STILL HANGIN IN THERE

[SK8RGRL]

Hi everyone. Just an update from me to say that I am doing ok and haven't given in yet (40 days today) It has not been easy, every day has been a struggle consumed with this obsession. The tabs the doctor gave me help me through my worst moments but my time on them is limited. I went back to see him and told him how I was feeling, told him everything..that I didn't want to be here anymore, that every day is a struggle. And how I don't feel euphoric like I expected to feel because I am waiting to fail/slip any day. He was great, has persuaded me to take an anti depressant/mood stabiliser (I am having the most horrendous panic attacks) but he said he must wean me off the sedatives. I am coping tho...just. Went to my AA meeting today (the one I feel most comfy at) and everyone is rooting for me so I feel I have to keep at it. I did expect to feel/look better by now but I guess I have been "poisoning" my self for a very long time and so it's going to take that bit longer to see the benefits. I found some AA literature the other day that I was given at my first AA meeting, it was to wish me luck on my "journey". I never went back. That was in 2004. I tried AA another time (about 2 years later) never went back again. But this time I obviously felt more "ready". My point is, I have been trying to heal for the past 3 years + , so I know it takes time, but I also know now that it can happen..when you are ready, and when that little seed has taken root you know it's time. I know I am rambling but it's how it's been for me. OK, yes.. I am having a good day and I feel strong for the first time in those 40 days. Tomorrow I may not be so strong and I may cave. But at least I know that I have those sober days behind me now which I never thought I could achieve.

[Seashell]

STILL HANGIN IN THERE

Great to hear from you sk8girl never knew you could do it. Keep it up. Hate you cause I am jealous love you cause you are my rock.

love
seashell

[Accountable for Me]

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Way to go!!! 40 days is so awesome!!!

[Seashell]

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sk8grl

hee hee me again that was meant to say always knew you could do it, was going to put never doulted you ended up with a bit of both doh blonde all be it bottle now)!!and 2 wines strike again xx

[SK8RGRL]

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I knew what you meant Seashell. I have many a blonde moment.

[Seashell]

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going into the chat room for fun and to stop me drinking too much join me?

[keeta]

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SK8R,
awesome job on 40 days.

:woot:
What a wonderful accomplishment!

much love and hugs,
Kee

[bald headed old guy]

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SK8R, 40 days! :goodjob: Hope to be there soon myself! Stay Strong!
BHOG

[Thankful]

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Great job! Amazing feeling, isn't it?

Keep the course! Stay strong!

Love, Me
:l

[Mags]

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SK8RGRL

40 days is fantastic. Congratulations. You are just doing everything so right - working with your doctor, finding the right meds, working with AA, having that determination. You are amazing. You'll feel better soon. Maybe it's time to start enjoying your success more and not waiting so much for the next failure. You are awesome.

[tea]

STILL HANGIN IN THERE

Well done Sk8girl, what an inspiration.

Lx

[Reenie]

STILL HANGIN IN THERE

SK8RGRL: You are VERY strong! I'm so happy to hear you have made it to the 40 day milestone! I understand it has been a struggle, yet your are sticking to AF and are fighting through it! Your determination is quite obvious... You have even checked back with your doctor and have opened up to him/her as to how you are feeling. That is so great. Please continue to post and let us know how you are doing. With your determination and positive outlook, you will feel better in no time. -Reenie