AF vs. Mod..I may have been wrong!?!

[Lucy Van Pelt]

Hi guys...

For those of you who know me, I have been trying to go AF for such a long time and failing almost daily. I thought for sure AF was the way to go for me. I drank every night, and alot, and in secret. However, I decided last week, after a conversation with my sister, to try something else. I talked to my husband about having a glass or two of wine a day, if I want it. (he is aware I have been hiding). So, I (literally) came out of my closet. I have been drinking no more than 2 glasses of wine per day, and guess what?? This seems to work for me. I am not obsessing for more when I am done. I drink them slowly, out in the open, and I seem to be satisfied. I have not bought more than the two glasses worth (you can do that where I live). I don't trust I would be able to keep more in the house without drinking it, but...I don't know. I feel like this parallels Bulimia, kind of. i.e., someone gets a little overweight, decides NO MORE SUGAR EVER, and then binges on it in secret, taking in more than ever.

I got into trouble with alcohol, and then went into hinding, several years ago. Like a Bulimic, I would feel deprived, buy alcohol before hubby got home, and chug it. The rest I would bring home and chug secretly in my closet. This past week, I feel really ok learning to moderate...one glass before dinner, one with, and then it is over. Period.

Is that weird? Am I crazy to think this way? OH, and the benifits seem exponential. I am not smoking, and I actually starting working out again for the first time in MONTHS (I can get into exercise when I am not hungover).

Any thoughts? Can any of you relate?

Thanks

[Determinator]

AF vs. Mod..I may have been wrong!?!

Beth dear if that works and keeps working then bravo! and not smoking? double bravo!
for me it is different and I'll be posting why I'm going AF but please don't think that in any way that will be a contradiction of what you are doing. we all indeed must find our own way through this darkness. Well done, chat soon

[Lucy Van Pelt]

AF vs. Mod..I may have been wrong!?!

No Det-

I would most certainly NOT think anyone going AF is a contradiction. I almost didn't post this in general discussion, because so many ARE going AF. I didn't want to give their beast any bad ideas!!

But I just wonder, is all, if moderation is, after all, a better way to go for me. Geez, I have been trying AF for about a year and a half and failing miserably, and now I seem to have some success.

I DO NOT think one size fits all in this thing. I may find moderation is not for me after all...I don't know. I see many people successful in both camps here. Just trying to figure it out for me.

Thanks for the post! Love ya Det.

Beth

[Noelle]

AF vs. Mod..I may have been wrong!?!

I think it's just like everything else. We are all individuals and what works for one doesn't always work for another. I *have* to go AF, but that doesn't mean you have to. Do what works for you. If it stops working, then you try something else. Easy yet so simple.

[Chief]

AF vs. Mod..I may have been wrong!?!

If this works for you, Beth, that's all that matters....

We all want so much for you to succeed....

Don

[memarcie]

AF vs. Mod..I may have been wrong!?!

Beth, that is great and you should be proud. I am exactly the same way, when I hide it I tend to drink in excess. However, when I keep wine in the fridge I am happy with the occasional glass or two.

I honestly think the Chantix helps as well. I know you've been taking that to help you quit smoking and I use that as well. I really cut down my drinking when I started Chantix. I've still been taking it, and have been cig free Jan 1st. I've only had 2 days where I've over done it drinking since December 1st. I am AF most days.

Keep up the great work Beth! :l

[Determinator]

AF vs. Mod..I may have been wrong!?!

Lucy, there is some medical literature about the use of Naltrexone while moderating and it looks very promising. it's called the Sinclair method (after the doctor in Finland that did the study). I'll send you a link if you can't find info.

[Thankful]

AF vs. Mod..I may have been wrong!?!

Beth, I'm happy for you. You sound so relieved and pleased with yourself. Nothing better than that, eh?

We all have to find our own way out. It is different for everone and I feel it's important for everyone to post what works for them, even if some people don't agree with what they are doing. There are so many people out there who are willing to try anything to help them quit or cut back, therefore we should not be scared to share what we know works for us. Good for you!

Best of luck!! :h

Love, Me
:l

[jane jane]

AF vs. Mod..I may have been wrong!?!

