still struggling

[jay42]

fell off the wagon again .. i know its no excuse ie i keep up with the gym and getting good results . woke up in the middle of the night with a terrible throbbing headache it went off ... fact is im good for 5 to 7 days then i need it again .. this time last year i was af free for 3 months so why cant i do it again ?
im begiigining to think that only having a few drinks do i feel normal whatever norm al is that and looking after a sick realitive etc
i dont see any way out sometimes .
prehaps its due to low self esteem i dont feel good enough to be well ..
well finally i attend group psychothreapy in march so ill get to the bottom of it all .
love all
jay

[Cinders]

still struggling

Jay,

Like you, I struggle just like that.

I feel great and go along and them BAM, off into the bottle and in my case a huge binge. HUGE.

I am starting out again, have a few days under my belt, and have determined this time to get a minimum of 30 days AF under my belt, period. No ifs ands or buts.

I am sorry you, too, are struggling like this.

I have actually broken down and started back on topa. Hated the side effects but it did seem to help with the cravings alot. Going to put up the side effects (even the weird skin rash) and see if I can get at least 30 days under my belt.

Good luck to us both, Jay.

Love,
Cindi

[Miso]

still struggling

Jay,

I too take care of a relative. My mother had a stroke 7 1/2 years ago. It can be very stressful. My drinking escalated to 2 bottles of wine a day, every day (sometimes 3). I have been af for 12 days now, and I feel so much better. You have gone af before which tells you that you can do it. I hope you find the strength you need, and good luck with your therapy. Do you take any supps, especially since you work out?

Miso

[Noelle]

still struggling

That's what *I* want to know.....what is "normal??????" And who decided that, huh?

[jay42]

still struggling

im just concerned about my intake right now .. 1/4 bottle of vodka and numerous beers and i feel totally sober ... yet i want more ..
guess ill be ok

[Cinders]

still struggling

Jay,

You'll be okay. :l :l

I want anything, even a sip. sigh.

Keep trying, Jay. We can do this.

Love,
Cindi

[Cinders]

still struggling

Instead of wine, though, I had a can (tin where you are) of chicken noodle soup. It wasn't quite as good...

:H :H

Cindi

[jay42]

still struggling

i dont want to go ut to get more
but its a compulsion . when im sober i dont even want to know about it i e booze
i wish i had a magic wand and its says youre free of booze now and forever more .

[Guest]

still struggling

Me too, if you ever find it...please share with us all

[CaptJBean]

still struggling

Sometimes I wonder if it isn't just a bad habit as well as an addiction.

[Cinders]

still struggling

JB,

I've thought about that (habit vs addiction) a lot. It is a compulsion, not a habit.

Truly. That is why we fall and stumble sometimes months after we are AF. (Like I would know )

But, it is because it is a compulsion, a drive, a "need" that is truly imaginary.

That limbic brain that has learned it is required even though it really isn't and our rational brain knows it.

Det hit on it very well last week in his posts. Oh well, my two cent's and they are not worth much, especially these days!!

Love,
Cindi

[Guest]

still struggling

I personally, think it's a comfort. Things didn't go well...have a drink
Things went great..have a drink
Things is the more we are comforted by it and it makes us laugh and be come self assured. It is slowly destroying us from within. We go to sleep happy in it's glow and comfort then wake up feeling like hell and ashamed. who would willingly want to wake up like that every morning? It is a disease. We have to keep working
M

[Guest]

still struggling

jay, you will get to the bottom of it.........I wish you well with the therapy. You`re still trying hard and despite what you may think, you ARE doing well. :l

Starlight Impress x

[madisonmay]

still struggling

Hi All

I fight with this addiction v habit thing. When I am drinking, I had weekend AF this weekend, I have to have two bottles of wine in the house, just in case one is not enough. I always leave half a bottle after I have passed out, but next night, I have to have two bottles again to make sure I don't run out. I have no problem with drinking during the day, it is just the evening time. I don't know why I can't say one is enough or a glass or two is enough, strange, I can't figure that one out.

Mary :l

[whiterose]

still struggling

Hi

Just read the last post and felt I was looking at something I had written myself. Having consumed the usual one and a half bottles of wine last night and waking up thinking 'oh no I've done it again' I've realised something has to be done. I drove to a store to buy Kudzu and Milk Thistle as I've read it helps but, even then, on the way back I had to physically stop myself from going to the supermarket to buy 2 bottles of wine for tonight - just in case!! I now know I need help and, looking for help on the internet, I stumbled across this site. I think I may have found my help here!

:new: