my bottom, I need help

[poohbear]

tonight,

The night that my son took my vodka and hid it. I accused my husband but is was my 15 y/o son. He didnt want to see me drunk yet again. This is MY bottom. I am a terrible mother. How does a mom get to this point that their child takes the booze and hides it cause he doesnt want to see his mom yet again drunk???? No matter what - this IS my bottom. What a horrible mom I am. I had to go to him to give me back my booze, I told him to give it back to me cause i didn't want him to have it. I didnt want him to be tempted to drink it. He should NEVER have been put in this position. He gave it to my husband and I only got it back because I swore I would dump it out, and I did I dumped it down the sink, but only after I took one last drink. The last drink of my life so help me God. I feel like the most horrible, despicable person on the face of the earth,my family would at first mourn me however they would be eventually be happy and at peace that they would never have to worry that, when is the next time I will see my wife/mother drunk? I hate that I put my family through so much heartache and pain. I hate this so much more than I hate that I put myself through so much pain. I guess what I am saying is that the pain that I have put my family through is so much worse than the pain I could put myself through. I just wish they knew this. I so much want to be the perfect mother,the perfect wife. How do I get there? I am sooo freaking lost

[magic]

my bottom, I need help

Hi pooh,

Oh, it's so hard sweetie pie, I know. I doubt that if you were a bad mom your son would be hiding your vodka, he wouldn't care enough to do that.

My kids would hide my booze too and I'd have to beg them for it to keep the withdrawals at bay...that was a long time ago and they still love me and I them.

If this is your bottom then you've only got one way to go now and that's UP!

I don't know which is worse....your pain and sorrow or theirs. I do know that our pain is horrendous and none of us asked for this. Hearts and souls can be mended, pain diminished.

It takes time and a lot of hard work but you can do it!

Tomorrow is another glorious day. Try to get a good sleep.
In the morning start on a plan.

Keep posting pooh and keep talking to us.

We can't change our past but we can control what will happen tomorrow.

You are worthy of a good and sober life. You deserve all of it.

If you feel you are in crisis pooh, there is help here

https://www.mywayout.org/community/f7...wal-13412.html

or call your family doctor or Emergency Department. Tell someone.

I wish you strength and courage,

m. xx :l

[MyHeartIsDrenchedInWine]

my bottom, I need help

Oh Poohbear,

Big HUG's...I also have a 15 year old (My baby) and I know the feeling. Do whatever it takes, a Doctor, a shrink, AA......whatever. We're here for you. YOu are a GOOD Mom with an addiction problem, please take care of it as best you can.

Luvya poohbear,


Myyhart





PS I have 3 dogs...aren't they the best???

[Guest]

my bottom, I need help

Awww poohbear,
As the mum of a teenager, I really feel for you and can relate to you very much. First off, stop thinking of yourself as a despicable and bad mother..........you are no such thing........the fact that you`re here is testimony to the good mother you really are. None of us are bad mothers..........we are simply and sadly.........mothers who happen to be alcoholics.

It is dreadful to take stock of how our drinking is affecting our families, but that is the way forward for us. I think your son confiscating your vodka has shaken you to the core and allowed you to see just how much distress your drinking is causing him.

I can only tell you that there is no greater joy for me than having my teen tell me just how proud she is of me now that I no longer drink. Take it a day at a time and your boy will be proud of his mum too. :l

Starlight Impress x

[Maddie]

my bottom, I need help

Honey there is no such thing as a terrible mother, children before they come to this world pick the perfect mother for them the one person who will teach them what they need to know in this world to complete there journey and life path. Take my example..mother who was a drug addict and who during my early years i had lot's of your child's experiences, but no as an adult i value the good in what i learnt and can look back and see why we both went through what we did, a lot of good came out of it.. Just because you drink and have a life goal or purpose or work though doesn't make you bad? How can you be bad when your made of the same stuff as everyone else a soul on a journey learning from life experiences? We are all the same just some have different shit to deal with but none of it makes it bad... The best part of this is that you want change... the first step is desire and the rest is easy.... something that helped me, a book, a souls jouney, by Lee Carroll, it taught me not to be so hard on myself.... I too have a family, two kids, a mum who often does what you've just done and takes all the good away because of one bad point.. don't do it to yourself.... Thinking of you and take care... Maddie.

