Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

[livingfree]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

WIP - very insightful. Because of your past runs with Sobriety and then returning to drinking - I am really learning a lot from you. I don't want to repeat this "time" I've done so am feeling everyday I am so new to this even though it's been 8 months. My guard is up more than ever. Your comments about our attitude is so RIGHT ON!

MO3 - I agree whole heartedly about the Spiritual aspect. Landmark is not a spiritual program ... is about having an extraordinary life every single day. It gives you immediate, significant, and unexpected positive shifts in your life. I would say it impacted me with a dramatic mind shift in how I think. (thoughts, moods, etc.)

With that said - the Spiritual aspect of this Journey has been my foundation. I know that God placed in my life all of these tools (MWO, Landmark, books, etc) and He is the driving power behind me. I was a "spiritual" person before I quit drinking, but as this transformation has happened in my life - I know it's source. It's power and it's love. It is found in Jesus Christ. He doesn't promise us an easy walk through this life, but He does promise us the power to endure. For me it is this power and strength that I can do all things.

Brit - Hang in here. The road is paved ahead for you and the days will improve. I do believe that it takes an entire suitcase of tools to travel this road! I was so cranky for a few months this past winter - I hate to even think back on it!! UGGG. But I can tell you that I DON'T feel that way anymore. Sleeping well ... moods stable. I really do think the supplements in End your addiction now helped me over that 4-5 month hump. They address depression, addiction, pain, etc. Hang tight!

Gotta go to work! I'll check in later!

[livingfree]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

WW we cross posted! wow - great post

[wonderworld]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

and here's more from the article....... I had never heard of it ......

.......................

Moderation Management, also called MM, says it essentially offers a supportive atmosphere and a nine-step program that include drinking guidelines and limits and free literature.

One of the first steps in the program is abstinence from alcohol for 30 days, then moderate drinking and attending the supportive meetings.

............

weird! here's a link to the whole article ........

Alcohol-abstinence critic accused of DUI in fatal I-90 crash


ww xox

[A Work in Progress]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

WW, yes, I think that woman became really active in AA after that (?). Jeffrey Schaler writes a lot about this in his book Addiction Is a Choice. His book is interesting, makes some good points, but is (I think) rather an extreme version of the position that addiction is NOT a "disease," and that even people with very severe alcohol abuse can learn to engage in moderate drinking, and often do so, on their own. He got into arguments with Kishline and her husband because they said that Moderation Management (MM) was ONLY appropriate for "problem drinkers" and not for "alcoholics," whereas Schaler does not believe that there is any validity to the concept of a "disease" or "disorder" called "alcoholism."

wip

[momof3]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

WIP--Wow, you really hit it dead on in terms of what I am experiencing. I think the first 2 - 3 months I was floating on the pink cloud but have not made any other changes in my life. Hence, I am in a rut and I am yearning for something more in my life. I have also been focused on what I'm missing alot more lately rather than what I have gained. I am grateful to you for helping me to realize this.

Liv--I love the analogy of having a suitcase full of tools. It isn't just one thing is it?

WW--I remember this (or a similar) article in the news. I am familiar with her book and even attempted her moderation program (failed of course). A very devastating thing to happen and a wake up calll to all of us.

I appreciate all of the book suggestions...I am going on Amazon now to order. And, thank you for all of your wisdom...it's really what this site is all about.

:thanks:

[A Work in Progress]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

brittzak;402306 wrote: I do not want to be the bitter ol' dry drunk.

Me, too! Once I heard a homily in which the priest said: "If your religion doesn't give you joy, then find a different religion!" I was a bit startled at the time... I certainly wasn't finding any joy in my religion, or in anything else, back then. But I am coming around to the conviction that we have to engage in some mental and spiritual work in order to see the joy that is, at least sometimes, all around us. So I would paraphrase Father X: "If your sobriety doesn't give you joy... then, remember to work on looking for it, and recognizing it when it is right in front of you!" Very challenging, for me (I have a long history of depressed mood, off and on), but really crucial.

wip

[brittzak]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

I have a history of depression as well. I actually went to the doctor for it and the meds I was put on actually made me feel worse instead of better. Plus, he wanted to put me on Xanax, which in my opinion was a pill form of alcohol. When taking them, I felt drunk. They are very addictive so I stopped them. Lord knows I didn't need another issue to have to embrace. So, instead of taking the meds I started the supps again full force. I can tell a big difference. There are definately stages of recovery. RJ sent me a book a good bit back. It is very inspirational. What I have been doing when I am down, is to read a couple of pages. I have red on here that many are meditating. I have tried to several times and just can't seem to wrap myself around it. Anyone have suggestions? I find it difficult to sit still and quiet.

