I went out for lunch today with my husband and kids. Lovely roast dinner and a few glasses of coke. It was easy to NOT drink today. I have made this life-saving commitment and so thats it....no worries..
BUT... We saw a few of the people who i was with in the pub on my fateful night. They were friendly and laughing about my drunken behaviour. They told me that i was acting like i had been 'let out' for the night......hugging everyone....asking for cocaine.....and later saying how i was going to kill myself. I am horrified as you can imagine. This only re-enforces my want to knock Alcohol on the head. I suppose there is one blessing...i did not upset anyone or hurt anyone, or kill anyone!!! Only nearly... myself.
I know that today is a new day and i must put this behind me....but what else did i say? Or do?? Its so awful thinking about this...i am so humiliated..
My husband is back at work tomorrow..I'm on my own with the children and i just feel scared. For some reason i am doubting my abilities with my kids. I was fine before this incident the other night. Also, the consultant at the hospital said they would have to let my health Visitor know what happened. Maybe if i have any problems coping they will take my kids away! I will never drink anymore,,,so they can't do that can they?
Sorry....i'm just concerned.
Love, Bella xxx
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