Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

[KateH1]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Hey Gang, I love, love, love the idea of talking and sharing about sober living!! Today I heard Dr. Oz, speak a bit about addictions, he said that we choose addictions to releave the "discomfort and anxieties" of daily living. But, that anxiety and discomfort are part of living. It made me think that for most of us, for far too long, we have adopted an entire catagory for such feelings and labeled them, negative....uncomfortable, yes, annoying at times, even troubling, but are they truly negative? Or are they, as Dr. Oz says, just another part of life?

I think that Dr. Oz is right! What do you think? What do you do now, without alcohol, to relieve these uncomfortable times?

XXXX Kate

[bootcampbarbie]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

yes indeedy deed. sober living here we come.. i can't speak to the psychology of it katey kate. having had the system wiring redone and no desire at all it isn't there for me anymore. so it isn't psychological it was a system failure. lol i can see tho with patterns in life that there are many ways to set up strategies "i call em survival" mechanisms and so yes, i can see how for lack of a better thing. yes "survival strategies" you can put the device there.. chocolate, al, food, drugs, things you do, gossip, drama, spending, sex, obsessive thinking. i mean really you name it. the cycle is the cycle. where does one use things to keep the cycle going.

[KateH1]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

What I really love about being sober, is learning to live in the moment. I am not in "survival mode", boy, when I was still drinkining, I was in "survival mode" all the time. Funny, I never realized it during that time! I was just "getting through the day until I could drink"! That, is not living! I remember thinking about getting anti-anxiety meds during the first 60 or so days. (no judgement here at all on meds), but then I would think to myself.........am I just looking for another artificial way to cope?????? I did a lot of reading on anxiety and decided to learn to work with it and through it.....wow! It is amazing, when I don't spend so much energy, resisting uncomfortable thoughts and feeling, they pass so much more quickly!! I am really learning to channel my energies in healthy ways. It really is a choice!Today, I am channeling my energies into work....very busy day......VP is here, meetings all day......but, I am looking forward to all of it!
Have a Great Day All!
XXX Kate

[wonderworld]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Nice !!! Breaths of fresh air this morning. TOTALLY agree. Was thinkng about anxiety yesterday, what a trap it is. And I so agree that addictions are about 'controling' or 'stuffing' uncomfortable thoughts and feelings. And the more they are treated as a "threat" to be neutralized at all cost, the more overwhelming and powerful they become. YUK!!! Truly a catch-22. And the more you drink (even if it's a relatively modest amount every day), the less capable your brain and everything else is of grasping what's happening to you really, and getting a grip.

And on the other side, the more you face the difficulties, without anesthesia, the better you get at it -as you said Kate. I'm seeing this left and right!!! Confidence and self-esteem increase daily, you get more and more capable, you see your real strengths and wisdom effectively engaged in your life. And then - what? More choices!!! More fun!! More creativity!! More Love!!! More prosperity!! More success !!! Yay!!! Simpler. Purposeful. Balanced. For some reason, "this" sobriety feels very diffrerent from 'sobrieties' in the past. My age has alot to do with it I think. I'm not messing around. Time for EVERYTHING to blossom. No time to lose!!!!

In fact, here's one for you AL: :finger: you stupid freak

Love to all :h - have a great day!!!

WW xox

[bootcampbarbie]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

ah such a good discussion. well, as i ponder deep within i see there is the way of life. and as early on dealing with life one sets up what "survival strategies" to cope with what is coming at us. so, in my stupor of alcohol i was deep in survival 101.... it was in the trenches. but i can see for myself personally, which is why i'm headed back to do some deeper work at rhonda's but i do deep work all the time. lmao. it's probably another survival strategy "transformation". but i can see there are cores and cores of it. so co dependency for one. putting myself somewhere at the bottom of the list in any slight way.. is so deeply engrained that well i started right out with it. so, tis a coping mechanism (survival) and then it is natural really for hte body to reach for something to make it stop. lol so it once reached for al. but i see it reach for chocolate, cigs, spending, obsessing about thoughts, and i have to be constantly vigilant, or it reaches for pleasing others or being known or something. it is just constantly reaching.. and that is the pull to reach out. so for me it is the reframe to reach with in. so transformational work is most likely another survival mechanism or even it is my ticket to calling these buggers out and conquering. but at least in that world i find myself asking good questions and taking actions. even cutting out things or relationships that don't serve me..
i love the finger girlie funny.
happy bday katey kate. so proud of you.

[wonderworld]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Oh yeah Boots. Love that view. And I hear you LOUD AND CLEAR !!!!!!

And I just got a lovely pm from someone on day 1 who said please could we get our new thread started already. So here we go!!!!

