Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

[livingfree]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Hey Hey Hey

I was checking in - and who do I see but my dear friend Thankful! How excited am I! We are 18 months girlfriend! Who could have guessed! Doesn't it feel awesome! I would love an update on your life woman!

Here is a big hug and a bigger CONGRATULATIONS! A YEAR AND A HALF WITH OUT THE BEAST BREATHING DEATH DOWN OUR THROATS!

Did I tell you I got to meet KateH1 face to face last fall! It was awesome. We have a lot of catching up to do!

Love to you
Liv:h

[KateH1]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

I started reading through this old thread and decided to bump it up! Lots of great stuff here!!

[catch22]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

I got to say i love this thread when i was on here for the 2 months i was AF it really help me:l......

[LVT25]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

I was looking at some old posts so I could reminisce about my first encounter with Mom of 3 (who is now 2 years sober BTW) and ended up reading a few pages here. This was a wonderful thread for me and these people are the reason I am still sober today!
:thanks:

[mollyka]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Super thread LVT, have just browsed through a lot of it and really got so much out of it - stuff I needed to hear at the moment actually. There are some points made by KateH1 on page 112 that I agree with and have felt for a while as well. I'm all for encouragement but sometimes I feel straight truths need to be told. What is the point in telling someone time after time when they go back to the booze that 'its ok' or 'its the AF days' that count. This is a very big battle and needed to be treated as such. Ok of course we all cock up - me more than any probably but I feel uncomfortable when repeating 'offenders' are sort of justified here. Hope no one takes offence. There are 'senior' members here (and the implication to new people is that that title infers experience and knowledge) who have barely managed a few days AF, and I just think that the truly committed 'olbies' with serious time under their belts are more likely to greet us, the newcomers with kindness but FIRMNESS.
From past debacles I know that 'stop-starting' drinking is much much harder than total abstinence cos the reintroduction of alcohol every few days or weeks into the body restarts those major beginning cravings each time (did for me anyway).
I hope I haven't offended anyone because I don't doubt for one second that most people here only mean well - but sometimes 'tough love' can be appropriate.
Molly

[JackieClaire]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Molly,
Funnily enough I was reading some old threads the other day and the members were a lot 'tougher' then.
I used to have a couple of days without alcohol then feel so much better and think (wrongly) that one or two drinks wouldn't do any harm. Which soon became one or two bottles. I nearly stop started myself into the grave. Who the hell was I kidding?
Today I won't try,hope,might not buy, etc etc not to drink. Today I will not drink.

I also thought like you Molly, that a senior member was someone who had masses of AF time under their belt. It took me ages to work out that it just meant they'd made a 1000 posts.

Thanks LVT25 for bringing this back.

[LVT25]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

It does seem true there was more tough love when I first started here. And lots of great advise. As I looked back it was interesting to me the different "stages" of recovery.
I loved Thankful's thoughts about INVESTING time in ourselves and our sobriety so we can heal. Physically and emotionally. Good stuff!

[momof3]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Wow, This thread is a blast from the past. I wonder where some of these folks are now and how they are doing.

LVT25... you have been of great help to me as well...

[KateH1]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Wow! This thread is a really huge reason that I was able to fight through to sobriety! Yes, Mollyka you are so right, we didn't sugar coat things!! BELIEVE was on a while ago and said it best, "We truly sincerely, cared enough to be straight up and tell the truth". To me....that IS encouragement. Statistics show that most alcoholics will not make it to any long term sobriety, it is very serious and complicated and we have to be completely comitted and honest with ourselves to get and stay sober.

I loved this thread and these people.....I do keep in touch with Livingfee....she is doing very well, inspite of a critical illness with her mom last year. Believe is also doing great! Occasionally Meditation Mama visits and she is still fighting for her sobriety. I have not heard from Wonderworld and Thankful......but I am willing to bet that they are both doing great too! Of course, we all know that Momof3 is doing great!

I do miss this thread and all the people that contributed to it. I miss the ability to post frank and honest posts that truly inspire and help. (well...sometimes I still do!!) But I always have compassion and caring in my heart for all that struggle!!

XX KateH1

[mollyka]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

KateH1 Hi,
From my day 1, I was conscious,(and nervous I'll admit!) of your wonderful honesty and straightness - no bullshit, I think that's important - thanks
Molly

[Doggygirl]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

There are several folks who were part of this thread who were instrumental in helping me get sober. Kate, thanks for the update about the ones you have heard from. I've been wondering about Wonderworld and Meditation Mama. I still miss Satori too. Anyone heard from him?

