tough decision

[cowgal]

Right now I have made the ultimate tough decision we all here at MWO need to make (??? some of us anyway??)

I have had it w/ the fight, made a decision that it is AF for me, mods is unatainable, tough lesson, but think I FINALLY got it through my THICK skull!!:hitme:

I appreciate all the support you guys (Abs and mods)have given me throught this battle over the years.................yep tried this over a year ago, lost my account due to email address change, resubscribed in Oct, and FINALLY after battling this for this long, decided this fight is OVER!!!!!!!!! The battle is LOST, but in a way I feel more free now that I have accepted this tough acceptance!!:truce:

I kept trying for "just one day AF" for months now, kept calling it the "ever elusive AF day", and just couldn't even get home without stopping for my beer................my security blanket...............Well, I have retired this security blanket, feel bare and raw and scared, but all you guys make me know I CAN do this.......................with your help!!!

Thanks for sticking w/ me through thick and thin!!!:thanks:

Love you all:h

MA

[Determinatrix]

tough decision

MA - YES you can!
Congrats on your enlightenment.

Dx

[LauraAnn]

tough decision

Good luck and post often!

[MyHeartIsDrenchedInWine]

tough decision

You can do it!!!

[5thaday]

tough decision

cowgal;275173 wrote: The battle is LOST, but in a way I feel more free now that I have accepted this tough acceptance!!

MA

It is a nice feeling of freedom, isn't yet? Just think, now you can say goodbye to moderation and all the mental obsession and aggravation that goes along with it! Congrats on your decision; you're right, going AF or mods is the crucial decision for many of us here.

[tlrgs]

tough decision

yes you can do it .. time to ride the bull

[meditation mama]

tough decision

Mary Anne~

I am very happy for you... Sounds like you have done the dance most of us do.. If MODS is not attainable, then it is really a blessing once you decide to stop fighting that fight.

We are all with you.. It CAN be done, it's not easy in the begining, but with just a little effort (actually much less effort than trying to MOD), it definately can be done.

Please stay very close this first week.. let us help you get through it.. post often and get your feelings out - no matter how crazy they may seem.. let them go.. Letting go is crucial..

xoxoxoxoox

MM

[Ripple]

tough decision

Cowie, you were one of the first to talk to me coming to MWO. You have been struggling for so long, yet always giving love and support all the time. Its your turn dear, yes it is. Take it. :goodjob:

Luv Ripple~
:h

[cowgal]

tough decision

bawling!!

I have been bawling my eyes out off and on all morning..................guess I am getting rid of all the bad feelings, it kinda feels good in a way, I just hate having my office door closed and then if I have to go out for any reason, my eyes are all puffy.......................:upset:

BUT thanks:thanks: all the LOVING and SUPPORTIVE help you guys have already given me. I am really glad I started this post today ( believe it or not, I am the nervous, fearful type.......probably why I drank sooooo much) and I didn't think anyone would want to read about poor pitiful, silly me!!! Let alone write me back!!!

I love you all and thanks for the support, and I will be around (probably enough to make some of you sick!!!)

HUGS.:l

MA

[Guest]

tough decision

Well cowgal........that wasn`t a particularly easy decision to make, was it ? But, it does get a whole lot easier once we accept that we`ll never make a successful moderator. Let`s face it.........successful moderation is the alcoholic`s dream, but sometimes we just have to face the hard reality (like myself) that moderation is undoubtedly outwith our capabilities.

Good for you for having the courage to embrace your own personal reality.

Starlight Impress x

[Thankful]

tough decision

Cowgal, your post is full of so much determination. You seem to have really come to a sense of peace. I know that might sound stupid right now, but you seem to be dealing with a great sense of relief that you came to this conclusion. That is such a good thing!!

You should be very proud of yourself. Now you know what you have to do and your beyond wasting time with mods. Alot of people still are not sure of whether af or mods is for them, so it's a great thing when someone does get it. I'm jealous. That part of your struggle is over. Let the stress go, hun. Let it all out. A new day awaits you and you are going to face it sober and healthy.

You can do this. You sound so ready and that's half the battle. Best of luck to you. We are here for you.

Love, Me
:l

[bald headed old guy]

tough decision

Cowgirl,
I'll be here..anytime...don't hesitate to call on me!
YOU ROCK GIRL!
Stay Strong!
BHOG

[cowgal]

tough decision

thanks Sartlight and BHOG

SOOOOOOOO very much looking forward to a sober trip to UT, did it last year, remember EVERYTHING, no "I don't feel like hiking today, too hungover!!" YEP, had a few trips like that!! What a WASTE OF TIME,AND $$$$!!!

Another positive, I will save so much $$ for the trip!!!

Love you,:h off to work out!!!:l

Have much more energy today to burn off!

MA

[bootcampbarbie]

tough decision

hey girl welcome to the new sober you. so glad that you've come to this place. it is worth it and so are you.

[cowgal]

tough decision

good to be here

I am starting to have more and more hope as the time goes on and I see all the support in my "correct"(finally)decision I very difficultly made!! Hard lesson, on emotions, body, spirit, soul...........finaly MADE it though, now, w/ your pointers and help I know I WILL make it!!

love!!!!!:h :h :h


MA:l