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    I almost drank tonight..

    I have been having real thoughts about drinking the past few days. I really can't say that it is because of anything in particular, just real thoughts and cravings.

    Tonight I let my DD have a sleepover at a freinds with the distinct idea that I would go buy a bottle of wine. I thought I would drink tonight and then not do it again - that was my crazy thought. So, I took her to her friends, went to the grocery store and started shopping. I was on my way over to the wine section and I ran into a old AA friend - from years ago. Divine intervention - probably! I talked to her for a moment and didn't want to let her see me buy wine, so I left. I was going to go to another store to get my wine and then something happened.. I just drove home. I changed my mind....

    I went off Topamax about a week ago. I think that has made a huge difference for me. So, I am home safe. I pulled out my Topamax and am going to go back on.

    So, the moral to this story is... well I am going back on Topamax and I am REALLY lucky tonight... I am not going to drink today. I am not going to drink tomorrow.. I don't want to drink, so I just won't. I feel good about it all.

    I need to think hard about this.. This was close. But I changed my mind, on my own. Not after a slip, but before. Wow...

    I will be OK now.. I am thankful.

    48 days and no drink..

    Mm
    Face your deficiencies and acknowledge them, but do not let them master you. Let them teach you patience, sweetness, insight.

    #2
    I almost drank tonight..

    Oh, MM, my heart goes out to you. Well done!! I would definately call that divine intervention!!

    I so glad you stayed strong. I haven't slipped yet and I keep thinking, why not have a drink to see what happens. Then I keep thinking...are you f*&^ing nuts! It's a struggle. I really don't care to mod either, that's the strange part.

    Anyway, hun. I'm so proud of you. You are going to wake up tomorrow and be so happy you didn't put yourself through that.

    Stay strong. You deserve to be happy and you are making such great strides and positive changes for you and your daughter. Best of luck!

    Love, Me
    :l
    Alcohol is simply the device between success and failure.

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      #3
      I almost drank tonight..

      You should be proud of yourself.
      Today I also want a drink, I didn't take my topa last night and I don't know if that has anything to do with it.
      But I'm not going to drink...

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        #4
        I almost drank tonight..

        MM, you are definitely standing in your power. Wonderful! :h
        ~K.

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          #5
          I almost drank tonight..

          Well done!!! What strength you have. You should be so proud of yourself.

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            #6
            I almost drank tonight..

            Goal 1: Today
            Goal 2: Tomorrow

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              #7
              I almost drank tonight..

              Stay strong girl.
              Sometimes I wonder...."Why is that frisbee getting bigger?"...and then it hits me.

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                #8
                I almost drank tonight..

                Meditation Mama, Your Guardian Angel knew you just needed a gentle deterrent. Keep going. You are an inspiration.:l
                A BushBaby with Attitude

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                  #9
                  I almost drank tonight..

                  Great job MM! Way to stay strong!
                  Marcie

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                    #10
                    I almost drank tonight..

                    MM - you have successfully managed to fight thru a difficult time.
                    This will make you stronger.

                    Congrats!
                    Dx
                    * * I love Determinator * *

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                      #11
                      I almost drank tonight..

                      way to go mm ,,god or your higher power does work misterest way . great job so keep it up. lets go for more days af :applaud: :applaud: :applaud: :hug:




                      sorry about the spelling
                      :beach: life does change as long as you are willing to change yourself ..
                      best thing about the future it comes one day at a time..

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                        #12
                        I almost drank tonight..

                        Hi MM,
                        I am so happy that you were able to get through today, still sober! I know how much your sobriety means to you......well done, my friend!

                        Sweet Dreams.....
                        KateH
                        A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes~Cinderella

                        AF 12/6/2007

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                          #13
                          I almost drank tonight..

                          you inspire me, Ms. MM. thanks for helping ...
                          :boxer: Get the hell out of my house, Al, you worthless bastard!!

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                            #14
                            I almost drank tonight..

                            just wanted to say thank you for posting this - you may or may not know just how much impact your words could have on someone reading this tonight - again thank you for reinforcing that we all, no matter how many AF days we have, are not immune to this monster sneaking up on us at any time day or night

                            :thanks:

                            pbear
                            when you fail at something is when you learn and grow the most

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                              #15
                              I almost drank tonight..

                              Well done MM

                              That is pure strength, good on you!
                              Wake me up low with a fever~Walking in a straight line~ Set me on fire in the evening~Everything will be fine~Waking up strong in the morning~Walking in a straight line~Lately I?m a desperate believer~But walking in a straight line

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