Nine hour meeting -not fun

[betty boop]

Nine hour meeting -not fun

Allie, I have only just spotted this,

Sending huge BB hugs to help you through this :l :l

Don't forget to find time to look after YOU while all of this is going on ..........

[sammys]

Nine hour meeting -not fun

Allie you are doing great and that studio is a good option, there maybe other people in the building that are homebound or similar that they can help each other. I know someone who thought there mom would never be okay without living with them and she actually flourished quite well till she passed away.

Sammys

[Prest4time]

Nine hour meeting -not fun

Well things are not going so hot now. Got an email from my brother and he totally poo-pooed my studio apt with assisted living idea. He said it is too risky for him to be alone that much, and will most likely get someone to buy alcohol for him and if that happens, he will fall and hit his head or do something stupid and get himself serious hurt or killed. He said they called an Assisted Living Facility here in my city (since that's where Dad wants to be) and they have an opening next week. He said this is our ONLY option and he should know, he is the "doctor".

Here's the kicker: It will cost $3,800 dollars payable by next Thursday as they are running a "special" and knocking $2,000 of the price if we get him in by Feb. 29th. That first figure is "after" taking the 2,000 off. I know you will think, "well check out a different facility". We have -- this is the best price. As I said before, two of my siblings have nothing to give, so this leaves this expense between us and them. By next week. We dont have it. We simply dont. So I just emailed him back and said it sounds like a wonderful plan, but it simply is NOT an option for us at this short of notice. I am also getting flack about us going to Las Vegas for a week starting March 9th, but I have told them this is a business trip totally 100% paid for and our tickets were purchased months ago by the my husband's company.They think I should stay home now and take care of this. I am really feeling angry again.

Judie, Sammys and BB -- thank you so much for the kind words and encouragement. I'm really, really struggling right now.

[Preciouspinot]

Nine hour meeting -not fun

Medicaid will not pay for housing. ALFs (Assisted Living Facilities) are paid by disability and Social Security. I think you father qualifies for both. The housing won't be upscale but, you wouldn't be $3500/month out of pocket either. If you want me to look into it further PM me.

[Cinders]

Nine hour meeting -not fun

My understanding about all of this is, you get them in based on what they have only if the facility will then take them on Medicare money after all their assets are used up.

I have seen this with MIL, AIL and UIL.

Am I wrong??

Sigh.

This is a tough time in life, guys, taking care of our folks but we must do it. We just have to do it smart and right. (i.e. good for them, too....)

Love,
Cindi

btw, my folks aren't there yet but getting closer every day... So reading these posts avidly.

[Cinders]

Nine hour meeting -not fun

Oh, and my folks live in Florida, too.

I keep trying to convince them that if they need to move into Assisted Living, they should move up to my city but "they don't want to be a bother." Which means I must insure they are in a good facility where they are and then go down there every available holiday and vacation to see them. Now that IS a bother rather than being able to just visit them every weekend and have family around that can visit them during the week.

Sorry, just venting...

Love,
Cindi

[Cinders]

Nine hour meeting -not fun

OMG, how selfish that sounded. Sorry..... :-(

[greeneyes]

Nine hour meeting -not fun

Precious .. Why not? You find a nursing home that takes his assests and rolls into medicad when they run out. Is it Florida or am I missing something? I don't want P4T to do this. It is taking me down and my dad has money.

[greeneyes]

Nine hour meeting -not fun

And Cindi.. Not selfish... I have had friends look me in the eye and say do not do this, it will take you out. I didn't listen and guess what, it is.

[memarcie]

Nine hour meeting -not fun

Allie,
My heart goes out to you. I've been hearing of a very similar situation from a co-worker and his dad. He is in contact with an eldercare attorney. I saw someone mention that on this thread. If you haven't done that, maybe it's an option.

:l

[lucky 2.0]

Nine hour meeting -not fun

Allie,

This is such a hard time and I am so sorry you are in this mess.

xoxo

[Determinatrix]

Nine hour meeting -not fun

Don't let them push you around, Allie.
You have nothing to feel guilty about.
This is huge and requires time to think and feel.
Take the time. Do your investigating.
If you are footing the bill, you have the choice.
If they want their opinions to be honored, they can pony up.

So there!
Dx

[southernbelle47]

Nine hour meeting -not fun

Allie:l
I've been there done that...got the T shirt....
I thought it would never end...but it did...
I wish I had some answers .....lesson learned is to take care of our future "stuff" so that our kids won't have to.God bless you and your family.
:h Nancy

[tawnyfrog]

Nine hour meeting -not fun

Allie ...

Yes. I also have the T shirt. It's a horrible, horrible time for all concerned. And Nancy is right - let's take care of our future "stuff" - especially for those of us who don't have kids.

Stay strong, girl.

[GratefulEm]

Nine hour meeting -not fun

Thanks for the thread

Your post helped me think about my actions - now - and that I don't want my kids to go through anything like that. It was good of you to share.