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I Am Your Disease

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    #1

    I Am Your Disease

    This is something I found from my old AA days. I did NOT write this.

    I Am Your Disease

    I hate meetings. I hate Higher Power. I hate anyone who has a program. To all who come in contact with me I wish you death and I wish you suffering.

    Allow me to introduce myself: I am the disease of addiction. Cunning, baffling and powerful, that's me. I have killed millions, and I am pleased. I love to catch you with the element of surprise. I love pretending I am your friend and lover. I have given you comfort, have I not? Wasn't I there when you were lonely? When you wanted to die, didn't you call me? I was there. I love to make you hurt. I love to make you cry. Better yet, I love when I make you so numb you can neither hurt nor cry. You can't feel anything at all. This is true glory. I will give you instant gratification and all I ask of you is long-term suffering. I've been there for you always. When things were going right in your life, you invited me. You said you didn't deserve these good things, and I was the only one who would agree with you. Together we were able to destroy all things good in your life.

    People don't take me seriously. They take strokes seriously, heart attacks seriously, even diabetes they take seriously. Fool's that they are, they don't know that without my help these things would not be made possible.

    I am such a hated disease, and yet I do not come uninvited. You chose to have me. So many have chosen me over reality and peace.

    More than you hate me, I hate all of you who have a twelve-step program. Your program, your meetings, your Higher Power, all weaken me and I can't function in the manner I am accustomed to.

    Now I must lie here quietly. You don't see me, but I am growing, bigger than ever. When you only exist, I may live. When you live, I only exist. But I am here...and until we meet again--if we meet again--I wish you death and sufferings.
    Noelle sez "Do want you like, like what you do. Life is Good."
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    #2
    I Am Your Disease

    thats so powerfull,, but so true
    there is no shame in losing a fight,, only in winning

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      #3
      I Am Your Disease

      Wow
      Patience has its limits. Take it too far, and it's cowardice.
      - George Jackson

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        #4
        I Am Your Disease

        Noelle.........was "good" to read.........is horrid passage, yet so very true.

        Starlight Impress x

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          #5
          I Am Your Disease

          Yes, that was very powerful and I thank you for sharing it, Noelle (although you all know my opinion of the AA "programme" in general-- that doesn't mean there aren't many good aspects and interesting insights/perspectives to get from AA.)

          Just one thing I strongly disagree with:

          "I do not come uninvited. You chose to have me."

          THAT is Bullshit of the highest degree. NOBODY chooses to have a disease. NOBODY! And even if you don't accept the disease theory, I think you all will agree that nobody wants to have an "alcohol problem" -- nobody "invites" it into their lives.

          Now I remember again why I believe AA is evil and does much more harm than good!

          But anyway, I thank you Noelle for that, I don't mean this as a personal attack in any way. It was a very interesting passage and I believe in sharing these things. It makes you think, and it gives you inspiration.
          Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life... And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

          Steve Jobs, Stanford Commencement Adress, 2005

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            #6
            I Am Your Disease

            Beatle, no disrespect intended, but I think that the element of "choice" does play a part in all of this, although I would be the first one to say that I am addicted to alcohol.

            My point is just that, when I raise a glass to my lips.........at that very moment, I "choose" to do so, yet am also compelled to do so due to my addiction.

            It`s like when we talk about "taking back control".........we have the power to choose to do so.......we do have choice, albeit to a limited degree.

            Starlight Impress x

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              #7
              I Am Your Disease

              I agree Star, there is an element of choice, if you choose to call it that, but I mean NOBODY chooses to become addicted. Is that what we did that first time we raised a glass to our lips? Did we think, I WANT to become addicted? NO WAY! After we became addicted, that's when we first realized we can and must do something about it.

              I guess I only speak for myself when I say (with conviction) I DID NOT CHOOSE to become addicted! (Think about the many people who raised that glass to their lips and DID NOT become addicted.)

              No, no no. I did not choose this. I now choose to use all of my powers to combat it, but I did not choose it!
              Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life... And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

              Steve Jobs, Stanford Commencement Adress, 2005

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                #8
                I Am Your Disease

                True.......noone chooses the actual addiction.......the addiction devours us.

                Starlight Impress x

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                  #9
                  I Am Your Disease

                  I don't like AA either and I tried to think of a way to change the wording, but last night my brain was too tired to take that on.
                  Noelle sez "Do want you like, like what you do. Life is Good."

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                    #10
                    I Am Your Disease

                    You shared that with us, Noelle, and that was good. And you did make a big point of it not being written by you. It was interesting and I appreciate that you shared it.
                    Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life... And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

                    Steve Jobs, Stanford Commencement Adress, 2005

                    Comment

                      #11
                      I Am Your Disease

                      Good stuff.
                      Though the words about "I hate meetings, programs, 12 steps, etc" - of course our addictions hate any attempt to override them... but this belief is also what makes AA'ers tell us that when we say "I don't like AA" that it's the addiction talking - which for many of us here at MWO is BS. We will accept programs that don't diminish us.

                      And I agree with Star and Beatle. We chose those first drinks that led us down the dark path to addiction. And we did NOT choose to be addicted.
                      FINALLY -- I'm a non-drinker!!

                      Comment

                        #12
                        I Am Your Disease

                        Very powerful. Thank you Noelle for sharing. I have used those words about AA. But about the higher power, meetings, etc. Doesn't mean I don't know what to do. If I don't do it, my choice, my result. I know better.

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                          #13
                          I Am Your Disease

                          Wow .. incredible words. Thank you for sharing that, Noelle. Need to add that to my "I HATE AL BECAUSE HE IS A DISGUSTING BASTARD" file
                          :boxer: Get the hell out of my house, Al, you worthless bastard!!

                          Comment

                            #14
                            I Am Your Disease

                            Enjoyed the wee debate, I think it is one of those that really doesn't have an answer. People who don't have an alcohol problem tell us that we bring this on ourselves and that we have a choice. We know that although it is our 'choice' to put the glass to our lips and drink, it really is not as easy as a 'simple choice', but much much more than that. If it really was so simple then none of us would be where we are now.

                            Lxx
                            Rather die standing, than live on my knees, begging Please..... No More.......

                            Comment

                              #15
                              I Am Your Disease

                              I'm bumping this because I've always remembered this, even though it was from AA.

                              Again......I did not write it!
                              Noelle sez "Do want you like, like what you do. Life is Good."

                              Comment

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