[A Work in Progress]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Brittzak, I teach meditation. I have started a couple of threads on here, will try to find them and bump them up. And/or you can look at this meditation-related site of mine: KC MINDFULNESS

"Sitting still" is a problem for everyone who begins to practice meditation. It is like any other kind of exercise: something that we work on, and gradually it gets better.

wip

[brittzak]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Thank-you WIP...

[LVT25]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

I come to you all with my tail between my legs. You can go ahead and say "I told you so" if you like. My sil and bil were here again Thursday night with some other friends. I was stressed and tense and I knew I would be no fun at all unless I drank. Which really wasn't a big deal, because I seem to think that moderation will be my lifestyle. However, after 1 beer watching them all enjoying their ciggies so much, I had to have one. Then after a couple more beers I had another one. Am I going to have to lock myself in the closet until I can muster up enough willpower to be around these people?? Yesterday, of course I had 0 energy, ate crap all day, and felt bad about myself. Most times I don't even think about drinking or smoking, but when I'm around certain people--look out!
There may be plans to go to their house in the near future (10 hours away) and a trip to Deadwood SD, which would be a huge smoking trigger for me. Is it unfair for me to tell everyone that I have had to become a recluse until I learn I simply don't smoke anymore?
You have no idea how much I didn't want to post about this. I also think everyone is different and have different reasons for not drinking. With football season coming up-it's fun to have a few beers with friends during the game. But is it worth it??? That is the question for me.
I had to be honest here, because you all mean so much to me. :h

[brittzak]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

LVT25, I think we can all relate to this. All of us.....you have pinpointed your triggers, so until you can manage them, I would suggest avoiding those situations for awhile. This battle is hard enough without adding to your fight. You will learn over time how to say no. I think for me obsessing over the fact that I can not drink makes this harder. I have to realize I just do not drink anymore...bottom line. Constantly thinking about the fact I can not drink makes it worse....try focusing that energy else where in a more positive route.

[A Work in Progress]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

LVT25;402390 wrote: Am I going to have to lock myself in the closet until I can muster up enough willpower to be around these people?? ... Is it unfair for me to tell everyone that I have had to become a recluse until I learn I simply don't smoke anymore? You have no idea how much I didn't want to post about this... With football season coming up-it's fun to have a few beers with friends during the game. But is it worth it??? That is the question for me.

I'm so sorry you are feeling such pain and so much conflict around all this. You are finding yourself wondering, "is it worth it?" and "what does it take?" and of course you know that only you can answer those questions... Sometimes I guess it just does NOT seem "worth it," and sometimes it seems as if it asks way too much of us. I think we can anticipate that ALL of us who commit to a life that is AF will encounter just exactly those thoughts/feelings.

When I find myself going there, I hope I can consistently shift my thoughts back to why it was that I EVER thought it was "worth it." And also, to what I do get out of it, and hope to get out of it throughout my life.

Have you ever enjoyed being around these folks, and/or watching football, without smoking and drinking? What was that like? How did you do it?

wip

[Determinator]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Luvs, meditation is a fantastic exercise and I think (as I'm sure AWIP would agree) that it's something desparately missing in our high paced western lifestyle.

also Luvs you may want to get some bloodwork done by someone that can really understand hormone levels etc. you may just have something out of whack that your regular MD has glossed over or never even thought about. I have friends whos lives have turned around dramatically after such discoveries....food for thought anyway.

I'm curious about the Tao of sobriety...must look that up. I'm a little concerned about the "addiction is a choice' book as my sneaky brain may use it as a rationale to begin al consumption.

Momof3, this seems like a phase and it should pass. you are under a lot of stress now so meditation, diet, exercise and sleep should all be very important to you at this tough time. and hang in there!

[Determinator]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

LVT, maybe the local triangle club (where they often hold AA meetings) has the sports playing? just a thought....

[momof3]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Thanks Det, I feel better just from posting and receiving all of the supportive posts I have received.