i got an appointment

[Bella]

I am terrified....I have an appointment with a therapist on Friday at 10am. I spoke to him on the phone and he sounded like ....i don't know really but there were lots of very un-comfortable pauses and I know I am going to get there and say nothing...I'm no good at sitting and talking to someone. I'm so scared. I also have tried to arrange for a baby-sitter to mind my baby...they are going to get back to me as they don't normally do day-time sitting. And if I do get someone, I will worry about if they are going to look after him properly. Its all so over-whelming. I told my husband and he is pleased.but I am beginning to feel like he is half the problem here. I'm rapidly going off him and his strict controlling ways... I feel like a child on a lead...if I tug on the chain, he tugs harder and hauls me in! I'm really not a bad wife you know...I let him do as he pleases, never moan or nag..thats not my way at all. But he wants this perfect life and perfect wife.....I think he is lucky to have me really...!!lol I am great with controlling the booze when I am with him...Then ..when I get to be away from him...I go mad on it, like I have been let out for the night. when I went out with the girls he wanted to know where, when, how, who, and so on...Am I really that much of a loose cannon? Maybe I am. I know I should sit down and talk to him but I am afraid of what I might hear.

Waffle, waffle, waffle...sorry, just had to get this all out. Feel better now. !

anyway, Friday morning is going to be a very stressful day for me. Shit.

got to do it.

Bye for now my lovely friends.

Bella xxx

[wimpey]

i got an appointment

Small baby steps Bella,small baby steps..........you will be fine in the long run!.........

Just try to relax, you must talk to him because you will only get out if you put in!!.....but above all tell the truth.........

I will be with you in spirit if that helps!!!

W x

[Bella]

i got an appointment

thankyou X

[southernbelle47]

i got an appointment

Bella....Let's not mistake his concern and love for you for a control thing.

I'm so proud of you for getting the appointment. Keep it....You will know what to say...tell the truth no matter how much it hurts. They know what questions to ask...

Yes.. your hubby is very blessed to have you and you him...remember...in marriage it takes 100% from both people...not 50-50...

The "caged" feeling will be better when you get more control of your drinking. Start tearing down the lies you have written about yourself on your "cage" walls. YOU CAN BE FREE! We do have to be willing to do the work...and it is work on ourselves from the inside out.
Just my thoughts.
Love,
Nancy "Belle"

[memarcie]

i got an appointment

That's great you have an appt Bella. The counselor is only there to help you, so be honest and let him help.


I understand being terrified, it is a big step. You can do this!

[tea]

i got an appointment

Well done Bella, stay strong, just think of us ALL HERE walking in with you and surrounding you with support and love. You can do this.

Lxx

[betty boop]

i got an appointment

Bella, pm me your phone number I would love to chat to you in person ......

Love & hugs, BB xx

[dexterhead]

i got an appointment

Bella, sweetie, don't be afraid of a therapist. This person can help you ... no judgment .. they've heard it ALL .. and you won't just sit there not knowing what to say. hugs :h

[MyHeartIsDrenchedInWine]

i got an appointment

Uncomfortable pauses with someone who is supposed to specialize in talking? Maybe you should find someone else? I've been to lots of different counselors and two were horrible. One of them actually was abusive and screamed at me and called me & my children (that I spoke of to him) names! I later found out from another therapist that he was know for this and I was smart I never went back more than once....other patients needed a lot of therapy to get over him!

There are lots of good counselors out there, make sure you get a GOOD one!

Hang in there Bella!

[Roz]

i got an appointment

Bella, I am so happy that you made an appointment with a therapist. Hopefully, you will get some good advice on how to deal with your feelings and address your husband's demands. There can't be any harm in seeing a therapist - it is the right thing to do!
Thinking of You

[Accountable for Me]

i got an appointment

Good luck Bella! This could be the beginning of a very fulfilling life for you!