I failed...

[Shikakai]

I got my supplements on Friday... the Kudzu made me feel really "strong"...

I felt 100% in control of myself; my mind, body and soul.

I deceived myself into believing I could "control" the alcohol. I could have one vodka martini but no more than two.

I thought I could moderate and had the one vodka martini Friday night and that one drink turned into 14 by the end of last night and I feel like sh**! :upset:

I was too ashamed and embarassed to even come in here and show my face, but I had to let you know what a loser I am.

I'm so sorry I lied to God; myself; my family... I guess the threat of a DUI and impending license loss "wore off".

I'm back where I was before... I just emailed my new job and told them I was too sick to come in today.

How do I get this sh** out of my LIFE!?!?!? :upset: :upset: :upset:

[bootcampbarbie]

I failed...

well, back in the saddle my dear. today is a new day. dust off and begin again. no mods would be a good start. af one day at a time would be a good start.

[Shikakai]

I failed...

Thanks, Barbie... I just don't understand how I got derailed... I was AF for over TWO WEEKS and I thought I had a handle on it... I was so wrong...

I believed the "little voice" when it told me I could withstand ONE little drink... Kudzu was in full effect and I believed that LYING VOICE when it told me I could handle it...

[cowgal]

I failed...

hey

I know for me that EVER touching the stuff will bring me back to the "why did I think I could??" spot.............I am right there w/ you honey, you CAN do this!!!

love :h and support!!

MA:h

[greeneyes]

I failed...

yep. Pick your self up, dust yourself off and start all over again. You MUST keep trying and try to learn the lesson as you move on. And you will.:h

[dexterhead]

I failed...

Hi Shika. don't be ashamed to come here. if we were too ashamed at times like this to come back here, god knows what might happen with some of us. sorry you had a slip, but you didn't "fail." hang on my friend !!!:l :l and we all know about that evil "little voice" ..uggh... that voice chats with most of us.

[WA]

I failed...

Hi it took me a slip to relise that no I cant moderate....you came back and are starting again for that you have my vote...
Love Jacqui xxx

[Shikakai]

I failed...

Thanks you all... I may go into chat after a while... I'm waiting for Domino's Pizza to open up.

I slept horribly; woke up with a hangover; the aspirin still hasn't "kicked in"

I'm so disappointed. I was doing so well. Maybe I do belong in jail! Back to drinking and driving as if nothing even happened!

I can-NOT continue to live this way! I won't do it!

I'm so glad this board exists... I don't know what we would do without each other. I want to go to an AA meeting, but that "voice" is still in my head telling me "I'll feel better if I have ONE drink... what makes you sick can cure you..."

It's just one lie after another... LIES, LIES, LIES!

[Shikakai]

I failed...

jacqui;275300 wrote: Hi it took me a slip to relise that no I cant moderate....you came back and are starting again for that you have my vote...
Love Jacqui xxx

Yea, I've learned the hard way...

At one of the AA meetings, the speaker said that she had been sober for 10 years and then she hit a rough patch in her life and thought she could have "one drink"... it took her five years to recover.

I am NOT leaving the house today! I am so high-risk right now... I'm a mess!

[greeneyes]

I failed...

See, you helped me...... My supplements are in my darn pocket. I will now take them out and eat them.

[tlrgs]

I failed...

hi there.. shikakai... been there done that . dont worry about it . the great thing is that you can do af again. hey to me life is like a bull. you know how a bull ride goes he goes to the left. then to the right. well life is alot like that and the good thing with life is that we can keep on trying . so lets ride bull. grab him by the horns and ride and enjoy the day. the sober way.

[Shikakai]

I failed...

greeneyes;275304 wrote: See, you helped me...... My supplements are in my darn pocket. I will now take them out and eat them.

LOL! Yea, I need to take the whole damn bottle!

I'm definitely going to stay on top of the supps... I had NO cravings at all after taking just one Kudzu... and that's when it happened.

I'm getting back on track, though... I have to.

[Shikakai]

I failed...

tlrgs;275305 wrote: hi there.. shikakai... been there done that . dont worry about it . the great thing is that you can do af again. hey to me life is like a bull. you know how a bull ride goes he goes to the left. then to the right. well life is alot like that and the good thing with life is that we can keep on trying . so lets ride bull. grab him by the horns and ride and enjoy the day. the sober way.

*hugs*

Thank you... I know you too have had some recent trials and tribulations...

That is a wonderful analogy... I'm back on the bull holding on. Things have to be different tomorrow.

I'll stay home today and rest... tomorrow, "back on track" as they say on Young and the Restless.

I don't know what we would do without each other.

[bald headed old guy]

I failed...

Shikakia!
You CAN do this! Belive in yourself, for just an hour at a time!
BTW..you did not fail! You simply found a way that did not work.
Stay Strong..we are all here!
BHOG

[Lucy Van Pelt]

I failed...

So many of us have to "test the waters" to see if we can have just one...

Ok, so now you know! Tomorrow is a new day. You can do this!!