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**livingfree** · February 26, 2008, 01:13 AM

Can you judge?

These are difficut times

Hey Keeta - I think the thing to remember here is that this is a site filled with people who are all struggling with difficult times. Everyone on this road needs both love and a boot in the rear at the same time, so there is such a delicate balancing act and the cart gets upset so easily.

Lets grow and learn together. Love and learn to disagree without being disagreeable. Don't go anywhere. Stay here - where you need to be. Where you need to fight for your life, you are worth it and we love and care for you. Being able to BE YOURSELF is the most important this this site offers. BE YOU. That is the person you are going to find here.

Stay. Stay Strong. Stay true to your goal of fighting AL The time is NOW.

Liv

**keeta** · February 26, 2008, 01:26 AM

Can you judge?

thank you living.very much

**keeta** · February 26, 2008, 01:34 AM

Can you judge?

i knew this post wouldn't generate responses...

**StraightLines** · February 26, 2008, 02:34 AM

Can you judge?

Keeta, I'm right there with you.

I'll be blunt - and honest, cos I'm only here to be honest THIS is why I'm HERE actually, to be honest because I'm not doing the best job in real life.
My post under Need Help ASAP a few days ago generated a lot of support, but I'm STILL wondering and waiting for Ripple to respond to me about her post, which made no sense at all. I understand we are all struggling one way or another but FFS if you cannot be supportive well keep the trap shut! I had a lot of people say on the thread and PM'ing me about WTF that was about, I've asked her myself but still no response. Sorry, but I find that rude, in cyber space or in real life. I thought it was only me but I've noticed too in the last week or so a lot of people not doing so well and breaking their sobriety, and quite a bit of backlash by others one way or the other. What's with that?? why all of a sudden has this flared up? I tell you now it's incredibly off putting for me who like Keeta has thought they have found their safe place. I'll be PM'ing the few that have been great to me and taking them offline to support me via email I think.

I said recently I feel hypocritical being here if I bust, but so many members pointed out that that's not what it's about, this place if for people who are deadset serious about bettering themselves via sobriety or moderation.

So, I'm still waiting, feeling jaded and rejected, about comments and hearing no response when asked 'what's that about?'. At least you can do is explain.
I'm not apologising either Keeta, and no one should. Again, others should just skip over and not be so suggestive if they have nothing positive to say.

This is the second thread I've read in the last day on this subject, so I know it's not in my head. Maybe those who dont accept others need to remember what it was like when they first joined? when they first couldnt quite do it initially??

I'm right there with you Keeta. I'll apologise to YOU that I'm sorry this is happening. All the power to you, hope you can find your way.

**hulagirl** · February 26, 2008, 02:52 AM

Can you judge?

Hey Keeta, I don't really know what happened. What, or who has upset you so much. I am usually "out of the loop" when it comes that sort of thing. I know that so many of us are so needy in so many different ways. When I come here it such a huge emotional trip for me. To see so many people reaching out, crying for help, and to see so many others giving support, love and care. I find myself frequently in tears. If I haven't helped you, I am sorry. I don't post much. Please stay around. I don't recall any club rules for this group on who is drinking, how much, and what is acceptable. We each have our personal lives to deal with in what ever way we can. Yes, we celebrate each other when we share our personal goals that we've reached and we also listen to each other when we share our struggles. Please continue sharing with me.

**cassy** · February 26, 2008, 03:17 AM

Can you judge?

Hi keeta

i find this site sipportive and I,m glad i came to it as gradually some changes have occurred in my lifr.I will never forget the courage it took to make mt first posting on here too.We are all at different stages on our journey and mant including myself still drink(i try to moderate )

I wish you well and say persevere and maybe buddy up with somebody on here that you can relate to for support.

sometimes i want to shout from the rooftops i,ve been AF for a while and other times i feel guilty if i blow my plan..either way its ok to come here and share.

good Luck for whatever your plan is for today with alcohol or without.

Regards Cassy

**Janice** · February 26, 2008, 03:33 AM

Can you judge?

