Hi

[Bella]

Everyone has problems......me too. I had a big shock last week and thought i would never drink again. I went to the pub with my husband tonight. He is still there. The babies came home with me and i'm being responsible with bed times. the baby is in bed and my 5 yr old is in his pjs and watching tv. All is okay. NO it is not. I'm drinking ....I'm hiding it. I had nothing but diet coke at the pub. Good girl....I got home and left to my own devices i saw it as an opportunity to open a bottle of red and just have one. I have agonised over opening white wine but know that my husband will notice, so...opted for red. I am devious and just want a hit. Thats it...i want a hit. I feel deprived from not having any alcohol when everyone around me can. My husbands home now...Boooooo

I had a bad experience the other week but that was because i was "let out" on my own, ..when i'm with my husband he keeps me on the straight and narrow. So...why can't he let me have a few wines with friends when he is there? Nothing bad has happened when i'm with him. It killed me tonight watching all the others drink and gradually get merry. I tried really hard to be funny and have fun but i got bored quick. They are all aware of what happened the other night and are being really nice. They roared with laughter at my jokey behaviour but i hated it really...so i got home and needed to have a drink.

I'm not wanting anyone to reply to this and i mean it.. I just need to write it all down to you people,, cos you understand what it is like to find it so F***** hard. I can't quite believe where i have got to......to this stage...i still havent phoned a counseller. I am doing research on them at the moment....its just an excuse. I'm shit scared but i'm getting nagged from m husband and best friend on that score. Leave me to get on with it in my own time!!!!! i feel like saying ..but i guess they just worry. I wish they were in my shoes for 2 minutes!!!!

Anyway, love you loads you lot.

Bella xxxx

[Guest]

Hi

Bella, as you know, we`ve all been in your shoes and therefore can totally relate to you and how you feel. Your hubby is scared, that`s all.........all he wants is what`s best for you and his children........he loves you. Please choose a counsellor soon.........you really need to let go of your fear of them........they will help you and you will be glad of someone to talk to who isn`t personally involved in your situation.

We all would love to be able to have a couple of drinks, Bella. However, many of us can`t do that. I hope I`m not overstepping the mark, but if you need your hubby to control the quantity of alcohol you consume, sounds like you are not cut out to moderate, just as I am not.

Life is not "over" because you cannot drink........you just need to find other things which make you happy and faithfully allocate some regular time to those activities. Get yourself out of the house without the kids once in a while and indulge Bella the woman every now and again and forget all about Bella the wife and mother at those times.

Thinking of you.

Starlight Impress x

[LauraAnn]

Hi

I hate to admit but I probably would have done the exact same thing in your situation.

(hugs)

At the Christmas party with DH I was "good" and he was "so impressed" that I had one glass of wine at dinner.

He didn't know that every time I went to the bathroom I went by one of the open bars (there must have been 4 or 5 of them and got another one and finished it fast by the time I got back to the table. (it was a big big party, almost like a huge wedding)

Big hugs. I'm miserable if everyone is drinking and I 'can't'.

[Guest]

Hi

Bella, we have all been where you are!!!! ALL OF US!!!!!!

If your husband is aware of your problem, why is he taking you to a pub? That is like holding a steak in front of a starven dog. I would end uo drinking too. God bless you sweetie! You know I love you! Have a heart to heart with hubby, he has to suuport you on this. It is to damn hard to go to a pub right now.

[Accountable for Me]

Hi

LUVUALL;273018 wrote: Bella, we have all been where you are!!!! ALL OF US!!!!!!

If your husband is aware of your problem, why is he taking you to a pub? That is like holding a steak in front of a starven dog. I would end uo drinking too. God bless you sweetie! You know I love you! Have a heart to heart with hubby, he has to suuport you on this. It is to damn hard to go to a pub right now.

I agree. Why is your hubby taking you to a pub this early in your recovery? I am not saying it is his fault, but .... it was only last week you had a big scare - and you needed to get sober and start seeking counselling.

I would of done the VERY SAME in your circumstance. So, I am not trying to be judgemental at all here. You are so fragile and he should of known better than to take you there. He should of been at home with you and the kids where it is 'safe' for you until you gain strength.

:l

[Bella]

Hi

Thanks you guys...i hate the word "GUYS" but it seems appropriate, i don't know why!

Thanks for not judging me. It means so much to not be judged.

Star...you will never over-step the mark with me.....i know i can't moderate.....i thought i could but look at me now?

I have so little self- love when i'm drinking....i'm so grateful when you are all so nice. Don't get the violins out! LOL

[sidney]

Hi

Your husband is not being helpful by nagging you he is only making you more fearful and resistant. Can't he support you by quitting too? Otherwise give up on the harping.
Not that I know anything. It is the hardest struggle and takes enormous courage. Just trying is a huge feat.

[Bella]

Hi

Sidney...what do you mean ..give up on the harping????

[hart]

Hi

((((Bella))))

Hon, it's hard to fight this. Remember we are in your corner, always! :l

[tea]

Hi

Bella that must have been so difficult, it can he horrible being around drinking friends BUT..... when you are feeling stronger you will see how horrible it is to be one of the drinking friends, you will look at them and say to yourself - geez....... is THAT how I looked/sounded etc. Be strong Bella and make that call, YOU ARE WORTH IT.

Love Lx

[Bella]

Hi

Im not worth it but thanks

[Guest]

Hi

Don`t you ever say that again, Bella. You are so damn worth it.........we think the world of you. :l

Starlight Impress xxx

[sidney]

Hi

About the drinking and the therapist. Anyway I did go to an addiction therapist 6 years ago. I was scared beyond belief. I quit drinking for 6 months with her help. The one thing I learned from her. Home has to be our safe place and our families should help us by not have alcohol in it. (my husband never did support me on that account)

[Guest]

Hi

Bella I just want to say I did not mean to judge your husband, I am very sure he is a great guy. I love you and want the best for you. I just think he needs to buck-up and help ya out a little bit. Shit, I would have been drinking at the pub. He has to know that is very hard for you....if not he needs to know. It won't be permanent, you will gain strength in time...

[Guest]

Hi

AND YOU ARE WORTH IT.....ask one of your boys?????