Damn...I am just retarded

[Suzanna]

Damn...I am just retarded

I am like you, Lucy, still plugging along, wondering when the AHA moment will arrive. BUT!! In the meantime I have had alot of AF days, and before like 3 months ago, I could not remember the last AF night. So there is progress, and like the others have said, especially Starlite, she said it will one day just "click" and we will be off and running... look at my start date, it is close to yours. It has taken me quite awhile, and I have alot of slips, but I keep on coming on here, and getting educated, and soaking up the support.

:h Suz

[poohbear]

Damn...I am just retarded

I dont really have anything else to add that everyone hasnt already said except to tell you that you are so totally not alone. Also if you're retarded that I must be too

[poohbear]

Damn...I am just retarded

I dont really have anything else to add that everyone hasnt already said except to tell you that you are so totally not alone. Also if you're retarded that I must be too

I am still waiting for that day when its going to click for me and I firmly believe that it's going to happen because as long as you have some kind of faith that this thing will be beat SOME day - well then that means you haven't given up and its oh so very important to not give up. Also like others have said, go to the doctor you might be actually surprised at what comes out of it

good luck to you

Pbear

[july232007]

Damn...I am just retarded

Beth and Pooh,

Do have a plan and know you can change. But also too don't refer to yourself as retarded. I know you probably only meant it as a loose term but it is an actual problem: mental retardation. Fortunately almost no mentally challenged people have the problem with alcohol that many of us have. But I think it is important that we understand that as it is used here it is offensive.

July

[Leebo]

Damn...I am just retarded

Don't ever consider yourself a failure.. failure does not exist.. we all have our own way of doing things and God knows we did not become addicted overnight and we sure as hell can't beat it overnight and with a twitch of our nose - if it were that easy, we would not be here. We each move forward in our own way, in our own time - but the important thing is - no matter how many times we may go backward, or how far we may fall, we MUST go forward again. Not going forward is not an option - if going to the dr. is your step forward, take it.. if not drinking tomorrow is your step forward, take it.

Until that magical AHA moment that we are all praying for when somehow this actually gets easier, we just have to keep working it - you or I or anyone else on this site is not a failure. We are all successes.

Take care.

Leebo

[greeneyes]

Damn...I am just retarded

Well.... I have a degree in special education. (really) And let's see.... what can I say to you? I hate lables. I believe in happy thoughts. Also self fufulling prophecy. So speak highly of yourself to yourself and others. Your body, on a cellular level, will believe it whether you do or not and you will come to be true. I think that's how it works. I am a smart strong inteligent woman and I will overcome my obstacles. Make it your mantra. Because you are and you can. And I know you know this is true becuse I read your posts. Mail me that 5 cents please, Lucy.:H

[Leebo]

Damn...I am just retarded

You are absolutely correct.. affirmations (positive or negative) work at the cellular level and that has been one of my goals - to be more positive. My current daily affirmation is:

"I am whole, perfect, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious, happy and prosperous. I am healthy and wise and open to an even greater good. I approve of myself."

I write it daily and try to repeat it to myself throughout the day.

Leebo

[greeneyes]

Damn...I am just retarded

I have a healthy pink liver.

[greeneyes]

Damn...I am just retarded

Leebo, that is a very good statement and the fact the you write it in addition to saying it makes it even more powerful. Good for you!

[MyHeartIsDrenchedInWine]

Damn...I am just retarded

Honey GO TO THE DOCTOR!!!!!

Let me tell you last night I drank two bottles of wine and woke up this morning feeling like a complete failure because of it. I HAD to go to the Dr's today because one half of my body went numb. It turns out my blood pressure was perfect and my heart was fine. He thinks I pinched a nerve! I will be going back next week for the full physical and then the blood work. If my liver levels are bad it is better to KNOW.....more incentive to quit or get on Topamax or whatever. The truth is always a good thing, I really feel strongly about that.

Hang in there girl!

[onthegrand]

Damn...I am just retarded

Lucy, you are absolutely not a failure! Everyday is a struggle and is extremely difficult. I understand about the whole blood pressure issue as I deal with it as well. Stay focused and take baby steps.... you can do it. I try to take each day at a time and celebrate each day's accomplishments. Yesterday I managed to drink only 2 beers!!! So I celebrated the fact that I had control over how much I chose to drink. Take baby steps which will turn into giant steps!!!

[greeneyes]

Damn...I am just retarded

MyHeartIsDrenchedInWine;271518 wrote: Honey GO TO THE DOCTOR!!!!!

Let me tell you last night I drank two bottles of wine and woke up this morning feeling like a complete failure because of it. I HAD to go to the Dr's today because one half of my body went numb. It turns out my blood pressure was perfect and my heart was fine. He thinks I pinched a nerve! I will be going back next week for the full physical and then the blood work. If my liver levels are bad it is better to KNOW.....more incentive to quit or get on Topamax or whatever. The truth is always a good thing, I really feel strongly about that.

Hang in there girl!

My heart. I'm not an MD, but if it was not a stroke, may I be so bold as to suggest a chiropractor? Guess how nerves get pinched. MDs and orthos can't fix that. Chiros can.

[Guest]

Damn...I am just retarded

I think every one of us have been there. You can do this. You can....keep trying, just don't give up.

[Niblet]

Damn...I am just retarded

Lucy, believe it or not you have just made the first big step to helping yourself... By posting here.... Keep on taking help and gaining strength, that is what we are there for... Take Care and post away !!!! Hugs, xxx

[Lucy Van Pelt]

Damn...I am just retarded

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

God, this place has the most wonderful people. I will not give up on this fight. I will not. I had a horrible dream last night about having my blood pressure taken, and the nurse turned white after seeing how high it was. ugh.

I have always been very healthy, and I have been very good about keeping up with monitering my health. I go to my gyno every year, and, because I am "high risk" for breast/ovarian cancer, had my overies removed and go religiously to a breast specialist, where blood work is always taken. I even put myself in a research project, in which I flew to Washinton, D.C. once a year and had many tests done for 4 years in a row. However, this last doctors visit, for just a regular check up, showed the high blood pressure, and it scared me. And I am scared to go back. I am afraid to face a doctor knowing (likely) it is my drinking that is causing this symptom. I swore to myself that I would take care of myself before going back i.e., quit drinking, smoking, take calcium, and get back to exercising. The doctor gave me chantix for smoking, and it worked...But after a month I stopped taking it, and went back to smoking (lightly). I have not gotten back to exercise, have not gone af, and the only thing I am doing right is the calcuim...that part is easy.

Well, after reading all your supportive posts, I am going to try again. I will call today and reschedule my appointment for a couple of weeks from now. I can't expect miracles, but I can try to do the best that I can, and hope the appointment will give me the motivation to have some success. Oh, and Happy Camper...I have missed you!!! So good to "hear your voice" so to speak!

I love you all. I WILL not give up. The alternative is too horrible.

With Love,

Beth

OH-to the person I offended by calling myself "retarded", I do apologize. I certainly meant no harm. Actually, my job is to evaluate children for learning disabilites, so I more than anyone do not take the term "retarded" lightly. I just felt really down on myself, and just...well, just stupid!! So again, I am sorry for using a term inappropriately.