Love to all :h

WW xox

and I also wanted to say to Thankful - I LOVED reading the thread you started about tough love. It was SO interesting. I (of course!) wanted to add my thoughts, but I read the whole thing last night and it was after you had 'closed' the thread and I wanted to respect that. That first post took alot of courage and I thought you handled the feedback so beautifully. It was a great service to this board and a great healthy 'airing' of different points of view. Nice!!! You're so awesome :l

[livingfree]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Ahhhhh - Hello my lovelies!!

I dropped in to check on you all and what a great discussion going on! This is why I have to drop in to this amazing thread ... you are my soul friends (like sole mates but better :H)
Wow wow wow - great thoughts by all. Bootsie it is awesome that we all have graduated from survival 101!! I also think it's interesting how each of us "put ourselves" on the bottom of the list in who to take care of first. I am still working on that - but start feeling guilty when I don't "jump" to help someone.

WW & Kate - wow you are both "growing up" and maturing into these amazing new people. I can just "read it" in your thoughts!! And Thankful - I read through your tough love thread! I would have posted a "wow" to you - but it was closed ... so I will say to you ... Wow. You are also maturing into this amazing, strong, grounded, deep person!!!

I am on here less - but I think of you all often - and this is where my heart of being a non drinker remains ... with you all!

I love each one of you ........

nite all, as I close my journal and turn off the light on another sober day!! :h
Liv

[wonderworld]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Awwww....... how great to see Liv!!! Love seeing you always :l.

Okay - I 'started' the new thread. Let me know if the opening post sounds right - happy to make changes/additions.

Nighty night all sweeties-

ww xox

[livingfree]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

WW the new thread is perfect!! It is just going to draw in those who really need a home base from day one. I think the boards have gotten so "big" and this will help get past some of the newness for those looking for solid ground to stand. I'll be stopping in there for a check! You are really a "giver" - I love ya
Liv

Thankful - So good to chat once again ---opps my tornado warning just went off - I better go see whats up - man the weather is WEIRD.

Later
Liv

[BELIEVE]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Hello and an observation

Hi everyone.

Just checking in to say hi. Still AF of course, which brings me to my observation. May have been brought up b4 but it seems like people who choose to live AF are a minority. I never really noticed that before. Also, no matter how much or often I would drink, no one ever gave me a hard time about it, I could tell people I been drinking all day and they wouldn't bat an eye. Now the longer I'm AF, the more shit I catch from people, its weird. Most of it isn't malicious or anything, just folks acting like I'm crazy when I tell them I really like not drinking. Of course there were some freindships (I'm too tired to thik of a better term) that were based pretty much just on drinking together. Those "frendships" have evaporated. I'm sure its nothing my fellow AF'rs here aren't seeing for themselves...theres just soemthing about the whole thing that dosen't quite seem right. Still though like I said I wouldn't be noticing it if not for being AF for however long its been, so thats cool.

Anyway hope alls well with everyone. Sorry I can't go back and catch up completley on whats been posted since I was last on.....my rediculously short attention span just isn't up to such a Hurculean task lol

[meditation mama]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Well, look at you all!! What a fantastic week of posts. WOW, so insightful and powerful. I truly was overwhelmed when I was reading over the past week. :bow

Sorry for my AWOL... I haven't been feeling well AT ALL!! Whaaaaaaaaa! Not to worry, I have surgery scheduled for the 9th and will be ship-shape after that.

Work has been CRAZY! On top of the new puppy, and not feeling well, the spa has been nuts! We usually slow down for the month of April, but that didn't happen - which is good! But, I have been wiped out.

I don't have time to post to everyone individually right now, but it is so wonderful to see how well you are all doing. You are always in my heart - you have a very big space there.

Well, I am going to take a cruise around the board and see what the MYO world has beenup to.. OH, WONDER - LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the new thread! I will definately jump in there!

Namaste,

MM

[KateH1]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Well look who's home!!! Hey, Believe and MM!! Good to have you both in the house!

I hope you had a good nights sleep and are well rested for your day off, Believe. This thing about young guys and their drinking buddies is something that I have not had to deal with. Good for you staying strong! You will find your niche, you are such a remarkable person!

MM, I left you a note on your other thread..........so good to have you here...

I have had a busy week, my VP was in town, meetings, meetings, meetings.......but it was all good! I am opening 2 spas at the end of this month, in the middle I have to go to MN and Omaha. So this is a really busy month! As I write this, my granddaughters are on a plane on their way home from Holland. They have been gone for nearly 3 weeks! I miss them so much! I am hoping to have them for a sleep over tomorrow night!

Well......Happy Friday, All...........WW.......the new thread is fabulous!! You are truly a Wonder!