[greeneyes]

my bottom, I need help

Maddie;271595 wrote: Honey there is no such thing as a terrible mother, children before they come to this world pick the perfect mother for them the one person who will teach them what they need to know in this world to complete there journey and life path. Take my example..mother who was a drug addict and who during my early years i had lot's of your child's experiences, but no as an adult i value the good in what i learnt and can look back and see why we both went through what we did, a lot of good came out of it.. Just because you drink and have a life goal or purpose or work though doesn't make you bad? How can you be bad when your made of the same stuff as everyone else a soul on a journey learning from life experiences? We are all the same just some have different shit to deal with but none of it makes it bad... The best part of this is that you want change... the first step is desire and the rest is easy.... something that helped me, a book, a souls jouney, by Lee Carroll, it taught me not to be so hard on myself.... I too have a family, two kids, a mum who often does what you've just done and takes all the good away because of one bad point.. don't do it to yourself.... Thinking of you and take care... Maddie.

Maddie, that rings my bell. Sounds a bit like Collin Tipping and Radical Forgiveness.

Pooh. Be thankful for your son to do that. Got your attention. Pick yourself up and try again. Look at Leebo's mantra. Powerful.

[satori]

my bottom, I need help

Pooh

You are not bad
You are inherently absolutely perfect - just the way you are - you just have not realised it yet

We are all a blank slate - neither good, nor bad.

Some of us make the wrong choices along the way of what we write on the slate.

Just take the eraser, rub it out, and start to write a new story.

None of this stuff is cast in stone.



Love :h

satori

xxx

[Captnjack]

my bottom, I need help

Hi poo my mum to this very day is the most beautiful person in my life youre son in his own way is telling you that. Just remember all sons love there mums for ever no matter what they do. Its weird and you mums dont believe us but its true how can it not be? rest easy poo. you have done nothing wrong .

[gabby1go]

my bottom, I need help

Poohbear,

You don't sound like a horrible mother, you don't sound like a horrible person. You sound just like the rest of us. Struggling with something that controls us. I have asked myself why I can't love everything else in my life more than the bottle. AL doesn't work that way. Don't feel lost. Feel hope. It is out there somewhere. Gabby.

[Determinatrix]

my bottom, I need help

ok poohbear.
Time for a lifestyle change. Where do you do most of your drinking? Do you drink alone? Do you understand your triggers? Are you seeing a therapist? Do you have family and friends you can be honest with and ask for help?
Many stories show that parents who are alcohol dependents have children who are alcohol dependents. You have a chance to break this for your son. He is soon, if not alreaady, going to be experimenting with alcohol etal and may do so with the intent to understand what you find so great about it.
You can do this. We will help you.
Dx

[Thankful]

my bottom, I need help

PoohBear, I feel for you. I've witnessed for years the demise of the relationship between my niece and her mother. A few years back my niece tried to pour out her mother's booze and got a slap in the face for it. She no longer tries to tell her mom to stop drinking. She no longer tells her mom anything even when something good happens to her at school. She simply doesn't care anymore. They have a miserable relationship that would make you cry. The point of this is that your son STILL CARES. Don't get to the point where he no longer wants to pour out the booze. This relationship can be saved. YOU can be saved.

This is your bottom, but as someone has pointed out it only gets better from here. Get yourself a plan as to what you will do today to not drink.

Stay close to us. We are all here for you. Let us help.

Love, Me
:l

[happydog]

my bottom, I need help

Hi Poohbear
Got to admit...i'v had that done to me too, and also my girl has call me a alcohol.
your not alone. we are with you and will support you in everyway..
You are not a terrible mother..stay strong we can do this!

Take care
love
Teadrop.x

[Cinders]

my bottom, I need help

Poohbear,

I am not going to minimize what happened. Yes. It is a bottom. When your child hides your booze so you can't drink....

I haven't been there done that because when the kids were teenagers, I wasn't a heavy drinker. But...

I am now!!!

So. KNOW that you ARE a good person. AL has you in his/her grip. You are much more than AL. Get it???

I truly hope that last swig was your last drink. But, if it wasn't, keep working on it. The battle is worth it. You can and will overcome.

On top of that, you can show your son that this is a beatable, curable issue.

I am sorry you feel so badly but take that feeling and make it work for you.

However, also remember that you are not defined by this addiction. This addiction hurts you but does not in any way determine who and what you are. :l :l


Love,
Cindi

[bald headed old guy]

my bottom, I need help

Poohbear,
Your post made me hurt inside for you. Your son it telling you very strongly that he loves you...the real you, not the AL you. He wants his mom, and wants to help her. You are very lucky to have him.
You also have all of us. Your son does not understand, firsthand the way we do, how much you and AL have to break up. We do, we are here to help you. Someone else, I think it was DEX, suggested you might want to talk to professional, that can also be helpful.
Please stay strong. You have definetly started on the right path! Post often, read often, join us in Chat. One of the big advantages for all of us, this site is VERY non-judgemental.
I wish you the best! :welcome:
BHOG

[Cinders]

my bottom, I need help

Really good words, BHOG!!

Love,
Cindi