Yes, that's why it's called "MY WAY OUT" and not "Only ONE Way Out" (like AA would have us believe.) There's a real chance, of course, that you will return to old ways, but that could have happened even with an AF approach. If there was a sure and foolproof formula, a pill we could pop and *poof!* be rid of the problem, well, whoever patented it would be a millionaire and we would not have this site!

You sound as if you are doing fine. I hope it continues to work. I think it will.

[bald headed old guy]

AF vs. Mod..I may have been wrong!?!

Beth,
I can't speak for anyone else of course, but from me, whatever works for you is GREAT!
Be Strong & keep posting!
BHOG
And you still have the dr appt, right? for the BP?
BHOG--in his naggin parent role!

[Guest]

AF vs. Mod..I may have been wrong!?!

I say fantastic beth if you can truly stick to 2 glasses of wine per day. Don`t knock it `til you`ve tried it is what I say. Personally, I can`t mod, but who is to say that you can`t ?.........you`ll know over a period of time whether or not this will work for you.........I hope it does and wish you all the best with your new plan.

Starlight Impress xxx

[YoungAtHeart]

AF vs. Mod..I may have been wrong!?!

Lucy,

I haven't heard you sound so upbeat in a long time. If this is working for you, GO FOR IT! There have been a number of successful moderators here.

It's good to hear you sounding happy.

:l :l

[Lucy Van Pelt]

AF vs. Mod..I may have been wrong!?!

Thank you all for the responses!!

I don't know either, but it seems to be working better than AF for me...so we will see.

BHOG- You are so sweet. YES, I have my appointment at the doc a week from wed. and I will be there!! I have never avoided bad medical news before...and wont now..so..a week from wed. I will be there in my undies lol


love,

Beth

[nancy]

AF vs. Mod..I may have been wrong!?!

Hi Lucy

I can relate to your post. I feel that for me, having nothing at all makes me crazy. I obsess about it a lot and it makes me feel deprived.

It could be that the chantix is helping you.

i also feel that we are told that alcoholics have this constant uncontrollable urge to drink. One drink and they will have to have 20, they will be in the grip of the disease. I remember being in an AA meeting and there was a saying that if you thought you were not an alcoholic, just test it out by going to a bar. Of course everyone smiled and agreed that there was no way they could pass that test.

I think the truth is that there are some people who will not be able to drink moderately ever and who are constantly binge-drinking. there are others of us who are somewhere in the middle, able to moderate sometimes and not able to moderate at other times.

I think the AA establishment would like to portray us as all the same or as having the same unproven "disease" but it seems a lot more complicated than that. I also really am stunned by the number of people on this site with psychological conditions, wondering which came first, the chicken or the egg.

I just would urge you to be cautious about your optimism because even if you can moderate for a while there is a risk of a slip. One slip can be disastrous and on the other hand 20 can bring no long-lasting harm. it's a very dangerous game to play.

The other thing I notice is that I am able to moderate more easily around other people. I think this is related to demons. you know, when you are around other people it is sometimes easier to tame the demons. Or maybe being alone is a trigger. so being able to moderate in front of people does not necessarily mean you won't have a binge some other day when you are not being watched.

I agree with Determinator that the Sinclair method looks really promising and I would love to check that out sometime.

Having said all this, it seems clear that you are reducing the harm alcohol was causing in your life. Maybe you can stick to the two drink limit. And how great would that be!!

Keep us posted please on your progress.

I am really open-minded about all options and wishing you the best.

[nancy]

AF vs. Mod..I may have been wrong!?!

bulimia

By the way, are you saying that you have experience with bulimia?

I have never had it, but from what I have seen, the two conditions are really similar. I thought it was so interesting that I did some Internet research. Seems there is difference of opinion about whether bulimia is actually treatable. A psychologist said that if someone has an eating disorder, you have to teach them a new relationship with food, not to do without food altogether, so it should be possible in theory to do the same with alcohol. Seems the common treatment for builimia is cognitive behavior therapy.

i have also read, however, that the body gets really messed up physically with eating disorders, and the body signals change in response to the eating patterns, so it's probably something that needs a holistic approach.

The author of How to Quit Drinking without AA considers alcoholism and over-eating to be problems of excess appetite and urges that they be tackled together.