XXX Kate

[bootcampbarbie]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

checking in you all. love the new thread honey. haven't posted really yet. will this week. i'm headed into a few weeks of alot of consulting. then preparing for my big week yipppe of presentation time. so working on my powerpoint. do you know i've never done a powerpoint before. wow, i was a virgin until today. hahahaahaha. but farmers market today and i have veges to wash. and i worked out and that made me extremely tired. ah to rebuilding my strength. but i did 15 minutes on tread/climber. so proud of me. but then had to nap for 3 hours. hahahaahhaah fuck it. i was happy to do weights and get on that fucking thing. and i'm going to do it again 3 times. blood tests come back monday. and i went to ron teagarden the big time herbalist here and i got a great blood herb thing. so i'm going downstairs and cooking up tibetan red rice and making raw veges and taking those herbs... yeah to restoring my blood count ... i'm determined. i'm going to up my level of being my own dr.... and i bought there green food too. so i started that today. and i think i'll do it twice a day. and i bought his chinese longevity tea which also is good for weight loss. i don't really need that though but it is way good for nutrients. so i drink it all day. yummmy...
so here's to chinese herbalists. whoop whoop. and here's to bootsies recovery. whoop whoop. and oh boy i have a big star studded and vicki secret model event come saturday so i had better be ready and in shape for it. god that just made me tired. did go a dinner and arnold was there. he is such a nice governor. i like him. and it is such a strange place i live in as there are always all these folks from t.v. everywhere and i'm always trying to guess as i watch t.v. rarely. so at farmers market without their make up. i was like oh i've seen him. hummm who was that.. hahahaaha such a fun game for me. but oh the food i got. okay now i have to go. the veges are calling me. work and food a great sunday combo.
kate so happy for your spa work. so so so so happy. liv so good to hear from you. thank ful i loved your thread. MM good to hear you. so sorry you aren't feeling well. i do feel you though. and ww. as always the girlies are in the house. believe...... adore you as always.

[livingfree]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Hi family!

Just spent a lot of time posting on the "new thread" and LOST it before I could post - UGG
So now I'm out of time and need to get on with the day.

But just wanted to say how fun it is to see the group popping in and out as time permits - thats HEALTH in action!! We all have a desire to say linked - stay healthy and yet not lose the home base!! Good stuff!

I just wanted to update quick - I am now the proud owner of a motorcycle license!!!!:woot:
What a journey of emotions!! I :Hed ... I :upset:ed ... I often said WTF?? But I did it!! I know this sounds silly to most - but I am a PRISS - a scardie CAT - a whaaaa whaaa I don't want to be cold and dirty sort of gal --- so this was my "breaking all boundary?s goal !! At the end of the training I passed the written test (100%) and passed the driving test with a "just passing" score :H ~ I actually think the trainer felt kind of bad and gave me a couple of points so I wouldn't fail!! OH WELL - I passed!!!!!!!!!

This was my new life test for myself. Doing something that I never even DREAMED of doing. I really didn't even like cycles all that much in my "old" life!! This is the new me!!!

Gotta run - love you all - I will try to repost down on the other thread later. I am bummed - had a good thought going -- oh well.
Liv

[livingfree]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Oh - one last thing before I move on with my Monday ....

I wanted to post the song that I quoted from as my "signature" - but don't know if that's illegal or even how to paste it for that matter. So I decided to paste the lyrics for you to read and share why I have used this signature from day one.

January 1st (my first day AF) I rented the movie ONCE - because there was nothing else on the shelves on New Years Day. The family had all packed up and left from the holiday gatherings - hubbie went to bed early - bored by the movie - and I watched the movie alone and journaled during the show (it was good - but hard to pay attention because of the Irish accents). I liked the music so decided to watch the "special features". They went through the recording of each song - and the rest is history.

Something in me moved to the point of no return when I watched the making of this song "Falling Slowly". After watching the features (mid night by now) I ordered the CD from i tunes and couldn't stop listening to this song. My first couple of weeks AF - it became me theme so to speak. When ever I needed an emotional release, motivation, or a private cry - I played this song. I played it in my car, while I worked out, while I got through the craving hours.

Funny I haven't listened to it for weeks now - until this morning. I just wanted to post the words and hope you can log on to i tunes and "listen in". I will feel like you are meeting me face to face to really "listen" to this song. It has become who I am. I love you all so much and treasure each of you are a piece of my journey to become who I am becoming. I feel like I am truly livingfree. My precious niece's name is "Liv" (Alivia). Now when someone speaks her name - I have to catch myself not to reply!!!! :H You are all a piece of me ........ Living Free

Here are the lyrics:
Glen Hansard - Falling Slowly Lyrics

I don't know you
But I want
All the more for that
Words fall through me
And always fool me
And I can't react
And games that never amount
To more than they're meant devastating
Will play themselves out

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You've made it now

Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I'm painted black
You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You've made it now

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You've made it now
Falling slowly sing your melody
I'll sing along