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    #1

    What helps me

    I drink more than I should but what helps me is focusing on other things. Yes, I still drink but I know I am changing in this process and there is time ahead of me that will integrate that change, even whilst I worry about now. Being here is change. Planning ways to drink less is change. Taking supplements is change. Worrying so much about why I drink and how much I drink keeps me from acknowledging and adopting changes in how I look at things which takes me longer to see it which is actually holding me back. I like the Buddhist outlook which says don't struggle. Anything you force not to happen becomes an obstacle to change. Step back, see the forest instead of the trees. They are not important individually.

    My husband has been really helpful with this. He knows I have a problem but he also sees change that I don't recognize because I'm so caught up in the tunnel vision approach to alcohol...must stop, can't stop. But I am changing. I might drink mostly every day but I don't drink as much and I am slowly incorporating other things in life into mine. Yes I have this problem but as it is there I can let go of the grip it has. Worrying about how to change myself isn't going to change me. Letting go will. The rest of all that life has to offer is slowly creeping in because I'm letting it. So I'm not going to worry that I'm an alcoholic. I'm going to focus on the loving wife that I am, that voracious reader that I am, the kind and generous person that I am, the organized and capable person that I am. I love cookbooks and old movies and making people happy. Alcohol is just one piece of who I am. And I believe I can make it unimportant. I'll have bumps in the road where I wake up sick and tired of this one piece of my life. But I'll also wake up happy to be alive and ready to be a part of all that life has to offer. I want peace. That doesn't happen by wrestling with alcohol. It happens by letting the rest of life show me what wonderful things it has to offer. And what I have to give to it. We all have so much to give to life. None of us are only alcoholics.

    I wish peace to all.
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    #2
    What helps me

    Hi Always wishing,

    What a lovely post that has touched my soul!
    You have put into words how I have felt myself for sometime.
    Thank you

    Eastx
    In life we can live out our dreams its true
    the one who decides,takes chances,makes choices is YOU.

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      #3
      What helps me

      Always Wishing,
      I am actually sitting here balling my eyes out reading your post because you are sooo right. I will try to remember to be kinder to myself in this process and to remember that there is more to me than empty bottles.
      Many Thanks for this:-)

      Comment

        #4
        What helps me

        Beautifully put AlwaysWishing. We do tend to focus on ourselves in relation to drinking and forget about the rest. Thanks for reminding us that we are not the sum total of what we drink.
        AF as of August 5th, 2012

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          #5
          What helps me

          Always-

          Your post really resonates with me. It puts into words where I think I am right now. I couldn't really explain it, but you did it for me!!

          I have been trying to be completely AF for almost two years..and failing at it just as long. I have been so focussed on it, that I was either successful or a complete failure (usually the latter). It was all consuming me. I made a decision about 2 weeks ago not to be so black and white. I decided to try to cut down my drinking, while looking at THE REST of my life...the whole picture...the forest, not the tree.

          I have quit smoking, resumed working out, and went to weight watchers. I have enjoyed movies and books. I have tried to open up my focus and not FIGHT so hard...to just go with it...ease into life. It seems to be working. I am sure that for me, I will need to eventually quit the alcohol altogether, but I think I was so caught up in FIGHTING the obsticle, that I made it impossible to win... And I was ignoring all the other components of me...Not a balanced approach.

          Thanks for putting it so beautifully for me

          Beth
          formerly known as bak310

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            #6
            What helps me

            always wishing, that was fantastic.
            sigpic
            Thoughts become things..... choose the good ones. ~TUT

            Comment

              #7
              What helps me

              Always,

              Incredible post, it is inspiring to read your story and how you have come to realize that to struggle is not the answer. I too have stopped fighting the demon for it is truly stronger than me alone. By fighting against Al, I have only pushed away the better parts of my life. Not struggling, I can once again let down my barriers and find strength in the good parts of my life. I wish you the best.
              Is Addiction Really a Disease?
              Watch this and find out....
              http://youtu.be/ekDFv7TTZ4I

              Comment

                #8
                What helps me

                The first step is always the hardest - however its better to slowly integrate the change as emotionally you will catch up -or the rest of you will. We should never negate what wonderful human beings we all are. One small blip does not make us bad or worser than the rest of society, hell every one is dealing with one problem or another so love compassion and caring for humanity should always be at the for front of our minds and also paying it forward helping others on their journeys.

                That which cant kill you only makes you better stronger and more human than the robotic response you will get from people who have not dealt with a problem or issue such as this.

                If life was so easy we could all just do it like Nike says!
                keep up the good work
                xx
                ~ I am better than this devil AL ~:new:

                Comment

                  #9
                  What helps me

                  Thanks to All

                  I appreciate all of your responses to my post. Just got home from work and it was so nice to hear from you!

                  I ordered a book mentioned by another member (can't remember who but thank you!) called "Seven Weeks to Sobriety". Just received it yesterday and read it last night. It's all about the biochemical underpinnings of alcoholism. While it might not be the entire picture. it was so hopeful to read about what is actually taking place in our bodies. And the author founded the Health Recovery Center 15 years ago and has a 75% success rate! That's very high compared to any traditional treatment program. It's very well researched and explains in details what our bodies are missing that causes our brains to short circuit and cause us to buy alcohol even when we have no intention of doing so minutes before. I don't have this type of impulse behavior in any other area of my life so it makes me think there is something to the lack of balance in our brain/body chemistry. It's always baffled me and seriously undermines my self esteem. So I'm going to follow her regimen and see what happens. It is even more detailed than RJ's and supports the research that RJ has done in how the chemistry impacts our specific issue. I'm not going to focus on fixing the drinking issue right now and focus on fixing my body. I'll keep you posted on the results. Part of the reason this regiment interests me so much is that I've been taking the supplements recommended on this site and have already noticed a difference so a deeper dive into my biochemistry seems warranted. I can't imagine a life beating myself up over this every day and the stress of wondering what it is that I can't change. There has to be a key to it. It can't be weakness or lack of discipline because I am not weak in any other areas of my life. This site has been so helpful because I see the same patterns in others thinking. We all seam to be on a hamster wheel of trying to change. And we're all GOOD PEOPLE with good intentions. We are not weak. We are not terrible. We do not set out to disappoint those we love. We don't try to lose jobs. But this idea that we can control the uncontrollable is simply wrong. It is not entirely psychological. And I'm excited to be part of the progress. All of us, working together, can figure this out. We have tools and we can share them. We're our own test subjects. it would almost be fun if it weren't so potentially destructive!

                  I hope all of you have a wonderful weekend and enjoy the good moments because they are and will be there. Everything we are right now is good. This moment is perfect as it is. Whether we have or are or will drink, that doesn't change that we are perfect as we are.

                  Comment

                    #10
                    What helps me

                    Another great thread

                    So much collective wisdom here! I too am trying to refocus my thoughts and activities -
                    started walk/running again, stopping in to see my 92 year old motherinlaw, come to this site and read. Winter is just so damn hard to get through. And I really want to lose the 10 lbs I've put on. I love the idea of focusing on what we do love and less on wrestling with the demon on our backs. Thanks all.

                    Comment

                      #11
                      What helps me

                      Always wishing you are so cool!!

                      Comment

                        #12
                        What helps me

                        Another book addresing the brain chemistry as well as the supplementation to correct it is " Control Alcoholism with amino acids and nutrients by Billie Sahley et al. Pain & Stress Center
                        sigpic
                        Thoughts become things..... choose the good ones. ~TUT

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