Powder puffing it didn't get me sober. Toughness did. And I am grateful for every single person who called me on my own BS and set me straight. For me, drinking is the easy way out that has difficult consequences. Staying sober was by far the more difficult choice early on, but the ONLY way to get the negative consequences to stop.

DG

[Guest]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

I've just read the last few posts and when I've more time will read the rest of the thread. I already know from myself as well as folk I've met in detox/rehab/AA, that stop start is no good. It's kidding yourself and actually very bad for your health - emotional as well as physical. I kept thinking I could have a drink just for being 'good' and eventually my life was all over the place continuously. Yes that 1 drink or drunk does set the cravings off and I've even seen the science of that explained.

In AA I saw members doing service who were on and off all the time. I thought you couldn't do any service until you were long-term sober. A lot just accepted these people and just like here they got the 'senior' label. Well whenever I was drinking or knew I wasn't going to stop I also kept away from AA meetings as well as I'm afraid here. That was because I knew I wasn't ready. I did know however that both would be here should I ever need them and lo and behold I did come back.

The real reason I looked into this thread was because I'm rapidly heading towards 30 days, and thinking perhaps there will be something here for the next part of my journey.

[Doggygirl]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Ukblonde;841466 wrote: In AA I saw members doing service who were on and off all the time. I thought you couldn't do any service until you were long-term sober. A lot just accepted these people and just like here they got the 'senior' label. Well whenever I was drinking or knew I wasn't going to stop I also kept away from AA meetings as well as I'm afraid here. That was because I knew I wasn't ready. I did know however that both would be here should I ever need them and lo and behold I did come back.
I believe this would be somewhat of a group conscience thing. That said, at the place I attend meetings there is service work that is considered appropriate for all levels. From Day 1 to infinity people pour coffee for each other in meetings, help clean up the place, give rides to those without driving priviledges, etc. Where I have seen sobriety requirements for service are things like chairing meetings (our group requires 6 months of sobriety), volunteering on the local AA "hot line" (2 years of sobriety and completion of the steps). Some speaker meetings have minimum sobriety requirements for anyone who they schedule as a speaker. It seems to vary by group and by type of service. EVERYONE is encouraged to do service work, and there is definitely something appropriate for everyone.



The real reason I looked into this thread was because I'm rapidly heading towards 30 days, and thinking perhaps there will be something here for the next part of my journey.

There are no minimum expectations and all who are serious about sobriety are encouraged to post in the Daily AF threads. You WILL find a number of regular posters to that thread who have quite a bit of sober time (well, for this site anyway...it's not like AA where there are lots of people with many many years of sobriety....). I think you would enjoy the regular group of posters. You (and all other interested people!) can find the Daily AF threads in the Monthly Abstinence section of the forum.

DG

[KateH1]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

For those that are new to reading this thread.....I would like to take the opportunity to let everyone know the background and how this thread began. At this time there was a thread, much like most other "newbie threads"...amongst the posters was a small group who were past 30 days and more into 60 and 90 days AF. We had a Sunday chat to discuss, what we felt we needed and wanted from each others and all others who had already made a serious comittment as well as progress in their sobriety. We did not want to "offend" those with just a few days of sobriety, not those who were still drinking or stopping and starting. But, at the same time, we wanted a place where we could speak frankly about our experiences at learning to live sober. The outcome of the 31 Days and beyond, was just that, it was an opportunity for anyone that had 31 days or more, to participate in frank discussions and to be able to share and learn from each other. It worked for many here!! The fact is that sobriety is a journey that never ends.....but, it does change, morph and progress. We do change as we work on our lives and our thought process as we gain more time AF. Though I no longer have to fight for sobriety every minute of every day, I do know, that I must stay aware and comitted or I could falter and god forbid, I could fall back into those old, dark ways. Reading and chatting with others who are doing the same work, truly keeps me strong! Thank you All!

I do participate in the daily, monthly and weekly AF threads, not daily any more, I pop in and out. And I think these threads are great and all who are serious about living AF should think about going there and posting. It is encouraging to mix with others who are really working at living AF.

xx Kate

[Nemed]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Hi everyone.
A good friend in MWO indirectly directed me here. I have been sober since January 7th (last drink 9.15pm but who's counting??!!) and have been hanging out in the newbies nest. I have to admit I havent strayed too far from there so didnt know about this thread. It sounds like a place I need now. I have got to a point, I need to be able to ask long termers questions about how to live sober, now that trying to stop drinking is just not an issue anymore.
So I might just hang around for a bit if that is OK. I have always tended to stay where I feel comfortable but maybe it is time to step out of my comfort zone (in more ways than one).
Take care.
Nemed