Can you judge?

[memarcie]

Can you judge?

Are you referring to a particular post that made you feel like you weren't welcome? Is it possible you miss understood what was posted?

[Niblet]

Can you judge?

Hello Keeta, during the second time on chat ever you and I had such a nice talk... I hope that you always feel welcome here.. I really enjoy your company and hope that you stay... we all need eachother.xxx All the best to you.

[Bella]

Can you judge?

hey Keeta.....your post has got responses....I am glad. I hate to think that you feel un-wanted. Please don't leave...I don't know what has upset you but you should stay. Bella xxx

[dexterhead]

Can you judge?

Keeta : I am with you. I posted nearly the same thread.

I think the most upsetting, depressing thing I have yet read here is this: "I see the same people making a ton of threads and still drinking." GUILTY!! GUILTY!! THAT'S ME ... BAD, BAD GIRL!! Yes I've done a lot of posts and have not managed much AF. Many, many of these posts were reaching out to "newbies" or to people struggling.
Do we "deserve" a certain number of posts for attaining a certain number of AF days?
WTF?????
I'm going back to lurking and will try not to post so much until I attain my halo.

[Dolly Sunshine]

Can you judge?

Ok done deal. You guys stay I'll go. I have no problem with people drinking if they are making an effort. I've slipped plenty. I wish all of you the very best. It's a hard road.

[dexterhead]

Can you judge?

Dolly and Satori: don't go. I am just in a bad, bad place right now and struggling like hell. Let us all agree that we can disagree on the right balance of "tough love" and "mollycoddling." It's very hard to get it right for everyone in an online forum. We all need to stay here and possibly "e-slap" each other once in a while. But I am going to lay low for a while. Yes, it is a hard road.
Keeta: :l :l

[Janice]

Can you judge?

MWO Group Hug

Maybe we should have a group hug???? Here's mine :huggy

[dexterhead]

Can you judge?

thanks Janice !!!!

[Janice]

Can you judge?

Just wanted to add that bearing in mind the news we had here yesterday, we really need to maybe draw a line under all this now?

[wonderworld]

Can you judge?

Hey Keeta -

I have no idea what you are refering to either, specifically. But I think it's a very good topic. I have been on this site since October, and I have seen all kinds of fireworks in that time. I have thought to myself..........this site has members in all time zones all over the world with all kinds of histories and current life circumstances. The only thing we all have in common for sure, and the thing that brings us together, is a problem with alcohol. Could things NOT be loony now and then? I think Not!! Whatever kind of support you need it's here Keeta, and also maybe some you don't. Take what helps you and leave the rest. It's your life your fighting for, not other people's approval.

You say it is a website to support alcoholics, which is true. It was set up (and correct me RJ if I'm wrong) as the "community" piece of MY Way Out - the program which is written out in the book. The introduction on this site says:

"A recovery program that incorporates medication (Topamax, Campral or other meds as they become available); supplements including amino acids, vitamins, and the powerful anti-craving herb kudzu; a highly customized hypnotherapy program; and light exercise. It's done privately in your home with free support and mentoring on our incredible web based discussion board. The program works quickly and effectively to put you on the road to recovery.

. . . . . .

Hundreds of MWO members have joined our free community, with thousands visiting daily to post messages of support. There's something for everyone here, newbies and veterans alike. No more stigma, no more shame--just arms all around. Haven't found your answers in other programs? Stop by and find out why this is the Internet's number one choice in alternative online support.

For me this is the spirit of this board. The MWO program is not easy - it requires that you create your own treatment plan and take charge. I have posted on this site drunk. And I don't care who knows it :H !!! I know in my heart that I am committed to making my life better. If I don't do it perfectly, and at times mess up huge, so what?

While you may feel there is a prejudice against people who drink here, there is also a prejudice against people who don't! depending on who you ask. How do we find the balance? I think it's a constant process. A living one. And we do. Hang in with us keeta. For any one "hater" out there, there are a hundred (a thousand?) people who are good and kind and care unconditionally. Stick with those!

