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[greeneyes]

What makes the difference between compassion and enabling? And lets throw empowerment in the mix too while we're at it. And this is sort of about me but also my dealings with someone else.

[Guest]

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GREENEYES....IF we had that answer, we'd all be fixed, wouldn't we?

[tlrgs]

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the love for someone .providing for someone..really all the same as the last two
good luck

[Noelle]

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Compassion is good. Enabling is not! Empowerment is good too.....it's something you can do for yourself or someone else can help you to be empowered. JMHO!

[Breez]

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To enable is to allow or permit someone to do something. As does empowerment. Compassion is a feeling of sympathy for someone.

If you want to apply this to drinking: you can feel compassion for a person but not enabling them to continue their destructive behavior.

[meditation mama]

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Enabling is giving someone the means to an end. To end both theirs and your suffering. Theirs because they are asking for it to releive suffering, and yours because you want them to stop suffering, so you too are suffering.

Compassion is a deep awareness of the suffering of another coupled with the wish to relieve it out of compassion/love. When you feel the urge to help someone because they are suffering, yet you are not suffering, you are loving. You understand that attachment causes suffering.

They look very similar on the surface, but they are VERY different for both the giver and the receiver.

Namaste,

MM

[Ripple]

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greeneyes;280347 wrote: What makes the difference between compassion and enabling? And lets throw empowerment in the mix too while we're at it. And this is sort of about me but also my dealings with someone else.

i would believe GE.. compassion is love and concern for another, sincerity. (real)

enabling; knowing a problem exists and feeding it rather than changing it. (no help)

:thanks: i hope dear this finds you comfort in your search.

never make serious decisions the first year sober.

~rippy~

[4theboyz]

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GE,

Enabling is the easy way out in assisting and or allowing someone to achieve their desired result regardless of the consequences to themselves and the other around them. Very undesirable and IMO destructive in AF situations. Example, "let me have one more drink, I promise I'll quit" - "OK, just one...You promised"

Whereas compassion is the ability to demonstrate the sharing and understanding of someone's suffering and pain. Further, to provide aid and assistance in alleviating that pain. Example..."I really need a drink so I'll feel better" - "I know you feel lousy and going AF is hard for you, but instead of that drink lets get some coffee and talk this problem through, you'll feel some much better for it".

Empower in the context of AF or ODAT is confidence. Where you give yourself the full authority to succeed at all costs and will not let anything get in the way of your goal of AF.

I hope this helps.

[greeneyes]

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4.. Extremely helpful. Thank you very much. How do you empower the other person? Is that possible? Or is that something you have to do for yourself?

[KateH1]

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Great thread Green!

Enabling is usually associated with either "allowing or even assisting" another to continue activity that is harmful. Sometimes this can be accomlished by simply saying or doing nothing at all.

Compassion is the ability to feel what another is going through. To understand, without neccessarily agreeing.

Empowering, to motivate through words or actions. I believe that we can share the tools for empowerment with another, but it is up to each individual to actually "Use" those tools and empower themselves!

Okay......there's my 2 cents!

Kate

[greeneyes]

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Thank you all. Very helpful responses. I'm very appreciative. And empowered.:thanks:

[trixietrack]

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people who enable tend to fear rejection or criticism they also tend to have problems with taking responsability for their actions or their so called loved ones actions.

they tend to over use the words sorry and please. enablers happen to be also very good at manipulating, this may or may not be conscious behavior.

a compassionate person can empathize without attaching or projecting their own into their loved ones struggles and pain. they in a sense are empowered, because their ego is not involved.

true love and strength come from compassion

[Ripple]

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empower~

pull`those big girl pants UP>:H


~luv ripple~