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who do i think i am

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    #1

    who do i think i am

    at work i am the mgr. - that is a understatement - well to make a long story short - i have an employee that has a drinking prob. and he confessed his prob. to me about a month a go. he had been missing days and calling in sick a lot - he was going to be fired. he happens to be my best worker by far. well i have been covering up for him for some time now and when he came clean about his prob. i had to look at myself. this dude came to me asking for help and i am sitting here the biggest al user that i know. i do make it to work everyday but that is know big one. this guy came to me asking for help and i am prob. more fucked up than he is. of course i had to give the big brother speech and let him know i was there to help him with his prob. but who am i to give advise when i am fighting the same demon. i can't let anyone at work know. this guy looks up to me. how can i pretend to be someone that can help. i hate my life
    tom
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    #2
    who do i think i am

    well your not there yet, as alcoholism is a progressive disease, get him better so he can take care of you when you need him. i am telling you, something stupid will happen to push you over the edge. thats all it takes is a push and its downhill from there. if you provide health coverage send him away, like a vacation, like i did, this guy needs to clean house, feel better and gain some valuable tools that he will have forever. its a start and its the only way to begin the process. people do it all the time, nothing to be ashamed of.

    ~ripple~

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      #3
      who do i think i am

      Just because you abuse alcolol does not mean you do not have something to offer this person. I just got home from a session with an addiction therapist who has been there and done that. It gives a unique (rather than simply textbook) perspective. This is happening for a reason. Person reaches out a hand.... help them best you can. You are in a position to understand. You do what your heart tells you how best to help. Hope that helps.
      sigpic
      Thoughts become things..... choose the good ones. ~TUT

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        #4
        who do i think i am

        Tom, wish that I had words of wisdom, as I am a manager too and had a serious drinking problem. That situation did not arise for me, thankfully, as it would be almost impossible to deal with back then.

        Since you are stuggling as well, I would tell you that you need to worry about getting yourself better first - that all you can do is encourage your employee to get help (whether it be through here, AA or an inpatient program somewhere).

        As Ripple said, alcoholism is a progressive disease and it sounds like you are not yet at the point your friend is. Bottom line is that it will continue to get worse until he takes steps to deal with it, and as a manager it is your position to encourage him to seek the help he needs but at the same time do what is best for the company. Covering for him only delays what is sure to come.....

        I can only tell you what works for me, and you can take this for what it is worth (and disregard it completely if you so choose). If I were in that situation now, I would be reading Chapter 10 of the AA Big Book, which is called 'To The Employers.' It gives a frank look at how employers, for better or worse, treat employees with alcohol problems differently because they don't understand the disease.

        But, like I said, it isn't for everyone - but may be worth reading even if you don't believe in AA (it is available online). You could even tell him how you saw something about this site on a television show - anything to start him down the right path. He is reaching out to you and asking for help, which is the first step in him realizing he has a problem.
        Sobriety Date: June 15, 2007 -- "It's not having what you want, It's wanting what you've got...."

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          #5
          who do i think i am

          Wow... I could have written this post. I work in the Human Resource office and had one of our workers who I had come to like very much. He was struggling as a single parent of a young girl and I really admired hime for trying so hard to win her custody. We became freinds when he would let me know how things were going.

          After he won custody he started missing work alot and was getting close to being fired. He came in and confessed and asked for help. Boy did I fell like a hypocrite. We got him some help through an employee asisstance program. Ubfortunately, he ended up quitting. I think it was because he was still drinking and he knew he was going to be fired if we found out.

          I feel so guilty aboutg not being able to be honest with him He was younger than me and knew I was married although he told me he was interested in me. Now I've lost contact since he will not return calls. I guess he is embarassed, but I just feel so bad that he has losthis job and i could not do more.

          I guess my advice is do everything you can to help without treating him differently. Good Luck

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            #6
            who do i think i am

            Hi Tom,
            I do agree with AAthlete...get yourself better first... there was a thread that hippie did about other sites on the internet called mollys (AA) or rock, that might help your friend. Hope it helps

            All the best of Luck.x

            Love
            Teardrop.x
            family is everything to me

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