Being overwhelmed is not good. Not acknowledging you are overwhelmed is dangerous to an alcoholic. That is what I decided today. I am overwhelmed and I am hiding it.. that is what almost cost me my sobriety last night.
I am trying to act really strong right now, well I AM being strong right now - it really isn't an act. BUT, that doesn't mean I am not vulnerable. My insides are in knots and I am sad, a bit depressed, grieving, scared, uncertain, anxious and overwhelmed.
I have to acknowledge these things, so I will.... I am going through a divorce and all the mixed up feelings that go along with it, getting ready to move my house, am now a single parent with a single parent schedule, a full work load, new employees and training, year end bookkeeping and taxes, lost my housekeeper that I have had for 8 years and HATE an unorganized house, don't have close to enough hours in the day, no time to exercise and feel guilty, AND TRYING TO STAY SOBER!
SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!
OK, I needed to get that out.. thank you.. So, what to do.. I need to get a bit more organized and give myself some breaks. I need to prioritize and FIND SOME HELP WHERE I CAN! I will take tomorrow to do that. I will not do this alone where I don't have to. That used to me my "MO", "I can do it all", but I am not going to do that. I am going to get a new housekeeper, see if I can get a hold of some of the other mothers to help, cut back on my schedule (cuz I can), and let my spa manager take over the books.. And I will take time to work through my feelings in regards to this divorce - no more hiding them.
DONE!
Sobriety has to be number one... If I try to keep this up I will drink.. I almost did. If I drink all of this gets worse. I WILL NOT let that happen. Time to bring it down...
Thank you for letting me get this out.. I think I was going to implode if I didn't...
I love you all!!
Namaste,
MM
I am trying to act really strong right now, well I AM being strong right now - it really isn't an act. BUT, that doesn't mean I am not vulnerable. My insides are in knots and I am sad, a bit depressed, grieving, scared, uncertain, anxious and overwhelmed.
I have to acknowledge these things, so I will.... I am going through a divorce and all the mixed up feelings that go along with it, getting ready to move my house, am now a single parent with a single parent schedule, a full work load, new employees and training, year end bookkeeping and taxes, lost my housekeeper that I have had for 8 years and HATE an unorganized house, don't have close to enough hours in the day, no time to exercise and feel guilty, AND TRYING TO STAY SOBER!
SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!
OK, I needed to get that out.. thank you.. So, what to do.. I need to get a bit more organized and give myself some breaks. I need to prioritize and FIND SOME HELP WHERE I CAN! I will take tomorrow to do that. I will not do this alone where I don't have to. That used to me my "MO", "I can do it all", but I am not going to do that. I am going to get a new housekeeper, see if I can get a hold of some of the other mothers to help, cut back on my schedule (cuz I can), and let my spa manager take over the books.. And I will take time to work through my feelings in regards to this divorce - no more hiding them.
DONE!
Sobriety has to be number one... If I try to keep this up I will drink.. I almost did. If I drink all of this gets worse. I WILL NOT let that happen. Time to bring it down...
Thank you for letting me get this out.. I think I was going to implode if I didn't...
I love you all!!
Namaste,
MM
Comment