This was an obnoxioisly long post. I guess this has been on my mind.
Thanks for bringing it up keeta.

Love Wonder xx

[Dolly Sunshine]

Can you judge?

I do apologise for some of my words. I will support anyone who is truly trying to help themselves. I just know from experience that if you aren't accountable it's too easy to continue.

[Ripple]

Can you judge?

is today Tuesday? just wondering, i am going to meeting, thats where I will be. bye. :thanks:
~ripple~

[hart]

Can you judge?

Keeta et al., I have only maintained 34 days AF once in all the months I have been here. I have been continually drinking. I have also made some AMAZING friends. I mean friends who I love. And yeah, I'm a big softy, but still I find the people here among the most thoughtful, loving and understanding in one group I've ever encountered. Sure some folks have irritated me on occasion, but then again, the nature of posting is such you can't "hear" the tone that might have made something said mean something else entirely.

So I sluff off those few times I had my dander ruffled and put it down to the limitations of this media.

Keeta, you know I like you and I support you. So give us another shot. I think if you look at the whole picture you will realize there is more good to be gotten from MWO than an isolated experience or two of someone's ignorant response to you. :l

[Chief]

Can you judge?

I don't know what happened, but the most important thing is you never give up on quitting drinking if that is your goal.

I have been in chat many times with people who were drinking. It depends on how the person is acting....if they are coherent and involved in the discussion, that's great....I have no problem with that.

But I have also been in chat with people who were so drunk they were slurring their words online, disruptive, kept asking the same questions, etc....I do have a problem with that. When someone is in chat in this condition, no one benefits. I think most folks here are here because they truely want to beat their alcohol problem, but, I also think there are a few who are just going through the motions of quitting...playing the part...habitually "slipping" and coming here so everyone will say "poor baby...it's o.k...." They are not sincere in their quest for sobriety. For those I have little patience..

And as Satori said....it's hard for us "senior members" to say the right thing to every person in every situation, and to say it in the right tone.


Please reconsider leaving. Sometimes something is said here that is wrong, but that is no reason to turn your back on all the people who can and want to support eachother.

Don

[KateH1]

Can you judge?

Satorie, You probably have no idea the roll that you have played in my 39 days of sobriety....but, I am here to tell you, you and your post's have made a huge impact on me. I appreciate you more than you know!

Dolly, I know how annoying it is when those of us that are achieving some success in pushing through this thing are told that it was "Easy" for us. Well, we know that there is nothing easy about this. How arrogant for others to degrade our hard work and comittment!

OK.....the whole thing yesterday........here is what happened.

Our dear friend Jacqui lost her daughter yesterday. Some of us responded to the chat forum in support of Jac as she waited alone at home for her mother to arrive. We stayed with her even though it was a helpless feeling as she was so far away. Right after I left chat when our dear Star was on the phone with Jac, I saw a "HELP" message in the "Need Help ASAP" thread. I responded, as so many others did. This is what we do.

Green was calling for help because her husband had left her alone in their office with Alcohol. We all tried to support her, telling her to pour out the AL etc. The impression given was that the AL belonged to her husband. Then suddenly we were told that the AL actually belonged to Green and that the crisis was averted because her HS helper was arriving! Yep! I felt duped! I did not think the joking about "big girl pants" was funny, I did not think it was kind to post a 911 emergency call because she was bored or whatever!

I was blasted for making a statement regarding making a Joke out of a thread designed to help those who are in immediate need of help. I would hate to think that somone truly in danger would be ignored because of these sort of nonsense post's. Yes, "that is my mindset".

I encourage anyone to read this thread from the beginning. As the thread went on, several people jumped in and twisted what had actually been said and what had happened.

Yes, we are here to support, but, we are not here to enable and make a joke out of getting sober. Plain and simple, Alcohol is a killer. Yes, humor is critical, but, humor needs to be balanced with good judgment.