This was the subject of some debate on another forum I joined back in June when I first came online looking for help. Below is an exercise which is Step 4 in AA's 12 step recovery program: a table of resentments and getting to their source. This takes the form of a table in four columns.
One: the person we resent.
Two: Exactly what we resent ? in detail.
Three: How it affects self-esteem, relations with others, etc.
Four: OUR PART
I posted this myself this morning, after a few days thought, and how my resentments towards my ex partner played heavily on my demise over Xmas and New Year. (I know the time of year bared heavily on my thoughts as well i.e. feelings of loneliness but this was about getting to the root of it.)
So here is my brutally honest Step 4 if you like! (which I posted on another forum earlier)
One: Sally
Two: The fact that she had moved on with her life and I was still twiddling my thumbs. She had a new partner who was now living in the house I once shared with her and my daughter.
Three: I felt jealous, bitter, angry at times, self-pitty, very depressed (suicidal at times when I was drinking).
Four: I drank and took drugs to mask my true feelings and it only made things worse. I found myself in a viscous loop cycle and at times if I'm honest I thrived on the negativity and depressive ways of thinking. I'm reminded of Bill Hick's here "It's just a ride". I can get off if I choose to but I didn't and I stayed on to the end and it almost destroyed me.
And Yes! I've learned a lot from this experience and how I tend to wallow in my own negativity and I'll never move forward if I keep allowing myself to do this in almost every area in my life. I'm starting a CBT coure today for which I have to leave for in 20 mins, but I think this is a really good exercise to do and one I found helpful.
AA or not, this idea of looking at ourselves in the mirror and being honest with ourselves is something I still find difficult and I don't mean literally and I think a good exercise for anyone to do. So, anyone else up for it???
Love and Happiness
Hippie
xx
One: the person we resent.
Two: Exactly what we resent ? in detail.
Three: How it affects self-esteem, relations with others, etc.
Four: OUR PART
I posted this myself this morning, after a few days thought, and how my resentments towards my ex partner played heavily on my demise over Xmas and New Year. (I know the time of year bared heavily on my thoughts as well i.e. feelings of loneliness but this was about getting to the root of it.)
So here is my brutally honest Step 4 if you like! (which I posted on another forum earlier)
One: Sally
Two: The fact that she had moved on with her life and I was still twiddling my thumbs. She had a new partner who was now living in the house I once shared with her and my daughter.
Three: I felt jealous, bitter, angry at times, self-pitty, very depressed (suicidal at times when I was drinking).
Four: I drank and took drugs to mask my true feelings and it only made things worse. I found myself in a viscous loop cycle and at times if I'm honest I thrived on the negativity and depressive ways of thinking. I'm reminded of Bill Hick's here "It's just a ride". I can get off if I choose to but I didn't and I stayed on to the end and it almost destroyed me.
And Yes! I've learned a lot from this experience and how I tend to wallow in my own negativity and I'll never move forward if I keep allowing myself to do this in almost every area in my life. I'm starting a CBT coure today for which I have to leave for in 20 mins, but I think this is a really good exercise to do and one I found helpful.
AA or not, this idea of looking at ourselves in the mirror and being honest with ourselves is something I still find difficult and I don't mean literally and I think a good exercise for anyone to do. So, anyone else up for it???
Love and Happiness
Hippie
xx
eace:
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