are being obnoxious. And that actually helps my AF convictions.

Thanks for "nudge" Liv. You are a sweetheart! I didn't mean to make anyone worry. I love you all so much!

Love, Me
:l

[LVT25]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Good to see you back Thankful! I really miss Liv, but I need to wean myself off this place at least a little myself!

Sounds like you are doing great, and I for one appreciate your posting about it.

I feel like I'm doing a pretty good job finding My way out. I am finding myself or changing a little--not really sure which. I know I feel different anyway. I'm still struggling a little physically with fatigue and some whopper headaches. Might have to break down and either have the ole hormone levels checked or something!!
I had a couple of tiny glasses of champagne at a wedding reception last night. Could have stayed home real easy, but obligated to go since it is the son of a good friend of mine that was killed in a car accident a few years ago. I cried when I got home, I really miss her and feel bad for her kids, she's not here for their special times/grandkids. Looking at the wedding pictures there is this big empty spot by her husband--where she should be.
Anyway, I still find it REALLY difficult to sit and visit without a beer and a ciggie in my hand. But I did my best and we left fairly early. Watching the drunks, I just kept telling myself how much better I would feel this morning than they would!
Hubby even met us at Church today!! Progress???? Friends stopped over for a bit with a 12 pack, but I just said no thanks. Happy with my iced tea.
So it's good. I really like being sober.
Thanks for bringing this thread back up----it's been getting lost lately.:h

[Determinator]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

hey gang!

yes good thoughts indeed: I truly like not drinking

Glad you are good Thankful, LVT you made it through some really tough stuff without going down for the count. good!

this last week and a half of travel were tough workwise but not so tough in the staying AF department. i don't know why that is...perhaps because I was so busy? and because I managed to eat alone most nights which sadly I really enjoy. is that sad? maybe not. I don't feel bad about it but I really just like eating with my wife or alone. hmmmmm.

well, Monday is here soon. rest up me darlings

[momof3]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

5 months AF

Good Morning All,

I passed the 5 month mark of being AF this weekend...I feel like I am finally turning the corner and many thanks to this thread because of that. I'm now focusing more on what I'm gaining from being AF rather than mourning over not being able to drink again. When my minds goes there I say "no, no no..."

Started a tai chi class last week. I think I'm really going to enjoy it.

Have a great day everyone
Mo3

[Guest]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Mom of 3 , how proud of yourself are you! Well done. Gia Im starting with you and Pops today. Day 1 for us , to day 30 and beyond.....

[A Work in Progress]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Hey, everyone! Folks here are doing just great! Det, I like to eat alone, too, when I am traveling on business. Seems that the evenings in business travel are just too closely associated with drinking, for me, and I rarely am with colleagues who want to go out for dinner, unless they also want to drink. I enjoy finding a nice place, and taking a book with me, then going for a walk and a nice sober bedtime. I've had way too many hung-over mornings in hotels, when I needed to be at my best, and I certainly was not.

Limers, good for you! And, momof3, BIG CONGRATULATIONS on 5 months AF!!! LV, you did great.

I'm doing fine, need to do a lot of catching-up this week on a lot of things that were neglected while my mother was in hospitals. Not enjoying, it but it sure feels good to get it done.

wip

[startingover]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Hi there, it is lovely to read so many upbeat success stories. I need that desperately.

I have just had my first AF holiday ever i think, well since I was tiny anyway. It was really amazing. I didnt miss drinking and I spent the time that I would have been drinking reading. I read 7 books!!!! The chap in the bookshop probably thought I was a bit mad going back all the time and choosing recovery book after recovery book, but hey, whatever works. And it did. Hubby drinks, not badly and he can handle it but it meant that we would call in a pub every day on our hikes. It wasnt too much of a problem and it was strange, where the pub used to be the highlight of my day it had changed. Now the walking, the reading and lazing about were my highlights. I am not pretending i t is easy, but it is so rewarding. I am learning (slowly) how to live a new life. I like it.