I am sorry everyone.

[LauraAnn]

I failed you all, and God too (I gave alcohol up for Lent, at least). :upset: I had a "few" over the last several hours. My headaches were terrible, my meds weren't working. Unfortunately the drinking side effects were exactly what I was hoping for: I had a mood boost and my headache finally went away.

I am sure the effects are masking my impending guilt.

I don't plan on quitting my quest for getting back on track. It is honestly strange to me that I was planning on doing it, backed out, pulled into a commuter parking lot, and made the decision to buy something with the caviat that I post my failure to you all.

I suppose the biggest failure would to quit and never come back, so I do plan on my return asap. I am irritated that my reasons were weak however the results were so relieving it all--almost--seemed worth it.

I am sorry especially to my partner-in-Lent Cassy. :upset:

eta: I suppose I am telling you all because there will be no point in continuing posting if I am not honest

[StraightLines]

I am sorry everyone.

Hey Laura.

I undertsand how you feel. I dont have any wise words - how can I when I'm in the same boat as you, so I'll just say I'm here and I'm sorry and I understand.

[MDBiker]

I am sorry everyone.

You didn't fail us, if you failed anyone you failed yourself. This takes a little time but it is well worth the investment. Just roll up your sleeves, learn from your mistakes, and go again. You will be able to do this if you just keep in the race. NEVER QUIT. If you quit, you lose.

bear

[betty boop]

I am sorry everyone.

Ditto the lovely bear, You are fine but just dont quit ......

Hang in there .........

[tlrgs]

I am sorry everyone.

yep i agree with mdbiker . so hey keep on trying .
it doesnt happen over night.
it takes time. and time is all we have.
so make the best of it .
dont beat yourself up .
we all make mistakes. please keep on posting it help . heres to a new begining. good luck.

[dexterhead]

I am sorry everyone.

Laura: you haven't failed us in any way!!! Like Straight said, I'm in the same boat ... so many of us are struggling. :l :l But we have to keep fighting ...!

[hart]

I am sorry everyone.

(((Laura)))

I too am in the same boat. Hey, think how long you DID go w/o drinking and celebrate and hang on to that. You did it once, you will again. I too come here and still drink, but I too feel as long as I am harming no one, and I am honest, I belong. We are alcoholics, we belong. :l

[greeneyes]

I am sorry everyone.

Laura Ann, Stand up, put on your big girl pants and try again. And try and get a paddle for our boat if you would please. I sort of lost mine.

[Guest]

I am sorry everyone.

Yip LauraAnn.........just keep on trying and one day it`ll stick. :l

Wishing you love and renewed strength.

Starlight Impress xxx

[cassy]

I am sorry everyone.

Hi Laura

No you arent a failure..look what you have achieved so far..

What has happened is there has been some change in your thinking and actions hence so mant days AF.

Dont worry about the slip..just plan what you want to achieve for today //tomorrow.

Get praying and get back on your journey with all its twists and turns..all part of Gods plan (beyond our comprehension!!)

I am already planning my "night off " from Lent in March wheni go out for a posh nosh wih some friends.

Dont quit posting ..its amazing for some of us that we string a few AF days together never mind planning the whole of Lent...myself included.

Pride always went before a fall so I just plod on with the Grace of God living in hope and trying to moderate my lifestyle..My goal is moderating not Af at present.

So Laura finally dont run away..we are all here to support each other..

I,ve learnt so much from the honesty of people on this site.

up late as ate a bag of Healthy prunes..and now have a potentially explosive bowel situation arising.. yuk.

take care and dont let it get you down Laura..plod on.

regards Cassy

[LauraAnn]

I am sorry everyone.

I have tears running down my face over here. Your words Cassy (and all of you) mean more to be than you can honestly imagine.

Thank you. Good luck with your prune situation... ;-)

Plod is right. I will.

I am just without explanation as to why I cannot do this.

[Determinator]

I am sorry everyone.

LauraAnn, being honest about this issue is very hard, so you are actually quite brave. I agree, honesty is a must. it's integral with knowing ourselves and healing.
be well.

[happy4once]

I am sorry everyone.

LauraAnn - what a good sign that you were planning to post when you were done slipping. I think that's really great.

Next time I hope you can post before slipping...I believe there will be a few people to talk you out of it. (seriously - I have slipped a little lately and my husband makes me set a specific time when I can have a drink that night...and then I go and do something positive in the meantime, like reading the post boards, and when the time comes up, I've got my resolve back).


Some days you have to take it one hour at a time....hang in there!

[lucky 2.0]

I am sorry everyone.

i have respect and hugs for all honestly trying to improve their lives. i am really not a mushy person but i do have so much respect for those putting in the effort that i had to express it.

xo

[Preciouspinot]

I am sorry everyone.

Laura Ann, that is exactly what the spirit of this Lenten season is all about. We all try to be better people but, we are "human". This is a time for reflection and forgiveness. Of course, none of us are without sin.

I hope this does not cause you too much anxiety and stress.

Since tomorrow is Friday, maybe you could go through the Stations of the Cross. Maybe, that would make you feel better? Much love and understanding to you right now.