Hi Keeta, I just wanted to respond to your post....I can understand how you are feeling. Recently I have thought about staying away from MWO, that I didn't "belong" here anymore. I've been here since May last year, and have had two - what I call, for me - long periods of AF - 42 days then 50+ just before Christmas. Since then I've really tried to keep on top of my drinking. Some weeks I've managed a few AF days, other weeks none. One thing for sure I'm not as bad as I was before I came here and....I've had a few tests this last year but I won't go there.

I hate to admit it cause I love this site and it has been like "home" to me but there have been times when I have thought everyone has had enough of me and my lack of "success" and basically "its time you sorted yourself out Janice!". That hasn't been said to me, but its how I've felt. Sometimes that does you good, a good shake up, sometimes you just need a hug and a bit of support.

Saturday night was a bad night for me and I posted. I wasn't drunk but I had drank too much and I felt so depressed and down. I definitely needed a hug!!

Anyway Keeta I just wanted to say, please stay...... we are all working on this addiction together, its not a competition, we are all on separate journeys.......stay a while longer, I think I might need to!!!

Best wishes,

Janicexxx

**lakota** · February 26, 2008, 03:51 AM

Can you judge?

hey keeta, feel your anger, i had a vent one time about the reponses i got once and when i got my replies i was stunned cos everyone was lovely and understaning, it made me realise,we are all in the same boat.
i visited the monthly mods page and found i fitted in there great cos i do drink, trying hard to moderate and doing ok, i feel its more positive to my needs there, maybe check it out??
i too felt like saying to everyone " oh sod off u lot" but i gave it a rest for a while then realised i do need this place, dont leave us!!
big hugs and happy tuesday, check ouy us mods yeh??
lv lakota xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx peace

**tea** · February 26, 2008, 06:27 AM

Can you judge?

Hi Keeta, please check out "HELP" by Greeneyes and 'MWO not the place for me" by Dexterhead. Please check out the responses.

Lxxxx

**Beaches** · February 26, 2008, 06:47 AM

Can you judge?

I too am not sure what has happened and will need to catch up as I have been away for awhile. I am sorry that some of you are not feeling supported right now because that is certainly not what this place is about.
I think it's very important that you and everyone talk about when they are having tough times because it makes us all learn more each day.

**satori** · February 26, 2008, 07:52 AM

Can you judge?

I am not sure what has been going on either - but if I have been involved / perceived as not being supportive, I APOLOGISE WHOLEHEARTEDLY. It was not intentional.

I am not the type of person who really does "down". - but posts like this DO make me feel sad!

It is no easier for the "senior" members here y'know.
It is VERY difficult to get exactly the right "tone" for every response.

If we tell it "like it is" - (and remember - we HAVE been there, and know what it takes) we are being insensitive to the needs of newbies and accused of not remembering what it was like (AS F**cking IF!)

If we "mollycoddle" repeated slippees - we are "enabling" their drinking.

Perhaps I need a break too.

I won't post for a while.

If anyone does want my opinion on anything at all - please feel free to PM me!

Love :l
Satori

xxx

**Dolly Sunshine** · February 26, 2008, 08:04 AM

Can you judge?

I'm with you. Perhaps I need to find somewhere else also.

**lukalee** · February 26, 2008, 08:36 AM

Can you judge?

I am here for you Keeta. I will not judge you; how can I? I don't feel what you feel; I have never walked in your shoes. Please don't leave.

**gabby1go** · February 26, 2008, 08:54 AM

Can you judge?

Keeta,

Frankly, I don't think anyone judges you if you are drinking or not. Who of us can judge??? Some of us are supportive and understanding, some of us are to the point and ready to take people to task. Unfortunately, these posts never come across as they are really meant. Never can be like real life. If you think you are struggling to get sober think of those that are struggling to STAY sober. Which is tougher in your eyes? I certainly am not sure. I have been on both sides of that coin and don't know. Stay on the site, find the people you like to talk to and that lend the support you need. Nothing says that you have to communicate with everyone. Foster the relationships that help you. That may be the way to make MWO work for you. All the best, Gabby.

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